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mulan
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Default Oct 30, 2021 at 11:14 AM
  #1
I have a psicopath work colleague who happened to have a lymphoma some years ago and uses ir to gather simpathy.
She is without a Shadow of doubt the worst person I have ever dealt with.
As I entered the company at the same time as her She decided I was going to be her competition.
Whenever she cant She throughs me under the bus. Talk about me behiond my back and makes up histories where I am the vilian or the socialy akward people, everything so that people dont like me more than her . She verbably abuses me, she uses her past disabilities to make demands, like I am going on leave if you dont do this job I was suppose to do. But other colleagues dont ser this side of her. They only see her as the sick woman with a dark humor and a lot of confidence, and its atract them.
I wanted to do some line of work, I ask the bosses and I got it, meanwhile, because of that the bosses ask her if She wanted to do the same thing and She Said no because She doesnt like extra work. When She found out I was doing it because I like it and She was doing something else She wasnt particulary fund of (and that She wanted to pass on me but couldnt because I was already doing this job) She convinced the boss that She would Share my work with me and it would count as extra work so that I could also do the job She didnt want to do. Her argument was that I ask for the job and if I ask for it it wasnt really necessary work. And more much more.
But I cant unmask this evil person.

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Default Oct 30, 2021 at 04:25 PM
  #2
I am so sorry that you are being bullied at work! I have some experience being bullied at work too, sadly. Wish I knew what to say that would help.
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Lightbulb Oct 31, 2021 at 08:56 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by mulan View Post
I have a psicopath work colleague who happened to have a lymphoma some years ago and uses ir to gather simpathy.
She is without a Shadow of doubt the worst person I have ever dealt with.
As I entered the company at the same time as her She decided I was going to be her competition.
Whenever she cant She throughs me under the bus. Talk about me behiond my back and makes up histories where I am the vilian or the socialy akward people, everything so that people dont like me more than her . She verbably abuses me, she uses her past disabilities to make demands, like I am going on leave if you dont do this job I was suppose to do. But other colleagues dont ser this side of her. They only see her as the sick woman with a dark humor and a lot of confidence, and its atract them.
I wanted to do some line of work, I ask the bosses and I got it, meanwhile, because of that the bosses ask her if She wanted to do the same thing and She Said no because She doesnt like extra work. When She found out I was doing it because I like it and She was doing something else She wasnt particulary fund of (and that She wanted to pass on me but couldnt because I was already doing this job) She convinced the boss that She would Share my work with me and it would count as extra work so that I could also do the job She didnt want to do. Her argument was that I ask for the job and if I ask for it it wasnt really necessary work. And more much more.
But I cant unmask this evil person.
You could meet with your immediate supervisor/boss and/or human resources to report the following:

1. It's unprofessional for someone to use certain phrases that appear harassing or demeaning, or to accuse you of being some sort of competition with her. If you have a list of times, dates, and people she has spread rumors to, and how you heard about it, then present that list to your boss or human resources, or both. It creates a toxic and harassing work environment that you don't deserve, for whatever reason. Hopefully the reasons aren't discriminatory or out of spite because you are trying to do your best on the job, even if you add more work responsibilities.

2. You have every right to put forth your best effort whilst also maintaining your normal work duties. Putting forth the initiative to demonstrate your love for the job and your willingness to grow within the company is a good thing, even if your coworkers are jealous. Sometimes the job requires you to get along with your coworkers, and to perhaps see if they are okay with your adding on responsibilities - whether they want to help out or not. Including some of your coworkers to excel with you might boost morale and help you to get along better with your coworkers, especially if you are new there.

3. Additionally, if someone is continuously mentioning their disability or their past issues to gain sympathy, as you said, that would appear to be manipulative and unprofessional. You could report that, too.

4. If you don't feel comfortable going to your boss or human resources now, at least keep a journal of times, dates, and people you notice at work doing something unprofessional, unethical, against company rules, or harassing toward you. Over time, that list could be used as evidence to support any claims you bring forth to your boss or human resources. It could also backfire to where they try to file a claim with your boss or human resources before you, so you might be in the defensive seat. Either way, make sure you have a list and some proof of what has transpired. That will save you and help you, for the most part.

