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Default Jan 23, 2022 at 07:57 AM
  #161
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post

I’d now focus on starting a new job in a positive mood and forget about this. Maybe just be extra productive next two weeks and leave them with good impression
Exactly what I will do - finish up well, and leave them with some positive feelings.

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Default Jan 23, 2022 at 07:58 AM
  #162
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Hey @HaveHope you did way better than I would’ve. First of all he took you off guard with a call and hammered you with rapid fire questions about your work there
Then he invalidated you and turned
It into “pick on hope time “ I would have talked too much as well but once
The criticism began this is how
I would have proceeded: “ as I mentioned in my letter thanks for all the opportunities to work on projects that helped my personal growth. But this conversation is not helpful. It sounds a lot like blame, shame and playing a game. We’ve talked enough about what was and I don’t need your input or permission to feel good about being hired for a better position because I have the skills they were looking for. I will be expecting a reference letter that is truthful and accurate and positive before my two weeks are up. If you can’t do that please tell me so I can pick somebody else who will honestly assess my qualities as a personal reference. Now if you don’t mind “F**k you f**k off and go f**k yourself “. But that’s me.

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@sarahsweets, lol... your post made me laugh. I SO wish I could say these things.

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Default Jan 23, 2022 at 08:00 AM
  #163
The thing is, I couldn't plan for what I would say to the CEO because it all happened so quickly, and I wanted to give my notice on that same day. I practically couldn't help myself - before I knew it, I was telling him I was burnt out. But what's wrong with that, anyways? It's the truth!

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Default Jan 23, 2022 at 09:25 AM
  #164
Congratulations on getting the job. Onward and upward!
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Default Jan 23, 2022 at 09:32 AM
  #165
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Congratulations on getting the job. Onward and upward!
@Molinit, thanks so much.

It's been a LONG HAUL.

I really struggled to obtain this one, after months and months of interviewing. I almost feel like I have post traumatic stress from it all.

And yes, onward and upward!

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Default Jan 24, 2022 at 07:26 AM
  #166
Getting out of and finishing up at this most toxic work environment is stressing me out to no end. I have far too many clients, far too much work to deliver, and my company is also going to make me write up a transition document for every single client of mine, which is 8 clients, on top of all the work I have to do. I really don't want to work overtime hours, into the evening or on the weekends, but if I want a positive reference, I will have to do it.

I am super resentful right now and I absolutely hate them. I hate what they've done to me, I hate how the CEO reacted to my leaving, and I hate everything about this place. I am SO done there.

I do feel like I have some PTSD as a result of both my interviewing experience this go around, and as a result of my company. I am beaten up.

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Default Jan 24, 2022 at 09:44 AM
  #167
I would write the transition documents as my first priority and then as time allows, work on what I can in the time I have left. I think even if you finish every scrap of work and write fantastic transition documents, this company may not give the glowing review you are seeking (mainly getting that from the phone conversation you had), so please don't knock yourself out. You will be even more upset when you kill yourself doing it all and they still refuse to provide a letter of recommendation.

Also - regarding the phone conversation. In the future if this ever happens to you again, tell the caller they caught you in the middle of something and you'll need to call them back, then consider what to say and return the call. While they seemed to be asking why you were leaving, they didn't really want to know the truth. Be vague, mention needing a change, better opportunity came along, whatever.
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Default Jan 25, 2022 at 06:46 AM
  #168
I really don't think it was as bad as some people think - it's not like I told him off or said he's running the company terribly, and this is what's wrong. He told me he already is aware of the issues in my department. The telltale sign will be if he unfriends me on Facebook - yes, he friended me when I was re-hired, and I felt obligated to accept the request.

My VP said "no biggie" to me in response to my reasons for leaving. He told me he had spoken to our CEO on Friday, and "no biggie".

I have to follow a protocol and meet deadlines for my work, so I cannot put any work aside. So I will have to work this weekend to get the transition documents done.

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Default Jan 25, 2022 at 07:10 AM
  #169
Now, someone who WON'T be able to get a good reference from my CEO is my co-worker who also is leaving by the end of this week. She went against the CEO's instructions when she gave her notice. His instructions were to not inform any clients or colleagues, which she went ahead and did, against his wishes because she felt it was the right thing to do to make it a seamless transition. He called her and berated her on the phone yesterday for a half an hour about how she is messing with his reputation as a business owner and how that could harm his company. She didn't seem to care. She told me that she has plenty of references, and basically, that my CEO (and his company) can go screw themselves. She is beyond fed up.

Now, I have not done anything against his wishes and I only told him that my department needs help, which he already knew. He wrote me yesterday telling me not to tell anyone I am leaving, and that they must come up with a plan first before telling anyone. So I will keep my mouth shut for as long as they want me to.

