advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Dec 25, 2021 at 02:27 PM
  #1
Hi everybody, I like my job okay, for the most part. It’s perfectly tolerable as far as jobs go. I’ve had worse jobs, that’s for sure. I was hired 133 days ago & started working there 105 days ago. I’m still pretty new, but my job is fairly repetitive, so I’ve gotten the gist of it by now. I like to be busy and move around a lot at work, and this fits the bill quite nicely. It is stressful at times, but what isn’t?

So far so good, right? Well. That’s what I thought too.I did notice the coworker in charge of my training was habitually rude to one of our other coworkers, was always on the lookout to point out her mistakes and shortcomings, and wanted to get her fired. Whatever. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I’m new. I’ve got my hands full learning the ropes.

Fast forward to now. The coworker who was the target of my trainer’s ire is out on medical leave, which has made our department short-staffed & subsequently thrown our operations for a bit of a loop. Long story short, my trainer has decided to go after our team lead. The team lead has been accused of harassing her by telling her what to do/what not to do.

Still none of my business? Not so fast! The team lead is no longer allowed to speak to my trainer, which means messages from the team lead to my trainer are relayed through me. Not a place I want to be. Not to mention, I have them both taking turns pulling me off to the side, warning me against the other one. And I’m like, no **** Sherlock.

Chronologically, we are all middle aged women. Emotionally, not so much. My purpose in writing this is to keep a record as well as let off steam. Who knows how this will all play out. We really cannot afford to lose another person for whatever reason, no matter how badly they behave. There is a fear they’ll turn on me as well. I try to stay above the fray, but stuff happens.
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Discombobulated, unaluna, Yaowen

advertisement
Yaowen
Grand Magnate
 
Yaowen's Avatar
Yaowen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
6,475 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 25, 2021 at 04:46 PM
  #2
I am so sorry that is happening. What a dreadful situation. I think keeping a record is a really good idea. I was in a situation like that a long time ago and I kept a voice activated recording device on me at all times. Not sure that is legal in America. I was not in the US of A when I did the recording.

Another possibility is trying to document everything in case things really go south. It sounds like a really unhappy place to be in.

Your expression "not my circus, not my monkeys" is new to me. I like it.

Wish I knew what to say that would help. Hopefully other members here with more experience, knowledge and insight will see your post and respond both kindly and really helpfully to you. I wish you only the very best!
Yaowen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
FloatThruThis
 
Thanks for this!
FloatThruThis
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Dec 26, 2021 at 10:33 AM
  #3
Thank you Yaowen! I’m lucky in that my job tends to be busy, so there’s not a lot of downtime to chit chat. It’s easy to get busy doing something else & expend the nervous energy this situation creates on something productive. I can say to myself “Just do your job.” & that helps me to not get wrapped up in the drama. I’m trying not to demonize my trainer either. The truth is, having written expectations for each person’s role would go a long way in clearing the confusion, & she has asked for that. The trouble is, things change all the time & there are a lot of moving parts that demand flexibility. It’s stressful & people aren’t always respectful. It’s kind of a snowball effect.
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Discombobulated
seesaw
Human
 
seesaw's Avatar
seesaw grieving
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,341 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,262 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 27, 2021 at 07:46 AM
  #4
Who made this rule that the team lead can't talk to the trainer and that they must go through you? That does not seem like something HR would agree with. I'm not big on "going to HR", but this may be a situation where you could "ask for clarification". Your role cannot be to play telephone for two adults who can't get along.

__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
seesaw is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
FloatThruThis
 
Thanks for this!
Discombobulated, FloatThruThis
lovableball
Member
lovableball Trying to be happier :)
 
Member Since: May 2021
Location: Bristol
Posts: 44
2 yr Member
28 hugs
given
Default Dec 27, 2021 at 10:04 AM
  #5
I've shared this before on a different thread, but doesn't hurt to share it again!

":The job we will have will typically be an 8-hour job, meaning more or less that's a third of your day 5-6 days a week! That's a large chunk of your life to be spending on things that do not resonate with.

I recently left a second job for somewhat the same reason. I've been trying to make ends meet, what with the Hybrid set up for work, I'm finding parts of my day being relatively free and I wanted to keep myself occupied. So I hopped onto the remote work train.

The job I applied for was for a SaaS company/marketing agency that did lead generation work for fellow SaaS companies and I was lagging behind heavily. I felt a bit of ageism was happening too since I was a new hire but I was one of the oldest members of the team."


tl;dr: I was suffering in that workplace because I was older than most of the team members.

