My colleague was prying about my salary

I’m having a few issues with a colleague prying into my salary at work.

I don’t want to go into too much detail about the situation, but I’ve known this person for a fairly long time, before we got the job where we currently work.

they were pressuring me into revealing my salary by saying how long we’d known each other and begging me to tell them.

After several attempts at saying I didn’t want to give the information. I sadly gave in. I wish I hadn’t and had been stronger. I have been beating myself up about it ever since. I feel terrible, I don’t want to get into trouble. It’s all I’ve thought about all day. Why couldn’t I just stand my ground?

If something were to happen, would I even have a leg to stand on? They just made me feel so guilty and used our relationship to manipulate me a bit.

I’m very sad.

What do you think could happen?

Kind of worried I’d get in trouble or worse.

((((scarlett35)))) What kind of trouble? You've just revealed your salary, right?

I don’t know. Getting told off I suppose. I doubt anything will come of it but I just have bad anxiety

((((scarlett35)))) I understand. Please, be reassured. I don't think you'll get told off. It's not like you can decide your own salary, anyway.

Thank you. I’ve calmed down a bit now and feel better about the situation.

If you put the info out there no worries. If your boss or someone in HR did, that's a problem.

Sometimes the best thing to do is not to be a t yourself up but just take the lesson from it. Be compassionate with yourself.

Unless there is something in writing and signed by you stating you will not disclose salary information, then I wouldn't worry. I find it curious at the persistence of this individual to know how much you make.

Me, personally, mine is public record. *gulp* The issue with salaries as I, too, have grown up respecting the fact that such things just are not discussed, I find, is there is some level of expectation/pressure when such things begin to be analyzed and compared. It can lead to envy or job disatisfaction of others. On the other hand if living up to expectations it's a moot point. And many just go back to focusing on themselves.

Seems your coworker crossed a taboo line there. Maybe that fear of being reprimanded is better utilized by being miffed at their audacity? Misplaced anxiety?

I agree with you. The more I think about it the more I feel annoyed rather than worried. If anything were to happen, which it probably wouldn’t, I think if I explained what happened it would be alright. Im pretty sure salary information is “confidential” but obviously people do talk/know about salary, even outside the company I have to tell my partner/the bank etc for finance purposes ! It’s all a bit of a weird line but I don’t think her pushiness was very considerate.

I know my other colleagues have discussed salary, as I’ve heard them when it’s been outside of work. I just would prefer not to tell my colleagues as I don’t want any jealousy (either way) if I am being paid more or less than them.