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Arrow Jan 26, 2022 at 06:57 AM
  #170
WOW - just WOW. So, my CEO sent a company-wide email, announcing that my account manager and myself are leaving the company. This account manager is the one he chewed out on the phone the day before, who had gone against his wishes and instructions to not tell clients and staff she was leaving.

Well, get this. In this email announcement, he wrote a few kind words about me within one sentence, yet he wrote several sentences praising the account manager. I am really offended..... I spent nearly 3 years in the company and worked very hard. All he acknowledged was that I had been back with the company for less than one year and that I had added value to the team and for my clients. He didn't even pay heed to the fact that my entire tenure was nearly 3 years, and that in that timeframe, I had achieved a LOT and had developed some great client relationships. NOTHING. And here he was, praising the account manager instead? Who had pissed him off?!?

On top of this, there is a tool my team needs to do a portion of their work. I gave my case for it yesterday to the CEO, at the end of which he said he still doesn't see the value in it and then got off the phone quickly to run to another meeting.

I feel like a big fat failure all around right now. I am not leaving this company feeling GOOD, like I should be - I should be feeling good that I spent 3 years working really hard, developing client relationships, retaining important clients, and achieving the successes I was able to achieve, given the challenges presented.

But noo.... I am left feeling like total CRAP - what a great way to walk into a new job!

I am completely pissed off and beyond fed up with my company and CEO.

My therapist last night said, well, the CEO's words only just emphasize to you why you are leaving. YES. TRUE.

But still, we need this tool very badly to do our work, and the CEO says he doesn't see the value? The freaking CEO who RUNS the company doesn't even understand my field whatsoever, yet he runs the company and sells these services to clients without even understanding the work that is involved????? And therein, lies the entire problem and WHY the company is sinking like a flaming ship on the open sea and why employees are leaving in droves!

And to give me only a FEW kind words, and that's all????????

To boot, another account manager arranged for a goodbye employee Zoom lunch for the two of us who are leaving. I have NO desire to attend, feeling the way I feel. I want to slink away quietly. What do I say to these people? WOW, am I happy to be leaving this F'ing place - what a DISASTER and BEST OF LUCK to all of you!!!! LOL. I have NO clue how to handle this goodbye lunch. UGH.

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Default Jan 26, 2022 at 07:55 AM
  #171
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Default Jan 26, 2022 at 10:34 AM
  #172
The reason I said not to knock yourself out on the work needing to be done is exactly what happened. The recommendation you seek on leaving was going to be mediocre/lukewarm and so will any recommendation letter. It will be complimentary but won't talk about your great work ethic and effort you've put in over your time with the company. It's because you gave well-meaning advice that they didn't want to hear.

It just seemed to me like that was how it was going to go. So again, if you want to work overtime and put forth all that effort and deplete yourself because you feel it's the right thing to do, great. But you are probably going to get a favorable, if lukewarm, recommendation whether you kill yourself doing the work or not. I'm a person who will not put energy into a sinking ship, so my personal choice would be to preserve my energy for my fresh start in a new company and just do an adequate job on the things needing to be done at the present one utilizing the time I have left (without spending extra time outside business hours).
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Default Jan 26, 2022 at 05:52 PM
  #173
Thanks for your perspective, @Molinit. I am working enough to get done what needs to get done without killing myself.

I already have a written glowing reference from my CEO on my LinkedIn profile, so there's that which already exists. So, there's that.

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Default Jan 26, 2022 at 07:00 PM
  #174
On the plus side, I am very enthused about my new job! The CEO is a FEMALE, she is a philanthropist and gives a percentage of company profits to charity, and she gives two pald days off for employees to volunteer, if they want to. She hires only good people she says and asked me about my ethics. She wants ethical, decent, hard working, moral people on her staff - and, I said I am IN! I told her of my prior social work experience and education, and how I had worked in mental health for a while... and about how I like to and prefer to be able to give something back to society. We had a good conversation, I felt. And I had a good conversation with each person I met along the interview process. All positives. So, I am very happy and thrilled this all came together... finally!

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Default Jan 27, 2022 at 07:16 AM
  #175
This is so great to hear! Congratulations! I am really happy for you!
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Default Jan 27, 2022 at 07:18 AM
  #176
Each day in my current job is just downright PAINFUL.

I pleaded our case to get my CEO to "buy into" purchasing a tool for my team - it didn't work, and so now I have to do this work manually, which is really inefficient and ineffective, in the end.

I told a more senior level manager on my team that he will need to take the reigns on this with the CEO.

Then, when I asked our IT support person to set up certain mailboxes for me in my email so that I can do this work manually and fulfill the remainder of my job responsibilities, she pushed back on me, then went above me to my boss about it (the VP).

So I told the VP I am getting frustrated by all the hurdles and obstacles in the way of my doing my job. He told the IT support person to push the project through for me.