I always say this–if you have the financial capacity to leave your job (i.e., an income safety net) and you have enough savings to actually go job-hopping–go for it! No one deserves to go through insufferable people, 8 hours a day. We all deserve to do what we love to do
lovableball is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
FloatThruThis
 
Thanks for this!
Discombobulated, FloatThruThis, WovenGalaxy
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Jan 01, 2022 at 10:02 AM
  #6
Hi seesaw & loveableball! Thank you for your feedback; it’s very helpful. Going to HR with a record of what’s happening is a good idea I will keep in mind. Quitting my job is also an option, although I would like to keep this job. I’m in a fortunate position living with family where I do have a safety net if things get bad enough to quit though.

Things have mostly blown over for the time time being. I’m no longer being put in the middle of my coworkers’ drama. The lead has told me if my trainer has questions about anything the lead says, to direct my trainer back to the lead. And my trainer has told me several times she doesn’t want to put me in the middle. So we’ll see...

My trainer will be working in a different location the next few weeks, so it shouldn’t be an issue anyway. We’re already short-staffed though, so I’ll be working 12 hour days. I’m not looking forward to that, but I’ve done it before, so I know it can be done. At least my paycheck will look good, so that’s some consolation.
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Mar 01, 2022 at 12:03 PM
  #7
Hello again. Things are still a little tense at my job. The lead and my trainer are still up to their usual antics. Whatever. The things they fight about are so stupid & petty. I finally got fed up enough to speak my mind to my trainer. She runs to the manager about every little thing our lead does and then our manager says he’ll speak to the lead. So my trainer complains every day about it & I told her the manager can speak to our lead until he’s blue in the face, but until the lead has a change of mind and heart, nothing will change. My trainer didn’t like that.

Then I pressed my trainer about her relationship with the lead. When I first started the job, my trainer & the lead were good friends. I asked her what happened. My trainer admitted she told the lead she wouldn’t “babysit” our other coworker (who is now out on medical leave). The lead had confided in me before that my trainer had “come at her” (like to physically fight) & the lead told her she couldn’t talk to my trainer when she’s like that & that she needed to calm down. This is why I’m not friends with my coworkers. I’m friendly, but not friends.

I’m annoyed by the both of them at this point, but that’s coworkers for you. I can’t afford to alienate anybody, not that I would want to anyway; I’ve been there less than six months & still depend on their help & guidance. At some point I may talk to the manager & let him know I’m just here to do my job & not get roped into these power struggles between the lead & my trainer. Unfortunately, my trainer did rope me into one of her “meetings” with the manager to back up her complaints against the lead, although I got out as quickly as I could.
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Discombobulated
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Mar 06, 2022 at 08:26 AM
  #8
Hello friends.

Well I really don’t like that I allow my trainer to steal my peace, but stuff happens. I was feeling very agitated after my shift yesterday just from having to interact with her for 5 hours. Of course, this was also after dealing with her all week, so there’s that. I got home to my family & was just ranting & couldn’t calm down. Finally, I drank some chamomile tea & looked at annoying coworker memes & it helped.

But still...

What it (may) boil down to: I just want to be left alone to do my job. That’s my favorite thing. I actually kind of enjoy my job & the tasks it entails. It’s very repetitive, which I find calming. I like to be busy & move around, so that part is perfect for me & my well-being.

I’m also quiet. If I have something to say, I’ll say it, but if I don’t, I’m quiet. Maybe because of this, I sometimes attract talkers. I used to encourage talkers when I was younger & more insecure, but now that I’m middle aged, I want to avoid talkers if at all possible.

My trainer is a talker. Since my trainer & the lead are alienated from each other, that leaves just me to absorb all of the talking, unfortunately. I know this is just my opinion though, and many people find my being quiet just as much or more annoying as someone who never seems to shut up.

I’m afraid I’m going to blow up on her. It’s a pattern of mine to endure the behavior of others until I can’t take it anymore, & then explode, which is not good & not something I want to do. So I’m going to have to use my words and try setting boundaries with my trainer.

UGH! There are worse problems to have.
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Discombobulated
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Mar 13, 2022 at 10:03 AM
  #9
Hi everybody,

This week was better than last week. I resigned myself to the fact my trainer will interact with me more than I like/more than is necessary & it didn’t seem to bug me as much. At one point last week, I was even considering transferring to another office, but this week I bought her breakfast & we ate together. I still don’t fully trust her—she could easily turn on me as she’s turned on our other coworkers. Ok!
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Apr 17, 2022 at 11:50 AM
  #10
Just a quick update. My one coworker is back from medical leave. Things are still tense between my trainer & the lead. Sometimes I feel like the lead is leery of me because I get along well with my trainer & she might think we have some kind of alliance against her, but that’s probably all in my head.

