How to Stand Up Against Rude Customers

I'm a cashier, and I'm tired of the treatment I receive by customers. They think I am dumb because I am a cashier.

I had a lady explain to me how to count to 24. I told her, "Gee, if I only they taught me that in college algebra, calculus, and statistics." And she said, "well, COUNTING is different than THAT."

I have customers who happily go on and on and on with another customer, then turn around an instantly scowl at me and berate me as I ring them up.

I have customers who think I'm a human vending machine. They walk up without even saying hello and say "PACK OF CIGARETTES. THAT. THERE. UP, UP, LEFT, LEFT, RIGHT, DOWN. THERE!!!" "Have a nice--" "BYE."

Customers just assume I am dumb because I am a cashier, they scream at me, yell at me, complain to me, sneer at me, scowl at me, scoff at me, make fun of the way I talk and dress and act, mock my voice when I say hello...

...And I am absolutely fed up with it. At what point do I stand up for myself? I keep telling myself, I need my job, but I'm tired of the way people treat me. Even my coworkers think I'm dumb. They all laugh because I am strictly on the register when they do it all, yet my boss is the one who says any other job is beneath me and I am the most qualified, most exceptional person on the register. She says I make people feel welcome and wanting to come back, so I feel if I stand up for myself on the register against rude and mean customers, there would be serious consequences.

But I'm done. I've had it. I do need to say something. It's not just one customer that upsets me, multiple times a day I get a-hole customers. And I'm tired of feeling dumb and belittled. I am a straight A student in English, math, biology, psychology, sociology, and every class I've attended I've excelled in and planning on going into the medical field. I'm exceptionally smart, exceptionally gifted, exceptionally kind (to the point of being stepped on) but I have social anxiety and I'm fuming on the inside when people think I'm dumb because I'm "just a cashier" and I'm tired of being mocked and belittled and screamed out and bullied and getting my emotions thrown around because customers are a-holes...and I just don't know what to do to stand up for myself.

So what do I do? What can I do to stand up and SHUT DOWN a-hole customers? I'm a full time employee and can't stand the constant torment. I need some one-liners or SOMETHING to stop these customers from making me feel miserable.

Im sorry this is happening.

Ive been watching youtube videos of people being deemed to drunk to fly, among other freakouts. It is almost admirable the way the airline workers keep their cool against incredible abuse. It fortifies me to watch.

I used to work retail and the best way I had to deal with things like this was not taking it personally. Granted, it is extremely difficult to do. I had trouble with this as well. I would take comments personally and I almost cried in front of a customer one time. That didn't go well. Anyway, just know you're not alone in having this experience with people. Also know that sometimes there's nothing to be done about the situation, and all you can do is apologize (if you feel like it), and just offer to get whatever it is done that they want. Is there a manager you can talk to about this? Also, maybe try focusing on the positive interactions you've had with customers (if there are any) and just put your mind on that (I know, it's easier said than done). Some people I know adopt kind of a "brusque" attitude with customers - I'm not sure I would recommend this, as it seems like this doesn't necessarily help when they get mad. I'll say for people like me (a sensitive person), it's really hard to interact in this way with people, given that I take most things personally if they're insulting. Or I'll think about the person's motives, or whatever. It's really hard.

Addition: I would also try to think about lowering the bar. I guess what I mean by that is - what are the expectations for the interaction (this is something I still struggle with to this day). The expectations are that the person working completes the transaction successfully. That's about it. I mean, sure there can be small talk or whatever. But just maybe something else to consider if you're having trouble with this.

So would you go to any of these people for advice? If not simply disregard what they have to say. If you don’t value them in any way then their opinion is not worth absorbing.

Cbt has helped me with this sort of logic. I’m not saying that I don’t occasionally get someone rude and think About it all night but it’s far less frequent.

If your manager has your back you don’t need to worry about job security but don’t fire back at the customers or you could risk that. I tend to just not say anything if people go off the rails.

A lot of people diffuse the situation by discussing customers behind their backs when no one is around. Like you know how there’s the one guy who comes in five minutes to close every time…what a jerk. To your coworkers only, not in front of customers.

Another approach is venting to a friend or even here after the fact as that will clear your mind a bit.

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Sounds more like the problem is low self confidence not rude customers. Nobody can make you feel dumb if you know you’re not, and you’ve given lots of proof your are not dumb. Your co-workers sound jealous. Look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself what your boss has said, that you are good at your job and the most qualified. This is a temporary situation cause once you graduate you will move on and have a huge collection of stories to entertain your friends with about how rude people were but you did not let them get to you.

I had the kinds of problems with people you mention when I was in retail.

Since I was seeing a psychiatrist at the time for depression and anxiety, I asked for some advice on this issue. He suggested I make a little game out of my time at work.

He said: "Imagine that you are working in an insane asylum. The people who are rude to you are all mentally imbalanced in some way. So you are just humoring them when they are acting out, knowing in the back of your mind that they are crazy."

I tried this and it helped a lot although I still had times when stuff at work got to me.

Wish I had something more helpful to offer. I think that people in general are becoming less civil in society. That is probably a gross overgeneralization, but it has been my personal experience.

Kudos to you Literary Lark, I work in retail but I’m shop floor not services - I don’t know how service cope with the relentless rudeness and stupidity I’ve witnessed. I help out on services when they are busy but I’m always glad to get back to working stock even though that’s physically demanding. We do get the odd rude customer on shop floor too of course but there’s less interaction generally.

I tend to do what Sometimes Psychotic says and disregard their opinion - after all they are nothing to me. Recently I had a guy ask if I could count - I just ignored him, looked past him and solved the issue he had with the self scan machine with minimal interaction. You sir are a **** went my inner dialogue, and I inwardly thanked my lucky stars that I have no one like that amongst my family and friends. Don’t get me wrong, I have been in tears before with a customer, someone who came inches from my face and screamed at me. There’s always some randomly awful person who can knock you off balance. Yaowen’s advice about the insane asylum is really good for those scenarios!

I’m sad you don’t have colleague support - because that can really help. We do actually sit in the staff room laughing about certain customers at my store. It’s very cathartic.

Have you considered asking for training in other departments? I wonder if a change of scene might help? I know you say your manager likes you as a cashier but what would you like to do?