5. If your company offers a confidential mental health line, use it! They can be a great resource for you.

6. If you have a private therapist and/or job coach, ask them for assistance as well. If you don't, try to find one you can afford. If you can't afford a therapist or job coach, try finding supportive systems, and many of them, like a trusted family member, a close friend or two, and/or a mentor. Such persons will need to be OUTSIDE and UNAFFILIATED with your work situation (meaning, don't get a coworker to be your friend or mentor in this; find someone completely unattached to this for guidance, support, and advice).

7. Keep doing a good job, and make sure you write a list of all your work duties - things that are required of you, and things that you go above and beyond for the company. Keep trying to improve, and keep a focus on your goals - which may not include your mean coworkers. Do your best, regardless of what others accuse you of, say about you or to you, etc. You sound like a hard worker, a dedicated worker, a loyal worker, and someone who just wants to move forward in life. Too bad your coworkers aren't helpful and cooperative, because then everyone wins. Having a toxic work environment that includes toxic (not healthy) competition means job loss for one or more parties in the future, and/or added mental health conditions and physiological disorders as well. You don't want this to continue for very long, so do what you can to self-care and find resources to help.
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Default Oct 31, 2021 at 10:28 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by SprinkL3 View Post
You could meet with your immediate supervisor/boss and/or human resources to report the following:

1. It's unprofessional for someone to use certain phrases that appear harassing or demeaning, or to accuse you of being some sort of competition with her. If you have a list of times, dates, and people she has spread rumors to, and how you heard about it, then present that list to your boss or human resources, or both. It creates a toxic and harassing work environment that you don't deserve, for whatever reason. Hopefully the reasons aren't discriminatory or out of spite because you are trying to do your best on the job, even if you add more work responsibilities.

2. You have every right to put forth your best effort whilst also maintaining your normal work duties. Putting forth the initiative to demonstrate your love for the job and your willingness to grow within the company is a good thing, even if your coworkers are jealous. Sometimes the job requires you to get along with your coworkers, and to perhaps see if they are okay with your adding on responsibilities - whether they want to help out or not. Including some of your coworkers to excel with you might boost morale and help you to get along better with your coworkers, especially if you are new there.

3. Additionally, if someone is continuously mentioning their disability or their past issues to gain sympathy, as you said, that would appear to be manipulative and unprofessional. You could report that, too.

4. If you don't feel comfortable going to your boss or human resources now, at least keep a journal of times, dates, and people you notice at work doing something unprofessional, unethical, against company rules, or harassing toward you. Over time, that list could be used as evidence to support any claims you bring forth to your boss or human resources. It could also backfire to where they try to file a claim with your boss or human resources before you, so you might be in the defensive seat. Either way, make sure you have a list and some proof of what has transpired. That will save you and help you, for the most part.

5. If your company offers a confidential mental health line, use it! They can be a great resource for you.

6. If you have a private therapist and/or job coach, ask them for assistance as well. If you don't, try to find one you can afford. If you can't afford a therapist or job coach, try finding supportive systems, and many of them, like a trusted family member, a close friend or two, and/or a mentor. Such persons will need to be OUTSIDE and UNAFFILIATED with your work situation (meaning, don't get a coworker to be your friend or mentor in this; find someone completely unattached to this for guidance, support, and advice).

7. Keep doing a good job, and make sure you write a list of all your work duties - things that are required of you, and things that you go above and beyond for the company. Keep trying to improve, and keep a focus on your goals - which may not include your mean coworkers. Do your best, regardless of what others accuse you of, say about you or to you, etc. You sound like a hard worker, a dedicated worker, a loyal worker, and someone who just wants to move forward in life. Too bad your coworkers aren't helpful and cooperative, because then everyone wins. Having a toxic work environment that includes toxic (not healthy) competition means job loss for one or more parties in the future, and/or added mental health conditions and physiological disorders as well. You don't want this to continue for very long, so do what you can to self-care and find resources to help.
Thank you, thank you very much!
Your answear is very helpfull, very praticle. I thank you the thoughfullness you putted on it.
I surely am going to follow some of your advice, they are very good!

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Default Oct 31, 2021 at 10:34 PM
  #5
Mulan,

I'm a bit wordy, so it might be hard to follow all of my advice. But do get a few different opinions as well. If you have family or friends that you trust, seek their help, too.

I hope you are able to get the help you need. I hope your job turns out to be better.
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