The more important thing I want to write about is that I’ve been volunteered to go to other offices & help & it’s a little terrifying to me, just because it’s the unknown. I was once terrified to open our office by myself & now I really enjoy it. What’s the worst that could happen? At any rate, it will be good to get away from the usual dysfunction & learn something new. But yeah, also terrifying.
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Apr 28, 2022 at 07:05 PM
  #11
Awkward. Today the team lead asked me point blank if my trainer has been talking about her. Yes. Then she asked me if the things my trainer has been saying about her are negative. Yes. She was sad about it.

I feel guilty. I’m sure I haven’t been neutral when my trainer is complaining about the lead behind her back. I also feel tired of being in the middle of the drama. Again. I also feel annoyed at myself for not having more integrity in shutting down the trash talk.

So I’m just going to feel all the feelings until if & when they go away. I’ve had worse feelings! They can’t hurt me.

In others news, I haven’t been sent to other offices (yet), but my trainer told me there’s an opening coming up in a smaller office closer to my house for more pay & benefits. Whatever will be, will be.
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default May 20, 2022 at 06:17 PM
  #12
I thought things were starting to get better between the team lead & my trainer, but my workplace brought in a mediator (again) & the environment is tense (again). My trainer is transferring soon though, so hopefully things will get better? Realistically: some things will improve, some things will worsen, & some things will stay the same.

The interim manager said I’ll have to go back to working 6 days a week to cover shifts. I did it before during our busy season when my one coworker was out on medical leave, so I know I can do it. & then there is the possibility of the position closer to my house at a smaller office I wrote about earlier in this thread opening up. Nothing lasts forever.
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Discombobulated
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Jun 12, 2022 at 10:02 AM
  #13
Update time! My trainer is gone, transferred to her new office. She cried when we said our goodbyes & we hugged several times. Even so, I’m relieved to see her go. Work was rocky the first few days without her there though, as far as our department getting stuff done & doing it in a timely fashion goes. Mondays be like that.

My other coworker, the one that needs babysitting, is really starting to come into her own a little bit though, which is amazing. She’d been there twice as long as I had & still didn’t know how to do the most basic tasks. Now when I see her doing the most basic tasks, I’m pleasantly flabbergasted & proud!

However, it hasn’t been easy. There’s one task I particularly despise. My trainer & I had been taking turns with it lately, but now that she’s gone, I was left holding the bag. So after my trainer was gone, I’d ask my other coworker if she wanted to do it & she’d always said no & that “it’s boring”. Well, that got old with me very quickly. So one day I just told her it’s her turn.

This despised task has a long & checkered history with me. I was employed in this job for one month when I was shown how to do the despised task once. Then, a little over two weeks later, I was told not only was I going to do the despised task by myself, but I was going to do the despised task every day from now on. It didn’t go well at all the first few times I did it, but it eventually became tolerable.

Additionally, our team lead has told me that she “should” be the one doing this despised task due to her status at work, but that she “can’t help herself” from doing the easier morning task that is actually what I was hired to do, just because she’s sooo good at this easier task. Sometimes she’ll screw me over by volunteering to do the despised task & changing her mind or only doing half of it & leaving the rest.

So the first day I told my other coworker she was going to do the despised task, she sloughed it off until our team lead noticed nobody was doing her job for her & rushed over to do it... halfway, asking me to finish it for her. Classic! I was pissed off, but not surprised. It kept me up that night stewing, not that I need help in that regard.

The next day I said to my coworker, “You’re doing the despised task & you’re starting right now.”

(!!!)

You guys, I have zero authority to be telling anyone what to do at my job. As of yesterday, I’ve been there exactly nine months—half the time my coworker has worked there. Not only that, but my coworker is also older than me (if it matters). She would have been well within her rights to tell me to **** off, but she didn’t. She tried to tell me the lead was going to do her job, & I was just like “Nah.”

...& you know what? My coworker not only did the despised task, but she completed the despised task. It did take her an hour to do 30 minutes’ worth of work, but she saw it through & finished it, which is more than I can say for some.

