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Chocopiano27
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Default Jan 28, 2021 at 10:31 AM
  #1
I have major depression and PTSD, and I'm beginning to doubt myself if I can actually work for myself to earn money and survive in the future.

I've been job hunting for 3 months now and nothing good came out of it. Even though I came from a reputable industry it seems like I'm still not good enough (which is normal since I know most university students aren't really 'industry-ready') but to be rejected for several intern positions?.. I'm totally wrecked.

I can simply do freelance work or something like that since I'm a designer, but my moodiness and lack of control of my triggers just make me feel doubtful of myself. My depression is taking a toll these past months and I can't seem to produce anything for my portfolio, it's hard to make myself eat, let alone finish my work.

Can I really survive? How can I earn money with this instability? I don't even trust myself anymore.
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Default Jan 28, 2021 at 05:17 PM
  #2
Dear Chocopiano27,

I am so very sorry you are in the situation you described. Many years ago I was in a somewhat similar situation and it was just awful. The memories of that time are still very vivid to me. One of the awful things about depression is that it can feed itself and cause one to have serious self-doubts. I wish I knew what to say that would be helpful to you. I think you are very heroic to be dealing with depression and the issues you mentioned. My deepest apologies for not having anything helpful to offer. Sometimes when one wants to be helpful, one simply does not know how. Hopefully others here will prove more helpful to you. You deserve a life of meaning where you can experience real peace of mind and joy of living!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Default Jan 31, 2021 at 01:07 AM
  #3
Hey, I just wanted to say that I've had similar thoughts in the past, and I totally get the concern that you won't be able to work in the future. But, I've found that I have up and down periods. In some of those periods, I am able to work, and in some of them, I am not able to work as much or at all, and both things are fine. I have confidence that I'll be able to make ends meet in the future, although it may be really hard and challenging at times. But I always have that faith that things will probably work out. Have you considered that maybe you're just in a rough patch right now and that you will emerge from that rough patch even stronger?

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Default Jan 31, 2021 at 10:58 AM
  #4
Right now the job market is really tough due to COVID, lots of people have had to take plan b type jobs. That being said, there are definitely rough patches. I have bipolar and despite having a degree and years of experience I got to the point where I couldn’t find a job I could keep. We had to add fish oil to my mix and it helped my Brain stay sharp. Now I’m pursuing a masters and working in a different field. My only advice is if plan A doesn’t work have different plans you can pursue.

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Default Jan 31, 2021 at 04:21 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chocopiano27 View Post
I have major depression and PTSD, and I'm beginning to doubt myself if I can actually work for myself to earn money and survive in the future.

I've been job hunting for 3 months now and nothing good came out of it. Even though I came from a reputable industry it seems like I'm still not good enough (which is normal since I know most university students aren't really 'industry-ready') but to be rejected for several intern positions?.. I'm totally wrecked.

I can simply do freelance work or something like that since I'm a designer, but my moodiness and lack of control of my triggers just make me feel doubtful of myself. My depression is taking a toll these past months and I can't seem to produce anything for my portfolio, it's hard to make myself eat, let alone finish my work.

Can I really survive? How can I earn money with this instability? I don't even trust myself anymore.
I agree that most university students are not really ''industry-ready''. I'm not sure if you're in therapy. If not, this maybe is something to look into (different sorts of therapy to help with moods and triggers etc)


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Default Feb 03, 2021 at 06:01 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by Yaowen View Post
Dear Chocopiano27,

I am so very sorry you are in the situation you described. Many years ago I was in a somewhat similar situation and it was just awful. The memories of that time are still very vivid to me. One of the awful things about depression is that it can feed itself and cause one to have serious self-doubts. I wish I knew what to say that would be helpful to you. I think you are very heroic to be dealing with depression and the issues you mentioned. My deepest apologies for not having anything helpful to offer. Sometimes when one wants to be helpful, one simply does not know how. Hopefully others here will prove more helpful to you. You deserve a life of meaning where you can experience real peace of mind and joy of living!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
Thank you so much, Yao Wen. It's okay, and I know it's hard to help someone but don't know how to, I've been there too. But knowing that you've survived all the similar struggles makes me a bit hopeful that I can get through this too. And it also makes me feel less alone. Thank you for sharing you experience
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