[DP_2017]

Hi all

So I had a job interview today, at a dog place. The woman asked me reasons I wanted to work there besides dogs... so I said to try and socialize more and she asked if I struggled with that, I said, well I can talk to people but it makes me a bit anxious sometimes... THEN it got weird

She proceeded to ask me things like "Are you taking any medications for that?" "Are you seeking professional help?" "How long have you been seeing someone for it?" "How long do you plan to?" "Is this why you need a certain time off each week?" "Does your therapist know you came here for this?" etc....

I answered out of pressure and being unsure of what to say/do... but now I feel so violated, she wrote it all down

Was this inappropriate or am I over-reacting?

[Agent Misty]

Asking you how long you plan to see a therpist, and pretty much all those other questions seem very odd to ask during an interview. I can't say wether it was inappropriate or not, but certainly unnecessary and uncomfortable. I am socially shy and anxious at times and would personally be offended if she jumped straight to asking me if I'm getting help, taking meds, etc. If I said I wanted the chance to improve my social skills.

I personally avoid talking about my social skills, good or bad, as much as possible at interviews because my fear that it would become problematic. To tell a hiring manager that I have good social skills would be a lie they would come to realize later lol. But to say I needed to work on it would make me feel that will give the employer some pre-concieved notions about my socialability that would probably be wrong or even damaging to my chances because... it's not a black or white matter, but some people treat it that way. That being said being honest is not bad but there are sometimes implications to that kind of honestly. wording is key. To say you want to advance your social skills in the work place is good but I would avoid the word anxious or anxiety. The last time I told a professional I had anxiety was at a blood donor place... result? had to get a written approval to donate from my therapist, which I told her I did not see anymore and just quit taking the med I listed, it was my last refill and was empty but it was still in my system since it was so recent so thats why I added it to my med list. The nurse wouldn't listen. I contacted the therapist and told her this and she said she would not do it since I don't actually take that med anymore. I explained this to the nurse again and she refused to let me donate. I'm pretty sure that was not really legal. Mind you my sister was with me and went in first with this nurse. when she spoke with that nurse she told her she was taking that medication (same as me!) too but did not mention anxiety to the woman like I did... so she got to go right ahead and donate.

Anyway I would say you or not over-reacting. The questions were way too much considering the original comment could be summed up to wanting more social opportunities

[seesaw]

If you are in the US then ALL of those questions were illegal and you need to report it. Asking about medical questions, which those qualify as, and your treatment is very specifically illegal. Contact your local EEOC office and report her. Tell them you felt forced to answer or you wouldn't get the job.

You may want to consult with a lawyer also.

I cannot believe she asked those questions. I have hired people before and you CANNOT ask those questions. Like NO FREAKING WAY, I cannot believe she asked you those questions. SO VERY ILLEGAL. Blatantly. I would write it all down so you don't forget any of it right now, and contact the EEOC office closest to you ASAP to file a complaint.

You have a pretty easy lawsuit there. FYI.

Seesaw

[BreakForTheLight]

Yes, those questions were way out of line.

At the same time I would NEVER say I'm interested in a job to work on my social skills in an interview. A job isn't therapy and if social skills are important for the job, the employer won't want someone who says they want to improve those.

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by BreakForTheLight

Yes, those questions were way out of line.

At the same time I would NEVER say I'm interested in a job to work on my social skills in an interview. A job isn't therapy and if social skills are important for the job, the employer won't want someone who says they want to improve those.

I know, I've beat myself up about it since, I always say the dumbest things, it's no wonder I never get hired lol

[FallDuskTrain]

Definitely NOT OKAY.
The most she could have said (and this still may not be appropriate): “thank you for being honest with me. I hope you are addressing the issue”.
And then move on with the interview.
On the other hand, I have to ask: did you do or say anything that could have triggered her to ask these questions? In other words, is there anything else that you didn’t share in your post that we should know in order to evaluate the situation accordingly?

