advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 22, 2021 at 06:22 AM
  #1
I am in a really bad spot in my life, job-wise.

I am in an unhealthy work environment, and I've been there for a total of 2.5 years.

They laid me off over a year ago, then rehired me again back in April. I said yes because I had no other options in front of me, and I was in a far worse nightmare job I needed to escape from.

When I first came back to my new/old job, I had a male boss, and he was a good boss in several ways. But then he quickly left and was replaced by a mean, surly bullying boss. In the first week, she was chastising a couple of us by email, ccing the VP of the company. That's how she operates.

On top of this, three people have left my department for another job. There are only 2 of us left to carry the brunt of all the work meant for 4-5 people.

So now my work environment has become increasingly unhealthy for me due to my boss and work overload. And my new boss already doesn't like me because I push back and set limits.

But the clincher here is that I now have been rejected by four different companies in a row. I have been interviewing a lot lately trying to leave, I am typically making it to the final rounds, and then I get rejected in the final round.

So my self esteem is very low at this point and I am suffering immensely under the weight of all of the above.

Our company CEO held a company meeting yesterday and was asking us how we can become more efficient. I spoke up and said I am spending too much time responding to client requests and demands that extend beyond our contracts. I sounded exasperated when I spoke up, and I was.

Bottom line: I don't know how to carry on. I am at my wits end, but I must keep trying to apply for jobs - SOMEHOW.... but I don't feel I have the strength to keep trying.

I cannot quit outright because I must be able to afford my rent and bills, but believe me, I've thought about it.

I've also thought about taking out a bank loan and trying to branch out on my own. My husband is discouraging this. He thinks I shouldn't take such a big risk and doesn't want me to quit my job without something else that is solid to replace it. And I believe he's actually right. I could go far deeper into debt, and that's the LAST thing I need on my plate. That would bring only just more stress. .

I cannot take another job rejection - I don't understand what is happening. I mean, I am skilled and I am accomplished. WHY am I continuously getting rejected in the final rounds? It sure beats down my self esteem.

I guess what I am saying is I don't know if I can survive this. I feel I don't have the strength anymore to continue on.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Molinit, Pinny
 
Thanks for this!
Molinit

advertisement
Broken Old Man
Member
Broken Old Man has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2021
Location: Colorado
Posts: 68
2 yr Member
Default Oct 22, 2021 at 08:24 AM
  #2
Have Hope,
I'm sorry you find yourself in this position.
Finding a good healthy work/life balance is important and sometimes quite difficult.
My advise is to keep trying to find a new job.
Just because you were rejected doesn't necessarily reflect poorly on you.
I've run many hiring panels in my career. I assure you, every hiring official has some hidden agenda they are trying to fill. I know I did.
That said, it is not always about you when you are rejected. It could be that there is a team environment that the new hire must fit into.
It could be some form of bias on the part of the hiring official...we all have biases.
It could be simply that others had skills/qualifications that you do not have.

Job rejection happens to all of us.
Over the last couple years I applied to Grand Canyon University at least a half a dozen times for a Grad school Adjunct position,
On each occasion, I was turned down...most times didn't even receive acknowledgement that I had even applied. Just no response,
But I kept applying.
Finally, about a year ago, I received a reply.
They called and wanted to set up what they called an Interview for a position to Teach MGMT 605.
It was a telephonic interview--or so they called it--in actuality, they had already decided to hire me and just called to confirm I wanted the job.

My point is that we can't always take rejection, whether it is with a job or a relationship or just life in general as personal.

Keep trying,

Have Hope,

BOM
Broken Old Man is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope, Xilee
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
Molinit
Grand Member
Molinit has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 838
8 yr Member
84 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 22, 2021 at 08:47 AM
  #3
I'm going to pray for you to get the next position you apply for. I don't know what else to do. I hope @seesaw sees this, I know she was in a similar position and she went out on her own just like you're talking about. Maybe she can offer an opinion!
Molinit is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 22, 2021 at 11:41 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Broken Old Man View Post
Have Hope,
I'm sorry you find yourself in this position.
Finding a good healthy work/life balance is important and sometimes quite difficult.
My advise is to keep trying to find a new job.
Just because you were rejected doesn't necessarily reflect poorly on you.
I've run many hiring panels in my career. I assure you, every hiring official has some hidden agenda they are trying to fill. I know I did.
That said, it is not always about you when you are rejected. It could be that there is a team environment that the new hire must fit into.
It could be some form of bias on the part of the hiring official...we all have biases.
It could be simply that others had skills/qualifications that you do not have.

Job rejection happens to all of us.
Over the last couple years I applied to Grand Canyon University at least a half a dozen times for a Grad school Adjunct position,
On each occasion, I was turned down...most times didn't even receive acknowledgement that I had even applied. Just no response,
But I kept applying.
Finally, about a year ago, I received a reply.
They called and wanted to set up what they called an Interview for a position to Teach MGMT 605.
It was a telephonic interview--or so they called it--in actuality, they had already decided to hire me and just called to confirm I wanted the job.

