Negative thinking in new job when faced with new challenges

So, my client is happy to provide a reference - hooray!!

And, I am thinking I will be let go next week from my job, possibly. They have been giving me very menial, low level tasks lately - I am doing data entry for a very high salary. I only have 1-2 more meaningful projects next week, yet my high salary certainly is not warranted given the level of work I am doing. If I were the CEO or my boss, I would be raising an eyebrow over what I can really do for them at this point. I don't think my work measures up to their standards. I had two bigger projects earlier in the month that I handed in to my boss - I've received no feedback on either one, and the VP asked to look at my work as well. This is why I think they're going to let me go - or, they're trying to push me out.

IF I get let go, and IF this other role works out and I get an offer, God willing, then all could work out quite well in fact. But if this other job does not work out and I get let go, then I will be in yet another stressful situation being unemployed with very little money to live on. And, if I don't get let go, what am I really doing there? I'd like to do more than just data entry!

This is all just so very stressful.

Keep on hanging in there!

Thanks, Bill! I will and am.

I had an interview, and I don't know how I feel about it. In response to a couple things I said, my interviewer said to me, "I love that!". So I felt that was very positive at least. But in a few places, I could have done better, and I don't feel that I finished strong. My last words came across as very flat and monotone to me. My video also failed me so I had to call in instead, which stressed me out from the outset of the interview. It was only a half hour interview and it felt more like an initial screening interview. It wasn't with the hiring manager either. It was with someone else, a step below the hiring manager. I pray that they ask me back for another round. I really want this job.

I really should have had a red bull before the interview. That energizes me and helps me to come across as very energized and enthusiastic. UGH.

This is the week I am supposed to talk to my CEO about my current position. They haven't approached me yet about a meeting.

In general? I feel like my best lately is not good enough. I am trying .... and I keep seeing myself falling down a lot. I fell down a few times in the interview because I was thrown off - not only by the video not working, but by her line of questioning, which wasn't at all what I prepared for or expected. And in my current job? I feel like I am not doing things well enough, despite my best efforts. I feel like a failure.

Hang in there. All we could do is do our best. And that’s what you are doing. Good luck with the interviews

Thanks @divine1966.

I did get a second interview, so that's awesome!!!!

Congratulations!! 😃

Great news

Thanks! I'm very happy I have another chance to try and wow them!

Yay congrats 👏

Thanks @willowtigger!

I have a 3-month "check-in" meeting with my boss on Monday. I have NO idea what his feedback will be, nor do I know what to say to him about how I am feeling about work lately.

Yesterday, I messed something up in a spreadsheet I was working on, so the higher ups made me go through the sheet line by line to double check ALL of my work. UGH. AND, my boss called me out on the mistake, asking me why it happened. I made a mistake! It happens. I am not perfect. Then my husband tells me that's bad because I need to be perfect right now or else I may lose my job. NOT helpful.

AND, my therapist on Tuesday told me that my husband's words about being careful around leaving my old job for greener pastures came true - that my new job is no better, so basically he insinuated that my husband was right and that I was wrong in choosing to leave. Great. So, my therapist still is siding with my husband, and is quoting his words to me even.

So, maybe I made a mistake in leaving my last job - so what. I felt I had to leave because I was running out of ideas for my client websites, there was zero leadership on my team to rely on for ideas and strategies, and my favorite account manager was leaving as well. So, I made a move, and it turned out to be the wrong move. Why do I need to hear about it as though I made some sort of colossal mistake? It happens. People leave companies and then maybe land in the wrong company all the time. That's what happened. I don't see the big deal, unless it ends up harming me somehow.

I am sick of this kind of thing with my therapist, and with my husband, even. And I don't need to hear from my husband about the mistake I made at work. GEEZ. It was tough going through an entire spreadsheet, and I missed a line. No real harm done. I got the job done and I did it correctly the second go around.

But I am sure in this meeting with my boss that he will bring it up, or at least he's made note of my mistakes, I am sure.

I'm not looking forward to this meeting on Monday. My second interview also needs to be scheduled sometime in the next few days, and I am both excited and nervous. I really want this one to work out.

I worry that my mentality/self esteem is getting effected by people pointing out all my mistakes. I don't need that in my life - and frankly, it's just downright annoying af. I am a perfectionist and am working on changing that. This is going in the opposite direction if my mistakes are thrown in the face as they have been. GEEZ!

Have Hope deserves amazing things

Awwwwwwww, thank you! That just warms my heart and makes me feel good. Thank you.

So, WOW. I suddenly have FOUR interviews ahead of me with this one company! They've scheduled ALL FOUR ahead of time, which is very uncommon in my experience. Typically, I've had to get through one interview and hurdle at a time before I am invited to the next round, so I am taking this as a very positive sign!

I've made it through four rounds of interviews so far. One more to go tomorrow. If after all this I don't get an offer, it will be most disappointing and disheartening.

Hang in there!

Thanks @Bill3.

I'm trying, but I am exhausted by all this. I realized this morning that 5 separate interviews scheduled each day is exhausting! BUT, I am almost done, thankfully.

Thanks so much for continuing to cheer me on!!

I'm done with the interviews!!!! YAY. I made it through. Now I am just waiting to see if there's an offer. IF there is one, I hope they give me the most amount of salary, at the upper end of their range. I am still thinking it through though too. It's a pharmaceutical client, with 50 brands and 100 websites. It's a HUGE job, and is very complex. That being said, I would be switching my career focus from strategy to client services. So the job is being in charge of the client calls and relationship. Much more up my alley than what I am doing now, which is strategy.

I have to think of my future direction in all of this. I don't want to become a Director leading others in the niche that I am in now. I don't want that, and I don't feel equipped for it. So a change in my career direction right now would be smart, even if it's for less money than what I earn now. I'd rather be on the right track, building my career towards a goal that I actually want. And what I am doing now I feel is a dead end. It's time to change.

With all of that being said, a pharmaceutical client may be really hard. I would have to learn the ins and outs of each brand - all 50 of them. It could be overwhelming at first. They said it's a six month learning curve. At least I am prepared with that knowledge.

We shall see. I should know soon enough if there is an offer. I also am supposed to now meet with my current CEO on Monday to discuss my role in my current job. The timing for an offer could not be any better.