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

Definitely NOT OKAY.
The most she could have said (and this still may not be appropriate): “thank you for being honest with me. I hope you are addressing the issue”.
And then move on with the interview.
On the other hand, I have to ask: did you do or say anything that could have triggered her to ask these questions? In other words, is there anything else that you didn’t share in your post that we should know in order to evaluate the situation accordingly?

Nope, other than she thought I had a service dog so was telling me that he could not work with me...I was trying to explain my experience training therapy dogs, not service dogs at all...

But I stupidly answered all the questions so she kept asking more things....
like "Are you taking any medications for that?" No. I'm not a fan of meds. "Are you seeking professional help for that?" Yes... "How long have you been seeing that person?" 9 months ...

it just kept snowballing, I had no idea if it was ok to ask me that stuff and what would happen if I refuse so I felt pressured into answering and now I feel stupid for saying anything. I never learn how to talk like a normal person


it was a disaster all around

Her questions were definitely inappropriate, but I hope this will serve as a lesson for future interviews to never answer with "to socialize more" in response to why you want to work somewhere. Remember, you are not at work to socialize, but to work! I wish you all the best in future job interviews.

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Nope, other than she thought I had a service dog so was telling me that he could not work with me...I was trying to explain my experience training therapy dogs, not service dogs at all...


But I stupidly answered all the questions so she kept asking more things....

like "Are you taking any medications for that?" No. I'm not a fan of meds. "Are you seeking professional help for that?" Yes... "How long have you been seeing that person?" 9 months ...


it just kept snowballing, I had no idea if it was ok to ask me that stuff and what would happen if I refuse so I felt pressured into answering and now I feel stupid for saying anything. I never learn how to talk like a normal person


it was a disaster all around

I am so sorry that she put you in that position. Very uncomfortable

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Her questions were definitely inappropriate, but I hope this will serve as a lesson for future interviews to never answer with "to socialize more" in response to why you want to work somewhere. Remember, you are not at work to socialize, but to work! I wish you all the best in future job interviews.

I know that and I didnt even mean it like that, I don't like people or talking to them.... but I work at home and barely leave my house etc, I meant to be able to met people ad work on talking to more people etc but it came out dumb, I think I'm just gonna keep the job I have. I'm awful at interviews

[seesaw]

Um, I'll say it again. Her questions were more than out of line they were illegal. Also her stance on refusing a service dog was illegal (even though you don't have one).

I seriously would file a complaint with your regional EEOC office. She is not allowed, by law, to ask you questions regarding your medical history nor to outright deny a service dog without considering a request for reasonable accommodation and making the case that it would cause her undue hardship.

I hope you will follow through with the complaint because she sounds like an abusive employer at the least if she's already breaking the law through her hiring practices.

Seesaw

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Hi all

So I had a job interview today, at a dog place. The woman asked me reasons I wanted to work there besides dogs... so I said to try and socialize more and she asked if I struggled with that, I said, well I can talk to people but it makes me a bit anxious sometimes... THEN it got weird

She proceeded to ask me things like "Are you taking any medications for that?" "Are you seeking professional help?" "How long have you been seeing someone for it?" "How long do you plan to?" "Is this why you need a certain time off each week?" "Does your therapist know you came here for this?" etc....

I answered out of pressure and being unsure of what to say/do... but now I feel so violated, she wrote it all down

Was this inappropriate or am I over-reacting?

While not exactly appropriate, technically it is not a violation. You brought up the issue and she then had the right to question you on it. Had you not brought up the problem it would have been illegal for her to ask you if you had one. Unfortunately, you opened the door to the line of questioning. Sorry.

I say this from the point of view from experience of conducting interviews/hiring.

For example. If someone has large gaps between employment, I can't ask why these exist. What I can do is say, "I notice gaps between employment." If someone says they have a health issue I am not allowed to ask what it is. But, if they disclose to me the issue it is perfectly legal for me to then discuss it.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

While not exactly appropriate, technically it is not a violation. You brought up the issue and she then had the right to question you on it. Had you not brought up the problem it would have been illegal for her to ask you if you had one. Unfortunately, you opened the door to the line of questioning. Sorry.

