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Default Jun 16, 2020 at 02:54 PM
  #1
I confided in our Business Manager/HR Director last week that I am probably facing a divorce, and am seriously considering it. As she always does, she asked if it's me reacting, and I said, no, there are real serious issues at play.

The very next day in our company virtual social hour when we were all congratulating a co-worker on his recent engagement and when the CEO asked, is there anything else going on for anyone personally? That's when the HR Director blurted out, "well I am still married". And the CEO said, "I am too."

My best girlfriend told me that this means the HR Director no longer respects me and was sending a "dig" my way, which is exactly what it felt like! A knife in my heart and a total dig at me. And the CEO too????? What the hell?

JUST a month ago, I received a nice complimentary personal email from my CEO telling me "good job" on all of my work.

They play favorites at my company and if you irk them in the least bit, you're on the outs. It's like a high school.

One person who had a heart attack, they told him they "had his back" and all that, yada yada yada. Three weeks later, he was fired.

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Default Jun 16, 2020 at 04:40 PM
  #2
I reached out to my CEO who said he wishes we could grab a be-e-r to chat about life. I told him what's going on for me personally and I told him I may have to get a divorce. He was glad I reached out. At least HE likes me. The HR Director/Business Manager? I don't know. I think she's all messed up as a person, personally, and from what I know about her.

Her brother

Possible trigger:


And her daughter is a negative POS. So I think the HR Director is a really messed up person, naturally.

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Default Jun 16, 2020 at 06:23 PM
  #3
No replies. Ok.

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Default Jun 16, 2020 at 06:37 PM
  #4
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Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
I confided in our Business Manager/HR Director last week that I am probably facing a divorce, and am seriously considering it. As she always does, she asked if it's me reacting, and I said, no, there are real serious issues at play.

The very next day in our company virtual social hour when we were all congratulating a co-worker on his recent engagement and when the CEO asked, is there anything else going on for anyone personally? That's when the HR Director blurted out, "well I am still married". And the CEO said, "I am too."

My best girlfriend told me that this means the HR Director no longer respects me and was sending a "dig" my way, which is exactly what it felt like! A knife in my heart and a total dig at me. And the CEO too????? What the hell?

JUST a month ago, I received a nice complimentary personal email from my CEO telling me "good job" on all of my work.

They play favorites at my company and if you irk them in the least bit, you're on the outs. It's like a high school.

One person who had a heart attack, they told him they "had his back" and all that, yada yada yada. Three weeks later, he was fired.
I'm sorry that you had to experience that. I do.understand how you feel.
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Default Jun 16, 2020 at 06:47 PM
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I'm sorry that you had to experience that. I do.understand how you feel.
@Buffy01, thank you. I greatly appreciate your compassion.

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Default Jun 16, 2020 at 06:52 PM
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@Buffy01, thank you. I greatly appreciate your compassion.
Your welcome!
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Default Jun 17, 2020 at 01:45 AM
  #7
Sorry you are hurting.

I personally wouldn’t confide at work. Not to a management. I mean I would if it’s something already happening and I need support like time off work etc but not if I am just considering it but might not follow through. And not to someone I don’t particularly trust like your HR person. Personally I’d keep it quiet at this point.

Like you said they are back stabbers. Even the most wonderful companies are there to protect their business, not their employees. Sadly that’s how it is. Screw them.
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Default Jun 17, 2020 at 06:20 AM
  #8
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Sorry you are hurting.

I personally wouldn’t confide at work. Not to a management. I mean I would if it’s something already happening and I need support like time off work etc but not if I am just considering it but might not follow through. And not to someone I don’t particularly trust like your HR person. Personally I’d keep it quiet at this point.

Like you said they are back stabbers. Even the most wonderful companies are there to protect their business, not their employees. Sadly that’s how it is. Screw them.
Thank you.

It's too late for that since I already confided. Oh well. I had spoken to her previously during the initial weeks of COVID and she had referred me to the company's EAP for counseling services, so she knew then that I was having a tough time.

It is a "family-like" culture where people commonly do share what's going on for them personally. The CEO himself used to chat with me all the time when I sat close to his office. He would stop by my desk almost once a day to chit chat about life - not about work, but about life. He even wrote me a personal email not too long ago to "check in" with me and see how I am doing. I do have a personal relationship on some level with both the CEO and the Business Manager. We've talked a lot about life in many different casual conversations.

If another job happens to pop up and I leave, I suppose this will all be a moot point, which is what I am hoping for. I just applied for another Director level role last weekend.

I was just upset over the Business Manager's comment during our social virtual hour. Totally insensitive.

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Default Jun 21, 2020 at 12:43 AM
  #9
Maybe I misunderstood your original post and I'm in no way trying to minimize your feelings, but to me the HR person's comment sounded like a joke that may have really had nothing whatsoever to do with you. Is this a possibility?
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Default Jun 21, 2020 at 07:26 AM
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Maybe I misunderstood your original post and I'm in no way trying to minimize your feelings, but to me the HR person's comment sounded like a joke that may have really had nothing whatsoever to do with you. Is this a possibility?
Yes that is definitely possible, but it's still a very strange and insensitive comment to make right on the heels of my telling her I may get divorced. You know?

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Default Jun 22, 2020 at 05:49 AM
  #11
I wonder if people were making fun of themselves that they are “still” married despite being quarantined with their husbands for who knows how long. My daughter and I were talking about it the other day that there might be an increase in break ups after Covid because people spend a lot of time together and for some couples it might be an eye opening how things really are. So being “still” married might be a joke

I also have to say that people don’t usually give much thought to other people’s marriages unless it’s maybe a close family or best friends. Even though you shared with her about your situation, it’s very likely hasn’t been on her mind at all. It doesn’t mean people don’t care, they do, it’s just not on their mind at other times., people have their own lives on their minds.

I am just being realistic. Not saying you shouldn’t feel hurt. It could still feel that way.
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Default Jun 22, 2020 at 06:00 AM
  #12
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I wonder if people were making fun of themselves that they are “still” married despite being quarantined with their husbands for who knows how long. My daughter and I were talking about it the other day that there might be an increase in break ups after Covid because people spend a lot of time together and for some couples it might be an eye opening how things really are. So being “still” married might be a joke

I also have to say that people don’t usually give much thought to other people’s marriages unless it’s maybe a close family or best friends. Even though you shared with her about your situation, it’s very likely hasn’t been on her mind at all. It doesn’t mean people don’t care, they do, it’s just not on their mind at other times., people have their own lives on their minds.

I am just being realistic. Not saying you shouldn’t feel hurt. It could still feel that way.
Thanks, @divine1966!

You make really great points here. It COULD have been a joke, and my own personal situation COULD have easily fallen off her radar. This is all very possible.

I too, have thought about more people divorcing or breaking up due to COVID. I know I am not alone in this experience, and I am sure that many couples out there have been suffering.

A co-worker told me that he and his new wife have been fighting a lot more due to the 24/7 togetherness. They just married last Nov.

I appreciate your input. I am a lot less peeved about it now, a couple weeks later. At the time, I was really sensitive over it.

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Default Jan 04, 2021 at 06:07 PM
  #13
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I reached out to my CEO who said he wishes we could grab a be-e-r to chat about life. I told him what's going on for me personally and I told him I may have to get a divorce. He was glad I reached out. At least HE likes me. The HR Director/Business Manager? I don't know. I think she's all messed up as a person, personally, and from what I know about her.

Her brother

Possible trigger:


And her daughter is a negative POS. So I think the HR Director is a really messed up person, naturally.
I understand what you mean.
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