My point is that we can't always take rejection, whether it is with a job or a relationship or just life in general as personal.

Keep trying,

Have Hope,

BOM
Thank you @Broken Old Man. I really appreciate your story and encouragement! It's inspiring.

I know I have to keep trying. But it's an endurance test for certain, and it's wearing on me like mad. I feel I am being tested by a higher power. I really do.

I was contacted by a new company today, which gave me hope again.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 22, 2021 at 11:42 AM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Molinit View Post
I'm going to pray for you to get the next position you apply for. I don't know what else to do.
@Molinit, thank you so much for your prayer!!!!

I was contacted by a totally new company this morning, as I mentioned above. It gave me an ounce of hope..... and then of course, I thought to myself: what if I am rejected YET AGAIN?!? I have got to hold onto hope though. I just have to - and yes, I am praying too!!!!

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Molinit
Aviza
Magnate
 
Aviza's Avatar
Aviza Calm
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
10 yr Member
86 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 22, 2021 at 08:55 PM
  #6
I too am facing numerous rejections and offers from jobs that turn out not worth taking. so I'm still at a job that isn't the best for me. my advice take a break from the job search, focus on being a good employee at your current job. I mean let the job search leave your brain for a couple weeks. than go back with fresh eyes.

just advice take it or leave it. but breaks have really been helping me. I too have days I just want to quit. but I also have days I find good things about my current job, things I like.

I think your desperation may be showing through to the potential employees. or how frazzled you are or something. deep breathes, meditate, come up with a ideal job list, let the universe deliver, than know nothing is perfect. practice gratitude.

__________________
Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P.
Daughter: 20
Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs.
Aviza is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope, Molinit
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 23, 2021 at 06:01 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aviza View Post
I too am facing numerous rejections and offers from jobs that turn out not worth taking. so I'm still at a job that isn't the best for me. my advice take a break from the job search, focus on being a good employee at your current job. I mean let the job search leave your brain for a couple weeks. than go back with fresh eyes.

just advice take it or leave it. but breaks have really been helping me. I too have days I just want to quit. but I also have days I find good things about my current job, things I like.

I think your desperation may be showing through to the potential employees. or how frazzled you are or something. deep breathes, meditate, come up with a ideal job list, let the universe deliver, than know nothing is perfect. practice gratitude.
Thanks dear, @Aviza.

Job searching is exhausting and most difficult isn't it?!? I am sorry you are facing this yourself.

I'm afraid that if I take a break and focus on my current job that my mental health will seriously downward spiral. My new boss is a complete witch, and therefore, I must get away as soon as possible. Even though I've faced many rejections, I feel I must keep trying without a break, though I do in theory love your suggestion.

I don't know if my desperation shows through. I try instead to express enthusiasm and strong interest.

I do try to practice gratitude - and I listen to meditative videos frequently. It helps. I don't know what my perfect position actually looks like - I know what the ideal culture would look like - a healthy one! lol.

I will take a mental break this weekend at least - I need it.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 26, 2021 at 06:42 AM
  #8
I have no better plan than I did before, after seeing my therapist. We're now down to 2 people in my department, to carry the work of 4 people. We're really down to 1.5 people because my colleague can't get on client calls and he can barely write client reports.

My therapist says I should just start calling in sick until they possibly decide to let me go.

What do I do? Take out a large bank loan and outright quit to save myself and my sanity, or do I start calling in sick all the time, like my therapist suggests? I am on the brink of getting a loan so that I can just up and leave, but I don't want to ruin my reference at the same time. But I cannot stay there any longer either. I am seriously having SI all the time now.

I need help.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 Tired!!!
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,303 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,274 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 26, 2021 at 07:55 PM
  #9
This is a weird suggestion. Just wait till they fire you? What’s this about? Maybe take medical leave for few weeks and look for a job aggressively or at the very least get doctor note for few days. What’s good about just calling sick and waiting to be fired?

I don’t think you can get business loan without solid business plan. Banks won’t give large loans easily. Do you have a plan? What happened with a personal loan you took? Did you pay it back?

I’d ask financial advisor what’s best, career counselor, your psychiatrist? Your therapist seems to have weird ideas. What does your husband say? Besides weird “best of luck” like it doesn’t even concern him.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 27, 2021 at 06:04 AM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
This is a weird suggestion. Just wait till they fire you? What’s this about? Maybe take medical leave for few weeks and look for a job aggressively or at the very least get doctor note for few days. What’s good about just calling sick and waiting to be fired?