I say this from the point of view from experience of conducting interviews/hiring.

For example. If someone has large gaps between employment, I can't ask why these exist. What I can do is say, "I notice gaps between employment." If someone says they have a health issue I am not allowed to ask what it is. But, if they disclose to me the issue it is perfectly legal for me to then discuss it.

He did not disclose. He mentioned he'd like to work on social skills, said sometimes he get anxiety. That is not disclosing a disorder. She then asked him about medication. Absolutely illegal. He did not disclose any kind of medical condition to open him up to this line of questioning. Simply saying that certain situations cause you stress is not a disclosure of a medical or psychiatric condition.

I also do hiring and at the very least this employer should be reported to the EEOC. It will keep the next person from being asked these questions.

[seesaw]

This is from SHRM, the biggest resource on HR law. Since your medications have nothing to do with the position you were applying for (like being a police officer or operating heavy machinery), her inquiry violated the ADA, which does protect you here, regardless if you are disabled or not. Here is a link describing such:

https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtoo...ingandwhy.aspx

Certainly these areas can be grey areas, which is why you should file a complaint with the EEOC. It does not cost anything file a complaint, you do not need a lawyer to do so. If the EEOC finds there was a violation, then the employer would be fined.

Employers break these rules all the time and I think it's very important to report this stuff, otherwise they continue to abuse people with disabilities.

Seesaw

[divine1966]

Her questions (especially about medication) were out of line and you could abd should time a complaint.

On a separate topic next time you could answer that you enjoy dogs and yuh are good with them so that’s why you are looking for the job. Unless you are requesting accommodations you do not have to disclose anything about mental health or any other health

[incogneo]

You shouldn't have been asked those questions. It is a good idea to report this person because if they have done it to you, chances are they have gone and done this in the past or will do it to others in the future. Whether they meant well or claim they are being vigilant about the hiring process, there are reasons why certain questions cannot be asked.

[sito]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Hi all

So I had a job interview today, at a dog place. The woman asked me reasons I wanted to work there besides dogs... so I said to try and socialize more and she asked if I struggled with that, I said, well I can talk to people but it makes me a bit anxious sometimes... THEN it got weird

She proceeded to ask me things like "Are you taking any medications for that?" "Are you seeking professional help?" "How long have you been seeing someone for it?" "How long do you plan to?" "Is this why you need a certain time off each week?" "Does your therapist know you came here for this?" etc....

I answered out of pressure and being unsure of what to say/do... but now I feel so violated, she wrote it all down

Was this inappropriate or am I over-reacting?

You can tell the interviewer it is none of their business. He is crossed the line into personal stuff

[Tangerine87]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Hi all

So I had a job interview today, at a dog place. The woman asked me reasons I wanted to work there besides dogs... so I said to try and socialize more and she asked if I struggled with that, I said, well I can talk to people but it makes me a bit anxious sometimes... THEN it got weird

She proceeded to ask me things like "Are you taking any medications for that?" "Are you seeking professional help?" "How long have you been seeing someone for it?" "How long do you plan to?" "Is this why you need a certain time off each week?" "Does your therapist know you came here for this?" etc....

I answered out of pressure and being unsure of what to say/do... but now I feel so violated, she wrote it all down

Was this inappropriate or am I over-reacting?

wow those are illegal questions. If your m future employer had the audacity to ask you that, I would run...

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Hi all

So I had a job interview today, at a dog place. The woman asked me reasons I wanted to work there besides dogs... so I said to try and socialize more and she asked if I struggled with that, I said, well I can talk to people but it makes me a bit anxious sometimes... THEN it got weird

She proceeded to ask me things like "Are you taking any medications for that?" "Are you seeking professional help?" "How long have you been seeing someone for it?" "How long do you plan to?" "Is this why you need a certain time off each week?" "Does your therapist know you came here for this?" etc....

