[mulan]

It's starting to hit me, covid. I live in Portugal, I AM a doctor, a radiologist, and differently from what most propõe think se are not just the weirdos sitting in front a computer and writing down what we see on your exams. We sit beside people and perform their ultrassounds, their byopsies...

Before the pandemic I would perform many ultrassounds weekly (breast, abdominal, venous, arterial, whatever), I would site next to the patient, on close physical contacto (just with some gloves) and ir was inevitable to speak with them almoçar face to face, I would ask them to hold their breath and of course, in the end they would breath directly on to my face, ir was ok then it os not ok now... I am supose to be a residente but my rotations have stopped, now I am just a working machine.
When the pandemic start, we almost stopped the ultrassounds. We did them to the bare minimun otherwise patients would end up with a safter CT scan.
But not anymore... As we are the referente cancer center in the north of Portugal we receive a ton of patients. And we treat cancer so the health authorities insist we are a covid free hospital, but that means more normal work than usual and any less protection.

I am freacking out about my life put on hold indifinectly, about the protection of the risk patients we treat. Almost all the protection gear I have was bought by me and I need more... I feel like I am putting the public health at risk and risking the life of fragile people. I live alone right now. My sister who is a psychiatry resident was doing her rotations on the north of the country and she lived with me, but know she is on the other side of the country, helping her oficial hospital on the virus.

I barelly ser my parents, allways with too much care and I have no friends. I am flipping. I feel like we Will never meet life again as we used to know it.

Just help.

[Yzen]

Maybe you can talk with your sister and parents online using video conferencing or even on your phone. I did a video conference with some family members on Sunday and it was helpful. It made me feel good to see them.

I wish I knew what to say about your health risks. Please take special care of yourself and others.

[Hi IM Dan]

Mulan, hi

from your post you are worried, stay calm, I think we as a society are extremely strong and extremely intelligent. You and other doctors are working hard to keep us safe and others to prevent this problem from continuing. Have faith in your fellow doctors and scientists.

Yzen makes a good point to try video conversing with your sister or family for now at least.