Is my female boss being friendly or harassing me ?

I don't know if it's harassment, her being friendly or she's wanting something more and I'm very confused about it and haven't laid a finger on her.
I work in a warehouse with her and she's recently divorced and in her late 40's and very flirtatious with me and has been a supervisor over 20 years.

I'm male and in my ninth week at a new job in a warehouse and within the first week my female boss and i started talking about how we both use to work at the same company at different times and how working at this new company was a refreshing and relaxed change and while we were talking, she started rubbing the middle of my back straight up and down with her hand and that's the day that it started.

After that she has come up from behind me 3 different times and put both her hands around my neck for making a data entry mistake, patted me on the back as she walked by me, and started bumping her hand on my thigh to talk to me.

She's asked me to dance with her in the warehouse in front of coworkers and even asked if i was going to whip her one day when my belt broke loose while putting boxes on a skid for inventory.

When i was putting boxes on a skid one day the bottom of a box broke open letting glass bottles break on the floor and when she seen it, she told me to come over to her and she playfully slapped me.

This last time i was bubble wrapping glass bottles for protection for shipping and i had a large roll of bubble wrap at my feet on the floor i was using and she came over to help on the other side of the roller conveyor and looked at me and said gimme some, so when i started to bend down to get her the bubble wrap, she said to me, If you think i'm going anywhere near down there to get the bubble wrap from you, your crazy, well, i didn't say anything to her but, just looked at her confused and was saying to myself, i wasn't expecting you to go down at my feet to get the bubble wrap but, i felt she was implying something else, maybe I'm wrong.

Sorry you are being harassed this way. Depending on where you live, you may be protected under the law against sexual harrasment.

I know being touched, approached, or just observing sexually charged situations can be really stressful. It sounds like you might be emotionally flooded during these encounters. Maybe go find a quiet place after she flirts with you and ask yourself what you are feeling. Are you angry, frustrated, aroused, embarrassed? Then check in with your body. Are you hungry, tired, etc. Then come up with a plan of action to fix the situation. She's not going away and probably won't change, so you need to find a way to deal with her and take care of yourself.

You are brave to talk about it. Sometimes you just need a place to get it off your chest.

She should NOT be touching you. Her behavior is inappropriate. You may have to speak with her, and tell her that you are uncomfortable with what is going on, and that you want to have only...a professional Relationship . She may get angry, etc., but I think it is important to set your boundaries. There are laws against sexual harrassment.

She's definitely sexually harassing her, and she won't stop until you tell her to stop. If she threatens you with firing, you have federal and state sexual harassment laws to protect your job.

Thanks everyone, I just wanted other opinions on this, I have never had this happen at work before and I'm just in a crazy state right now on how to handle this.

Wow. That’s most definitely harassment. So sorry

That sounds like harassment to me... And it will only get worse while she tests your boundaries. Are you in a big enough company that there is a compliance office? Have you seen her bothering anyone else?

There's only about 150 people or so total for 1st and 2nd shift and the only time i have seen any H.R. people was at orientation, since then, they've become ghosts.

I have not seen her touching or acting this forward with any other guys but, maybe they aren't single but, she knows i am.

She's not messing with anybody else but, she knows I'm single.

What if you say something to her like, "So, is there a pamphlet or something on sexual harassment training at this company?" Is that too passive-aggressive? It is, isn't it?

Or next time she touches you or says something out of line, say EXCUSE ME! and move away.

Also, you should keep a list of these incidents and the dates they happened. Just in calendar order is fine, pen and paper.

Regardless of whether she's "just" being friendly / unaware / overly "touchy feely" (which is still inappropriate in a work setting) or she's harassing you, you are understandably uncomfortable with her touching you and making comments. That's what matters. Her behavior towards you won't stop unless you say something and I'm So sorry she's doing this. She's being completely inappropriate.

I get the sense from reading what you've posted that you don't want to "make a big deal of this" or speak up. Is that accurate? My apologies if I sensed that wrong. I do hope you talk to HR.

I'm going to tell her to stop and see how she reacts, If i have to go to the H.R. Department that maybe another drama story of stress, I think my job is over, this is not worth the bad that may come from reporting it.

I wish i would've never told her i was single but, that was before all this started, I never seen any of this coming from a supervisor.

I was going to say that too, that the next time she tries to touch you, or touches you, you could express your discomfort by looking at her weird, then moving away from her. "Excuse me," and moving away works too.

I'm just in a situation at work that's never happened before and thought she would stop but, it's continuing and I'm going to tell her to stop, I just can't believe she's acting this way with me, being as i am a complete stranger only 9 weeks on the job.

Why not tell her you're seeing someone new? Make a joke that your new girlfriend might not like that if she touches you again.

A little white lie yes, but could be the easiest way to both keep your job, and stay on good terms with your boss.

I take it that it is not unionized job, otherwise union could be helpful in suggesting how to go about it.

I think she is being playful, and has a crazy personality. It depends on how you feel about it personally though. You may need to tell her to stop. Or complain if it really troubles you. I wish all bosses were like that, honestly speaking. Most bosses tend to be very serious, but yours is a joker.

I do understand your fear about speaking up. One possibility *might* be to send her an email (using your work accounts). Something very polite: "Lately I feel you've been flirting with me. I'm truly very flattered and like you as a person. But because we're work colleagues, I'm just not comfortable with the situation." Et cetera... There have been just a few times when something really pushed my buttons at work and I sent a very polite, "positive" email to my group/bosses, sort of thanking them for all their good behavior and consideration toward me, but nevertheless expressing my concerns/pushing back. I didn't put any *threats* about going to compliance. Those emails were effective--at least for my situation.
The email will serve as *evidence* in the worst case. It could be good to have the situation documented.

Well, If you think her actions are appropriate and just joking, what she's done to me, then, I urge you to keep putting your hands on a female coworker you just met and don't even know and see what happens or see if she thinks you're a joker, if your male and get back to me with the results, if your not in jail.

You wish all bosses inappropriately touched their subordinates? What are you saying? You can’t be serious

Gosh, this is a tough one. You are definitely being sexually harassed. You don’t want to lose the job. If you confront her, she will most likely get mad and you will likely lose the job.

I recommend avoiding her advances. When she makes a sexual comment, give her a look of displeasure and dismiss it. When she touches you, react by moving your body out of her clutches and expressing with your face displeasure and dismiss it. Hopefully, she’ll get the hint.

If she escalates it after that, then I guess the next course of action is to ask her to stop. I hope she isn’t aggressive and vindictive. I’m sorry you are having to deal with this.

If he was a woman and a boss was a man and kept inappropriately touching her, would you suggest she just ignores and simply shows displeasure and just moves her body away from him by giving hints that she doesn’t like it?

That’s how many women were molested in work places for decades because they were told to keep it quiet. Why is it different with a man?

It’s traumatizing. He shouldn’t continue being traumatized. Of course there is a risk of being fired but that’s how these abusers keep their victims in check, keep them silent

It’s inappropriate to argue on other’s threads. No comment.

I didn’t see anyone arguing? Not sure what you mean. I agree arguing it’s not appropriate. I personally just asked a question. It’s ok not to respond of course. Have a great night

Chevelle, let us know how things go next time you work snd what course of action you think of taking. I am very sorry you are in such a terrible situation. Sadly it’s not uncommon in a work place.