I don’t think you can get business loan without solid business plan. Banks won’t give large loans easily. Do you have a plan? What happened with a personal loan you took? Did you pay it back?

I’d ask financial advisor what’s best, career counselor, your psychiatrist? Your therapist seems to have weird ideas. What does your husband say? Besides weird “best of luck” like it doesn’t even concern him.
My company doesn't offer paid medical leave, so that's not a possibility. There's no short-term disability insurance and there's no paid leave of absence.

I did pay back all of the first personal loan I took out. This would be a second and separate personal loan I would take out. I am eligible and it's easy enough to obtain one.

I agree that my therapist's suggestion is odd, and it does not resonate for me. I don't want to make myself get fired, and calling in sick all the time will simply just piss off my company and CEO. I don't wish to pursue that idea, and overall, I think it's a bad idea. I am not sure how good my therapist really is.

My husband thinks I should stick it out as long as I possibly can and until I have another job. And I know he's right in that it's the better avenue. When I explained to him that my mental health comes first and that I have seriously deteriorated, he seemed to understand the level of desperation I feel.

I did speak with my CEO last night who told me 3 job offers will go out this week and that hopefully, we will have additional team members coming on board. This gave me an incredible sense of relief.

IF 2-3 team members come on board in the next 2 weeks, I only have to get through 2 more weeks of hell. Then it won't be as desperate for me and I can take my time to interview and find the right company.

I have two interviews this week, one today. So there's that.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 09, 2021 at 06:49 AM
  #11
I had three interviews yesterday back-to-back and I don't think they went all that great. I just cancelled an interview I had scheduled for today, that really was too much of a reach, so I backed out.

In the meantime, the toxic work environment has seeped into my entire being. It ruined my whole weekend, stressing about work and issues with my boss.

Then yesterday, I barely was able to complete a task I was asked to do by my boss, with a 1-day turnaround. I told her I had done the best I could with it and said maybe give it to the new strategists who may be able to do a better job than me.

I am SO burnt out there. I am trying to interview, but it's impossible. I am starting to have SI again. I feel completely stuck and hopeless - as though things will never change and I will be stuck in this miserable God forsaken environment forever.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes

Last edited by Have Hope; Nov 09, 2021 at 08:00 AM..
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Bill3, Molinit
Bill3
Legendary
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,923
15 yr Member
24.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 09, 2021 at 09:29 AM
  #12
I'm really sorry to hear.

Bill3 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope, Molinit
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 09, 2021 at 06:55 PM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
I'm really sorry to hear.

@Bill3 thank you!

To my big surprise, they called me today and said I had very positive feedback from my 3 interviews yesterday and they want one final round with me! YAY! I have an exercise to do for this final round, and I have to present it in this last meeting. Wow - craziness, but I am very happy about this great news!

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Bill3, Molinit
 
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Molinit
Bill3
Legendary
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,923
15 yr Member
24.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 09, 2021 at 07:25 PM
  #14
Hurrah! Congratulations!



What an emotional roller coaster!!
Bill3 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope, Molinit
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 09, 2021 at 07:48 PM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
Hurrah! Congratulations!



What an emotional roller coaster!!
Thanks!!! And YES.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Molinit
Bill3
Legendary
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,923
15 yr Member
24.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 09, 2021 at 08:10 PM
  #16
Good luck in the final round!!
Bill3 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope, Molinit
Molinit
Grand Member
Molinit has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 838
8 yr Member
84 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 10, 2021 at 09:24 AM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
@Bill3 thank you!

To my big surprise, they called me today and said I had very positive feedback from my 3 interviews yesterday and they want one final round with me! YAY! I have an exercise to do for this final round, and I have to present it in this last meeting. Wow - craziness, but I am very happy about this great news!
This is awesome news. Good vibes coming your way!
Molinit is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Have Hope
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 10, 2021 at 12:11 PM
  #18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Molinit View Post
This is awesome news. Good vibes coming your way!
@Molinit, THANKS! And maybe your prayer has worked!!! Let's hope so!

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Molinit
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 12, 2021 at 07:58 AM
  #19
The company I am interviewing with gave me an exercise to do that I must present involving providing two website recommendations for the site's content. They gave me an enormous spreadsheet of data to work with, so at first when I looked at the spreadsheet, I was like, I can't do this. I must cancel the interview. Then, when I dug into the data to try and understand it, I realized I CAN understand it and dissect it in order to do the task.

This just goes to show how much my confidence has been shot over the years, and I believe due to bullying and abusive bosses. I usually CAN figure out complex tasks IF I put my mind and effort into it. which I have proven to myself many times over. It makes me angry that these abusive bosses have effected my self esteem.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Bill3, Molinit
 
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Molinit
Bill3
Legendary
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,923
15 yr Member
24.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 12, 2021 at 08:54 AM
  #20
You can do it!

Bill3 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:22 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.