Negative thinking in new job when faced with new challenges

Things are just so backwards nowadays. People’s well being is so effected by all this and it will have a long last effect on society as a whole, people can’t get care they need. I hope you find someone soon. What a hassle.

I think no matter what you need to apply for disability even if you return to work. Yes it is a long process but since covid they havent been denying as many people like they used to.

I think it’s a good idea plus one can work part time on disability but wouldn’t they want to see that a person sees a psychiatrist (and has a proper diagnosis by a pdoc) and a therapist? Especially if the person has auditory hallucinations.

I have a coworker who applied for her husband and it was denied because he wasn’t under consistent care by a psychiatrist and wasn’t consistently seeing a therapist. He was prescribed meds for depression by his primary doctor but they said it’s not sufficient.

Maybe that varies by state

I really don't know what's going to happen. I just found a pdoc and have an online appt on Thurs. My doctor needs to complete the paperwork in order for me to take an unpaid leave of absence AND to get paid for my leave from the gov't. I may not be able to return to work at all, in which case, I will have to look into the options. My company does provide long term disability insurance, but I need more details about. the eligibility criteria.

And, I cannot even live on disability, if I have to go on it. I mean, I wouldn't be able to make ends meet in that case. I am really worried.

i hope you dont have to go on disability

Thank you, I am praying.

Once again, I am freaked out. My new company is now hiring for the role I currently have, and I don't know if that means they mean to replace me as soon as I return to work. I could be let go as soon as I go back.... which would be OK, I guess, since it's SUCH a challenge for me there.

But then I also heard from the VP of my former company - the messed up, toxic workplace I was recently at. He needed info from me regarding a former client I had there. He asked how the new job is, so I was honest and told him I had to take medical leave for a while, though I did not say why that is and gave no additional details. Well, he never wrote back after that.... so I reached out to a colleague from that company who took over this particular client account for me when I left the company and asked him what's up. He hasn't replied either.

So, I am freaking out that perhaps bridges are being broken and burnt, without my even knowing why or how. I could be paranoid too, since I am having auditory and visual hallucinations right now.

How could things have gone from bad to worse?????? I don't understand this. I have prayed so many times for positive changes in my life, and this is what is happening? I am experiencing dark voices again. I had to take a medical leave of absence from my new job, and the meds I am on don't seem to help ALL that much.

I am beside myself with grief and worry. And my husband is freaked out too, so right now I am scared he will throw in the towel and will give up on us and our marriage because of my current condition. I don't think he would do that, but he's hinted around being fed up with what I am dealing with, in moments of sheer frustration and upset.

I'm really sorry that so many things are so difficult right now.

Thank you @Bill3.

update: I'm still on medical leave from my job. I am working with my pdoc on medications and I've been working with various practitioners to help with the voices I've been hearing. I aim to probably return to my job by April 4th, even if I am still symptomatic. State gov't aid won't be resolved until later in April, which is too late for me. Even if I weren't symptomatic, I cannot do this job. It is over my head, and I am under-qualified. It's like facing a mountain that is too steep and too many miles high to climb or hike and saying to yourself "no way can I do this". That's how I feel about my job.

Maybe that will change miraculously, and I hope it does. But if it doesn't, then likely I will be let go for underperforming, in which case, I can still collect unemployment benefits.

I applied for a different kind of job today, but I doubt I will hear back. I added my current job on my resume, with just the title, the company name and the timeframe in which I've been employed, with no additional details like the rest of my resume reads. That was stupid. It looks stupid to me. ARGH. So of course, I now highly doubt they will even consider me.

I'm very down. And my husband is having a very difficult time with my symptoms. He's carrying way too much stress between his own work stress, my problems, issues his mother is facing, losing his father not too long ago, and his concerns about a WW3.

I am trying to stay positive and hopeful that all of this will resolve.... somehow and miraculously.

I am considering transitioning out of my niche field in digital marketing to a digital marketing account manager role. I just reached out to a former colleague who works at a new agency to ask how he likes it there since they have an opening. I may apply, if he gives positive feedback. I will ask him if he's willing to give me a reference, too.