I have 7 days of work left there. I wish it was 1 day. I wish today were my last day. I am just SO DONE with this place and their backwards way of running things.

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Default Jan 29, 2022 at 07:58 AM
  #177
WOW - once again, I am floored and stunned by how immature and unprofessional my CEO is - how should I sill be surprised? I shouldn't be so, given his past behaviors, but I am STUNNED.

So, yesterday late in the day, somewhat on a whim, I decided to reach out to my CEO. I wrote something along the lines of "I found this old photo of my team, and I want you to know that I will miss this place and everyone here. I also want to apologize for being short in my resignation letter. They gave me the offer late Fri afternoon, they wanted me to start ASAP and in two weeks, so I had to give my notice quickly. I realized after the fact that my letter to you was a bit short, so I do apologize."

And what did I receive in reply?

He tells me "you have no clue what this position could look like in the future, and you have no clue what leadership would have been put in place. You went to that other company before for monetary reasons, and you hated it. And now you're going for another position for money. You told me when you came back on board with us that you wanted to be with us for a long time. Wish we could have talked before you decided to quit. It is what it is though."

Something along those lines. I felt attacked, criticized, misjudged and completely misunderstood after that.

So, I wrote back and defended myself. I told him many things, including the fact that I had worked very hard in his company for nearly 3 years. That I've had 4 different bosses, and that role has been a revolving door - how my team has been overhauled 3 different times, and how the turnover within my department got to me finally and made me very discouraged. I said that when I came back on board, I was very hopeful and did want to stay a long time. But then my new boss left, then two team members left, then a third team member left, then we got that mean biotch of a boss for 2-3 months, life was miserable, and that after all of that, I decided I should look around - the turnover and the lack of learning became problematic for me. Then this opportunity came up, with more money, attractive responsibilities and a steady and strong leadership team, and I couldn't pass itup.

I ended by telling him, so, I do mean it when I say I will miss people here. And, I have grown here and appreciate the opportunities I've been given.

He did not reply to that last response of mine, but he gave it a "like".

What do people make of all of that? I know I didn't need to defend myself, but I felt attacked and it put me on the defensive. So, I felt the need and desire to defend myself, even though I see that he's the one who went on the attack.

I'm just soo taken aback by his lack of maturity in the matter and by how manipulative he really is.

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Last edited by Have Hope; Jan 29, 2022 at 09:43 AM..
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Default Jan 29, 2022 at 09:30 AM
  #178
I wish that instead of getting defensive of my position, that I could have just validated his feelings better - like, why couldn't I have said, "I understand how you feel. I am disappointed myself and had hoped this would have worked out better".

Something like that????

Did I just make things worse by the way that I then reacted to HIM?

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Default Jan 29, 2022 at 10:48 AM
  #179
He must have selective memory. You were let go from his company. You were unemployed for pretty long time after that. You then found a job. That job didn’t work out. Then they offered you job at this company again.

He made it sound that you quit the first time to pursue better pay. That’s just not what happened. I’d probably write to him that you never left to pursue more money. You were fired (laid off or whatever they called it) and you had no job, you took a job somewhere else because you had to have a job!

What happened then is not even remotely what’s happening now. He is an idiot.

He might be theoretically right that you don’t know how that other company will work out. But one never knows how jobs would work out. There’s no reason for him to repeat some trivial common sense. Every time people switch jobs, they take risks. So what. He is a weirdo.
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Default Jan 29, 2022 at 12:30 PM
  #180
Very true. He does act as though he's forgotten that he also laid me off at one point, which hurt me and which caused me to be unemployed for 6 months. Then yeah, I didn't take the next job for money, I took it because I had to and it was a job offer. And yeah, it happened to have more money involved. He makes everything about money, when it hasn't been.

And, I still haven't forgiven him for telling me "you have no confidence in yourself, in me or in anyone in this company." How hurtful is that to say to someone whom you supposedly care about? He claims that we've had a "friendship", so is that how you treat your so-called friend? Through hurtful words? And as an employer, how damaging can that be to someone who is very sensitive and who takes many things said to heart? Especially harsh criticisms? That was really harsh, and I feel he's being once again, harsh with me. I feel like I am dealing with a punitive father figure in a way since he's older and is in a position of authority over me. But really, he's only 5 years older than me - not much. But his position of power is far greater. He has the power to fire me.

Anyways, I haven't forgiven him, and this latest spew of poison from him? I have to let it fall off my shoulders and slide off of me..... I don't want his dark negativity tainting me for my next job. I have too much at stake and I want this next job to work out well. I want to feel positive going into it.

I didn't mean to write so much in reply, but there's so much pouring out of me right now over this because I'm still so angry and bitter about his responses. I have to let it go and swim in my victory and sense of achievement in finally landing a job.

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