There’s so much more I want to write about work, but this post is already long enough, so it’ll have to wait until some other time. As a coworker in a different department says: “You can’t make this **** up.” Some days/hours/minutes/seconds are better than others, but it’s still the best job I’ve ever had. Scary, right? I’ve had some truly terrible jobs. That’s work for you.
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Jul 03, 2022 at 09:15 AM
  #14
Updates:

1) My coworker that’s been there twice as long as I have & still needs babysitting is now out with covid as of yesterday. Our department that once had four people is now down to two: me & the lead. It’s fitting, because the rest of the departments in our office are also down by half, so we fit right in. I’ve already been working six days a week for 40+ hours & I was supposed to have the 4th off. I took a covid test yesterday & it came out negative. Not gonna lie, a small small part of me wanted to be positive so I could get a break, but I was mostly relieved not to have it. Sorry!

2) The opening at the smaller office closer to where I live for more money & less work volume finally opened up & I applied immediately! Still, my organization is notoriously slow about everything up to & including hiring, so it may be awhile yet to even hear anything, let alone be transferred, if I am so honored. It’s not a shoe-in; anyone with more seniority could sweep in & take it, so: fingers crossed! ...& then if I do get it, hopefully it’s not out of the frying pan & into the fire, but I won’t know until I’m there. It’s early enough though that if I do get it, I’ll be out before the hellscape that is otherwise known as the holiday season at my current office, yippee!

I could write so much more, & maybe I will someday...
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Jul 20, 2022 at 04:15 PM
  #15
A Big Update.

I got the transfer! I’m very grateful. My (tentative) start date at the new office is July 30th.

Let the countdown begin: 9 calendar/8 working days left at my current office.

Thank you everyone who read, commented, gave hugs, & gave thanks on this thread—it helps!
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Jul 30, 2022 at 07:54 PM
  #16
Another big update: my transfer is now in limbo. I’m stuck at my current office for who knows how long. Hopefully not more than a couple more weeks, & even then, it wouldn’t be more than 4.5 working days due to training obligations & a mandatory break in service. I visited my new office yesterday. Ironically my trainer who transferred is subbing there to help cover until my transfer goes all the way through & I’m there for good. I’m ready.
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Aug 07, 2022 at 08:26 AM
  #17
Update time: I’ve heard my start date at the new office is now Saturday, August 13th. I do not get my break in service since I’m getting a promotion, (I was informed yesterday) but they will give me Wednesday off. Which is better than nothing, especially since I’d been getting one day off a week & I have an appointment that day.

The bad news: one more Monday (the worst day) at the old office. Then Thursday I may be closing, followed by opening (4:30 am) the next day. Also, they didn’t pay me for my travel time to the mandatory training I attended this week. What other balls have been dropped since our latest change in management?

The good news: 4 more working days…maybe…then I’m out. I’ll believe it when I see it…
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
seesaw
Human
 
seesaw's Avatar
seesaw grieving
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,341 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,262 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 07, 2022 at 01:58 PM
  #18
I'm so glad this transfer came through for you. You've been holding out for a change to get out of that environment. I hope it happens as scheduled!

__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
seesaw is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
FloatThruThis
 
Thanks for this!
FloatThruThis
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Aug 14, 2022 at 12:57 PM
  #19
Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw View Post
I'm so glad this transfer came through for you. You've been holding out for a change to get out of that environment. I hope it happens as scheduled!
Thank you seesaw! I’m now in my new office as of yesterday & so far, so good. Although I was advised to contact my union representative, as there’s a good chance my old office wasn’t supposed to make me work my break in service. I’ll do that next week…
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
seesaw
FloatThruThis
Poohbah
 
FloatThruThis's Avatar
FloatThruThis Just do the best you can.
 
Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 1,258
2 yr Member
1,859 hugs
given
Default Aug 31, 2022 at 12:24 PM
  #20
I’m feeling aggravated right now. I’m not being paid my new higher wage yet. I’m not being given my new promised benefits yet. My understanding (& what I was told by management & the union) was that these changes were to take effect when my break in service was supposed to happen on August 9th. I wasn’t even in my new office’s computer system until a day or two ago, meaning my new manager had to send my old manager my time to input by hand & I’m not even sure that was done correctly. Everything is so screwed up. Apparently, my new manager is in contact with HR to fix it? Until then, I’m going to have to write down all my time & then compare it to my pay stubs & then make copies of everything to give to my new manager to give to HR? Or something. I hate this. My organization is notorious for being slow, so I need to practice patience, talk to my new manager (yet again) & give my union steward a heads up about it. I’m over it!!!
FloatThruThis is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:37 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.