I feel kind of desperate to leave my new/current company. I made the analogy to my closest girlfriend of what it's like trying to work there: it's like facing an enormous mountain that is steep with lots of rocks and hurdles, while having bad/hurt knees and a large 50-pound backback on your back, and saying "no, I cannot hike up this mountain". That's how I feel about the challenges I face in my new job. There's SO many challenges that I don't think I am up for facing. I am kind of just done with facing massive challenges at work.

My last job really did me in and did me no favors - it stressed me out SO much, and then I went head-first into a new job with even GREATER stress and challenges. ARGH.

I am waiting to hear back from Paid Family Medical Leave to see if my appeal is accepted and whether they will provide me with financial support while I've been away from work. I am anxiously awaiting their response.

I was going to try to return to work by April 4th, but I am dreading the conversation I must have with my CEO about where I'm really at, mentally and in my current condition. My father, wo is a psychiatrist, says I need to be at least 75% better to return to work, and that my employer will likely require a doctor's note saying I can return to work. I have my appt this Thursday with the psychiatrist with whom I am working.

It's just hard to imagine, even without my condition, that I can actually succeed in my new job. The mountain of challenges is just SO BIG. Then add on to that my condition, and I really don't have the confidence that I will make it through without getting let go or fired for not being able to do the job.

I'm trying to go back to work by next Mon/Tues and have to contact my CEO about this today. I want to ask her if I can ease into the position, given my condition combined with the learning curve. I am nervous...... about returning to work, but I need the money so badly I feel I have to go back. Paid Family and Medical Leave won't have an answer for me until maybe April 7th or as late as April 17th on whether I can be paid for being out of work due to a medical condition. I cannot keep borrowing money from my parents - I already owe them for my $1500.

ARGH. I don't know what to say to her.

My CEO has not replied....and I am worried.

It takes time to reply, she might be busy. Give it time. Does your pdoc think you are ready for work?

I talk to my pdoc tomorrow, so we shall see.

My Pdoc is writing a note for me, but my dad (who is a psychiatrist) provided the verbiage for the letter. It's a very brief letter stating that I need modifications to the original job for which I was hired, without including any specifics. Great. So I sent that to my doctor to send to my CEO.

I'm really freaked out right now. I am supposed to return to work by Tuesday? And without any specifics around how my job should be modified? I am having a conversation with my CEO and my VP on Monday to discuss this and my "re-integration" back to work.

I know I cannot carry the same level of stress I was carrying before I took a leave of absence. I've realized that I've carried FAR too much stress, and that it's been long-term.... from my last job, from the job before that, from being hospitalized, and from going through a near divorce and separation from my husband. It's like once I entered the new job and stress came on, I immediately caved. It was the straw that finally broke the camel's back so to speak.

IF they let me go, which I sort of want but also do not want, I could at least take the time to find a more suitable position.

I just applied for a job at Harvard University, where I used to work. I don't have high hopes that I will be contacted for this role. It would be a very nice surprise if they did.

I guess what I am saying is I already feel that my new company is a bad fit. They work on the weekends, and at night. Not my cup of tea. And these website audits and presentations that they do are well over my head.

I don't know how I will survive there. I also cannot backslide in terms of my symptoms! What if more stress comes on, and my symptoms all come back with a vengeance? Then I will have to leave work again..... unpaid.

I am very scared, worried and concerned. I need money to survive. This is why I am even attempting to go back to work, but it would really help right about now if Paid Family Medical Leave would accept my application or my appeal, and send me money to survive.

This truly SUCKS.

I return to work today. I am nervous and scared. I have not had to concentrate for 8 hours straight in over a month. They did agree to give me less stressful work for a while. My CEO said she will give me a month, and then at that point she will reassess whether I am a good fit for the job. She could let me go at that point. I am not protected because my doctor's note said nothing about still being symptomatic. I am somewhat symptomatic..... but I can concentrate on tasks and I can get tasks done.

I've already applied for different roles in the last week. I've determined (already) that I don't think this job is the best match for me so I'm looking elsewhere and at different types of positions than the one I've had over recent years. I would like to do more copywriting/copyediting, so I am looking at positions that emphasize these skills.

My husband is also nervous about me potentially being unemployed. And I get it, I would be nervous too if I were him.

good luck have hope hugs

Thank you!