Job rejections, a toxic work environment and lowered self esteem

I am in a really bad spot in my life, job-wise.

I am in an unhealthy work environment, and I've been there for a total of 2.5 years.

They laid me off over a year ago, then rehired me again back in April. I said yes because I had no other options in front of me, and I was in a far worse nightmare job I needed to escape from.

When I first came back to my new/old job, I had a male boss, and he was a good boss in several ways. But then he quickly left and was replaced by a mean, surly bullying boss. In the first week, she was chastising a couple of us by email, ccing the VP of the company. That's how she operates.

On top of this, three people have left my department for another job. There are only 2 of us left to carry the brunt of all the work meant for 4-5 people.

So now my work environment has become increasingly unhealthy for me due to my boss and work overload. And my new boss already doesn't like me because I push back and set limits.

But the clincher here is that I now have been rejected by four different companies in a row. I have been interviewing a lot lately trying to leave, I am typically making it to the final rounds, and then I get rejected in the final round.

So my self esteem is very low at this point and I am suffering immensely under the weight of all of the above.

Our company CEO held a company meeting yesterday and was asking us how we can become more efficient. I spoke up and said I am spending too much time responding to client requests and demands that extend beyond our contracts. I sounded exasperated when I spoke up, and I was.

Bottom line: I don't know how to carry on. I am at my wits end, but I must keep trying to apply for jobs - SOMEHOW.... but I don't feel I have the strength to keep trying.

I cannot quit outright because I must be able to afford my rent and bills, but believe me, I've thought about it.

I've also thought about taking out a bank loan and trying to branch out on my own. My husband is discouraging this. He thinks I shouldn't take such a big risk and doesn't want me to quit my job without something else that is solid to replace it. And I believe he's actually right. I could go far deeper into debt, and that's the LAST thing I need on my plate. That would bring only just more stress. .

I cannot take another job rejection - I don't understand what is happening. I mean, I am skilled and I am accomplished. WHY am I continuously getting rejected in the final rounds? It sure beats down my self esteem.

I guess what I am saying is I don't know if I can survive this. I feel I don't have the strength anymore to continue on.