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Elder
puzzclar
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Member Since: Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
101 hugs
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#1
If I stay where I am, working in people's homes where I'm reminded of what grad school professors said, I'm terrified I won't heal. Since November, I'm reminded every day that I'm not good enough, that I am not healthy enough to be there for others.
Last night, I wrote my two weeks notice. Of course the boss wants to know why. He says I'm good, but I feel like I say the wrong thing constantly, and I don't have support. I have called and emailed my supervisor, and gotten no response. If I really need something, going to boss/owner is the only way to get support.... Which is just B.S. I really want to get healthy, get off meds and figure out what I want and not just what I semi enjoy, or have little support. In grad school, the professors wanted me to do a different degree but I didn't want to do it. Maybe I should have.... Maybe not. I do have a second job, that is physically challenging but financially worth it. I want to get healthy and having the physical challenge would help me get healthy. I feel stuck!! I feel like I'm worth little, because I don't say the right thing in the right way, at the right time. It all comes out wrong. And the other person takes it wrong, and then it blows up in my face. Every time I miss saying something, I'm terrified of getting hurt, then I push back and run away from hurt to keep myself safe. It's not working, and I need space to heal. Yet, I called the old boss, and I'm terrified of saying I've had a trauma response every day for months, and I feel it's affecting me and everyone around me. And I feel awful. Sent from my moto g stylus using Tapatalk |
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annoyedgrunt84, hvert, Yaowen
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annoyedgrunt84
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Veteran Member
annoyedgrunt84
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 720
634 hugs
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#2
I see the difficult choice you have here, I hope you find what it is you want to do.
__________________ "We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
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Grand Magnate
The_little_didgee
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,549
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#3
Quote:
Do you have to give a detailed reason? Stating that the job isn't a good fit should be sufficient. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Elder
puzzclar
has no updates.
Member Since: Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
101 hugs
given |
#4
I did say a little. The owner understood why. The last two days I've felt a bit off. I was relieved but now it's changed
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