I answered out of pressure and being unsure of what to say/do... but now I feel so violated, she wrote it all down

Was this inappropriate or am I over-reacting?

It was not only inappropriate, but illegal of her. You don't want to work there. I think you dodged a big bullet.

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Her questions were definitely inappropriate, but I hope this will serve as a lesson for future interviews to never answer with "to socialize more" in response to why you want to work somewhere. Remember, you are not at work to socialize, but to work! I wish you all the best in future job interviews.

Having a job can improve mental health and I think a lot of that can be due to the socialization and structure of a job and also the meaning it brings to our lives.

To the OP, it may have been that you answered that way because you were put on the spot and didn't know how to answer. It also sounds like an honest answer, and I see truth in that. At the same time, it may help to get some coaching for interviews and on how to answer interview questions. DON'T beat yourself up though, over this because that woman was weird. It wasn't you. It was her.

[Holy Ina]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Nope, other than she thought I had a service dog so was telling me that he could not work with me...I was trying to explain my experience training therapy dogs, not service dogs at all...

But I stupidly answered all the questions so she kept asking more things....
like "Are you taking any medications for that?" No. I'm not a fan of meds. "Are you seeking professional help for that?" Yes... "How long have you been seeing that person?" 9 months ...

it just kept snowballing, I had no idea if it was ok to ask me that stuff and what would happen if I refuse so I felt pressured into answering and now I feel stupid for saying anything. I never learn how to talk like a normal person


it was a disaster all around

It's inappropriate to my opinion. But you can take it as experience. Next time You'll be more ready to react to such questions.

One thing for sure, just bring positive mind with you when having another interview, what ever the result might be. It's all part/stages that you might have to go through until getting right job

[DP_2017]

Update, she offered me the job but then took back the offer when I told her I had a surgery coming up next month. So... ya...

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Update, she offered me the job but then took back the offer when I told her I had a surgery coming up next month. So... ya...

Seriously? Why isn't that illegal? The US is like the only western country that doesn't protect people's jobs when they are ill. ,

[amandalouise]

Admitting here I didnt read the whole thread....and I realize this is an older thread but happened to see it and thought it was interesting...

heres why...

america has privacy laws that prevent doctors, therapists from telling employers that they are seeing someone for health issues. (HIPPA/HIPAA laws)

Employers can not prevent someone from applying for a job because of mental or physical handicaps, and can not hire, fire or prevent, discriminate against someone with a physical or mental handicap (ADA laws)

but in certain jobs if the person being interviewed opens the door for the discussion they can proceed with the discussion. they cant decide whether a person gets the job or not on their handicaps but they can continue with the discussion that the person attending the interview brought up.

According to the first post the original poster brought up that they may have a mental problem of anxiety. this opened the door for the discussion of whether this person has a mental disorder, and how they are caring for that. and could impact how they react and care for the dogs.

animals can tell when someone is anxious, having trouble socializing, some dogs do not react in a caring way when they encounter someone who is showing fear anxiety, discomfort around them.

Some human beings that are uncomfortable and anxious are not so caring around dogs and cats.

because the original poster opened the door for the discussion the employer needed to make sure her dogs were not going to be in a position of being harmed should the original poster have a panic attack, and make sure that should a panic attack happen the original poster doesnt get bitten or other wise harmed by the dogs reactions to the original poster being anxious.

Again employers can't discriminate and prevent a person from getting a job based on their health issues

but they do have a responsibility that should someone ........... disclose......... on their own that they have a problem, they have to make sure everyone is safe and no one and nothing is a danger to one self and others. (in this case since a disclosure of a problem was voluntarily given the employer had to make sure the dogs were safe and wouldnt hurt anyone and that the employee was going to be safe to hire and not hurt their self or the dogs.)

Originally Posted by amandalouise

...
Again employers can't discriminate and prevent a person from getting a job based on their health issues
...

No one would know. These laws are useless. Discrimination is all over the place, and not based on mental health issues only.