FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#1
Does anyone else agree that being at work makes you behave in a way that you normally not act outside of work or, in general, have to act in a way that is not your true self? I know that there are boundaries and professionalism is expected at work, but I know some work environments make you practically change your personality for a certain number of hours each day.
Even at interviews, I'm sure everyone has given the interviewer an answer they want to hear. No one is going to admit a true personal weakness especially if it may hinder their ability of getting a job. And at work, you're basically expected to not show emotion or at least hide the fact that something is upsetting you. Nothing personal can be brought into the work place since it's seen as unprofessional. I never tell my coworkers how I'm truly feeling. I don't trust them to begin with since they're very gossipy but when they ask me how things are, I always say very good. Similar to how you would never tell a stranger how you are truly feeling when they ask you out of obligation when starting a conversation, especially on the phone. I force myself to be more talkative at work when I need to be, even though outside of work I don't talk unless I'm approached by someone and they take the initiative to talk first. Also if I'm upset about something, even work related, I keep it to myself. Also I've had friends admit that they act different at work too and that they would never want to see their coworkers outside of work and would never consider them friends. I wouldn't consider mine friends. Also I've heard a coworker tell someone that, while at work, she doesn't mind talking to coworkers, but outside of work, she wants nothing to do with anyone. Which I totally understand. Unfortunately work can be a very fake environment. Does anyone else feel like they have to be someone they're not while at work? It seems like this is the norm in the workplace. |
Reply With Quote |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
(SuperPoster!)
10 22.8k hugs
given |
#2
Yes absolutely.....
__________________ Hugs! |
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#3
|
Reply With Quote |
Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,871
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.4k hugs
given |
#4
Otherwise "work" would be called "fun". Or, "unpaid".
|
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15, Sometimes psychotic
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#5
|
Reply With Quote |
unaluna
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,380
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given |
#6
I am pretty much the same person everywhere. At work or not. Of course within reason but no, my personality or behavior in general doesn’t change when I am at work.
Now not bringing personal things into work place doesn’t mean you are fake or changed your personality. There is simply time and place for everything. |
Reply With Quote |
Discombobulated, Lunatyc, rdgrad15
|
Human
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,346
(SuperPoster!)
10 1,263 hugs
given |
#7
I had jobs like that in the past, where I felt like I couldn't be myself, even without sharing personal information, just couldn't even have my own personality.
But I don't buy into that any longer. I do avoid sharing personal information at work, but I am always myself and won't play a part for anyone. I have learned to be confident in who I am, and also comfortable that who I am can be different than who someone else is, and not let others let me feel shame or discomfort or unconfident for it. Definitely, if your personality is out of sync with the company's culture, it can always feel like you're putting on a show. I think, often for those of us with trauma histories, that being ourselves is risky or scary, because it makes us vulnerable. We lack confidence or self-esteem to stand up for who we are, despite the company culture. Just speculating based on my own experience. __________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
Reply With Quote |
Lunatyc, rdgrad15, unaluna
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#8
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#9
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Discombobulated
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,380
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given |
#10
If you can’t have your own personality at work (not even sure how people can change who they are? ) then the work place or the entire career is definitely a wrong fit.
|
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,871
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.4k hugs
given |
#11
|
Reply With Quote |
divine1966
|
rdgrad15
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#12
|
Reply With Quote |
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#13
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 4,699
(SuperPoster!)
4 11.6k hugs
given |
#14
I thought about this and I am pretty much me at work, without the personal stuff of course, that's just boundaries. If I was having a tough personal time I wouldn't talk about it at work but that would benefit me because I would want to get away from that - in fact at times work has been a safe refuge for me.
If a workplace was so constricted you couldn't be yourself I agree with others it may be a sign to move on. I would find that very hard. |
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#15
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Discombobulated
|
Discombobulated
|
Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 15
12 40 hugs
given |
#16
I find that everyone has a different 'personality' around different people, whether it is around family, friends, work, strangers. They also have different memories and ideas of you too so your family will see you and remember you differently to your co-workers for example.
This is completely normal. I feel I can't be myself at work either, because my boss won't allow us to have friendly conversations with colleagues at all. We are only allowed to talk to colleagues if it is work related. Toxic environment, so I am completely restricted on how I behave, speak, act in the office not always out of choice. If I did have a choice, then I'd be very wary of being 'myself' in this environment. I'm making a plan to get out of there. My old job was great because I could be myself and chat with co-workers during the workday. |
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#17
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
browneyedgirl20
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,380
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given |
#18
I don’t think it’s changing personality as much as adjusting one’s behavior to fit the situation.
Lots of people cuss or use other somewhat harsh words in certain situations: bad driver cuts us off on the road or we burn ourselves cooking. We don’t use the kind of language at dinner parties or at work or in church. I have loud voice but I don’t speak loud in the library or museum or at funerals. Adults adjust their behaviors to fit the situation and be appropriate. Only little kids behave the same everywhere. Ability to alter one’s behavior is a sigh of maturity. Nothing to do with personally change |
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#19
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
(SuperPoster!)
5 192 hugs
given |
#20
I think its a form of self protection. We really dont want people at work to know what is going on with us if its bad.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
Reply With Quote |
Discombobulated, rdgrad15
|
Reply |
|