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rockgirl
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Member Since: Sep 2021
Location: United States
Posts: 1
2 yr Member
Default Sep 25, 2021 at 06:44 AM
  #1
Hi, everyone,


This is my first time ever posting to a forum like this. Thank you to anyone who can offer some advice.


Where I work, we have a new employee. She's only been with the company a couple of months. I'll call her Kylie.


From the start, Kylie didn't exactly fit in, and our other co-workers weren't exactly welcoming, although things weren't too bad. I also don't exactly fit in at our work place, and Kylie and I have gotten to know each other pretty well. It's a pretty conservative workplace, and Kylie and I are both pretty non-traditional.


She told me she has quite a few health problems, emotionally and mentally. I struggle with my own mental health (bipolar), so I can relate. She never actually named her mental-health condition, but she described it to me, and from what she said, it sounds like she has BPD.


Because of her conditions, she calls in sick a lot, and, this is probably the bigger problem, when she is at work, she often doesn't get her tasks done. This is in a lot of ways, the fault of the workplace, they are terrible at training new hires, and Kylie doesn't like asking questions. One of her physical conditions causes her chronic pain, and sometimes, I think it's just physically hard for her to do her job (we work in retail). I also know she has struggled with depression, and I understand how hard it can be to make yourself physically do anything when you're depressed.


However, this is causing all kinds of problems in the workplace. The other employees all think Kylie is lazy and calling out because she wants time off. Kylie and I were talking the other day about how unkind the other employees had been to her. She might have made it sound a little worse than it really is, but she's not imagining things. I have seen people be unkind to her, and I've seen them talking about her within her earshot. Besides, our store manager talks badly about her to me and has discriminated against me on account of my mental-health struggles. (Thankfully she's leaving. She was promoted.)


I admit, some of Kylie's call ins have been convenient for her, and sometimes, I'm suspicious that she's making things up. However, she seems genuine and everything she's ever told me has checked out. I know that there's a very harmful stereotype out there that borderlines are selfish and manipulative, and I don't want to buy into it. However, Kylie does seem to have unimaginably horrible luck. Maybe she really does, or maybe she's sometimes embarrassed to say why she called in?


Our co-workers, on the other hand, are all convinced she's, to borrow words from one of them, "a lying little drama queen." The workplace is really getting ugly against her. She's planning to leave, and I told her I think that would be good for her. She needs to have another job lined up first, though, so I don't know how long she'll have to stay.


One of my questions is, do you think Kylie is always being genuine when she calls in sick? I honestly don't mind if she's not exactly telling the truth. Maybe it's an emotional truth, even if it's not exactly a literal one? I just want to know. Also, how do I help and be supportive of Kylie, and how do I help my co-workers to be more sympathetic towards her?


Sorry this post is so long. I just really feel bad for her and want to help her somehow. This situation is ugly, and no matter what, she doesn't deserve to be treated the way she has been. She reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger (she's 10 years younger than I am, only 18.), and I know how much at that age, I wish someone had been there for me, so I'm trying to be there for her. I just wish I could make everyone else understand.


Thank you for any advice anyone can give me.
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