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Default May 12, 2022 at 04:34 PM
  #1
I got a job. In a grocery store. I'm concerned that this is a wrong fit. The me who has experienced trauma at work before, is very scared this could be another bad experience. The me who is stronger and has goals of working, a small part of her wants to stay and try to make it work. [background context: I'd been hired there last summer, went to the orientation, and they put me on some back to back hours that I was so nervous about that I ended up quitting before I started. I was glad she called me though to have an interview.]


This year, I ruffled feathers before I even started my first day. I'd been told I would be working 4 hours on my first day, because I had a volunteer training at the time they wanted me to work the 6 hours. During orientation, they gave me 6, asked if it was okay, and I'd forgotten about volunteer training, and said yes. I ended up calling about 2 hours later, and said something like "Would I be able to work 4 hours my first day? I have a volunteer training scheduled that day that I forgot about. Though I know I already said yes. So if you can't accommodate, I will just work the 6 that day because there are other days to do the training. I just thought I'd ask." She sounded annoyed and a bit unhappy, but said I could work 4 hours that first day. I felt pretty uneasy after I hung up though. She'd mentioned to us during orientation, that once we get our work training schedule, we shouldn't change it. It wasn't something I thought much about till after I made the call. And I felt bad. She did say, during the call, after I apologized, that at least she hadn't gone to the other manager to solidify it yet. But I was just really worried I'd done something wrong.


The next day, I called to give her my routing number for direct deposit, as I said I would, and when she answered she sounded unhappy. When I told her who was calling though, she sounded annoyed. She said "Yes, WovenGalaxy." In a loud, really annoyed tone, and I was so freaked out. I told her why I was calling and she softened to positive demeanor, but after we hung up, I cried. A lot.


My first day, Monday, I woke up with diarrhea. I knew something was wrong, but I knew it would look bad if I didn't go in, or called in, so I went in. I was okay when there, but I have been very sick all week. I called in on my next shift, which was also my birthday (I was really sick, it was a bad day). I also called in today, and saw my primary care doctor today, who gave me a note. Both my dept mgr and the hiring mgr who I spoke with, said to me "This is not good, it doesn't make you look good, you will need a doctor's note." I'm fine with giving them a doc's note. I was planning on it. I have a doc's note. What I'm not okay with, was both of their seeming lack of concern. Not that we are friends or even know each other. But they just seemed so stern and serious. It's not my fault I am sick. I know its bad timing. I expressed to them I knew it was bad timing, and apologized, even though I knew i didn't need to.


Its pretty disorganized there too. I was scheduled to train on days where my dept mgr wasn't there, and my dept mgr was confused as to why I'd been scheduled. But she told me to go in anyway, which I was going to until whatever g.i. bug I have got worse. I'd have had no idea who to report to or what to do bc the hiring mgr was also off. It was confusing and stressful.


So. I've been sick. I think I'm on the mend. But it (the illness) has really affected my mood, too. So, I've been wanting to quit. It just doesn't seem like a good fit at all. I'm disabled, so I don't have to work RIGHT now. It is a goal of mine to work, and this just hasn't gone in any way like I've hoped, and emotion me is really afraid and sees red flags. There is a small part of me that is like "these people are clowns and jerks, or maybe just weird and stern and disorganized, and I'm not that afraid of them, I could maybe still work there and make it work. I have a doctor's note."


I just ****ing dread every second of having to talk to these assholes. She was really nice in the interview and then turned into a *****. I don't want to dread. I don't want to cry.


My job was okay. It's stocking. Some of it was pretty boring. And very physical, which I'm a little nervous about. My first day wasn't bad. But I am concerned.


I'm also wondering if they will notice it was my birthday the first day I called in, and assume I just wanted to have fun. I have a doc's note, but there's no repoire there for me with them. They have so far sucked. It's not so much that they suck (except for the time I cried after her hurtful tone). But I am really uncomfortable with the tone of how they're being towards me.


I could quit. I could resign. I would not give 2 weeks notice. They already seem so unhappy and unsure about me. I'd still give them my doc's note, but quit. It's what I mostly want to do, but I'm scared to do that too, honestly. I don't want to interact with them about difficult stuff where they'll be rude to me, or possibly rude.


And I don't know my sched for next week. This is a ****ing mess. She wants me to hand her the doctor's note in person. Do I have to? How do I quit? This all just is...I don't know. Being sick threw everything off.
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Default May 12, 2022 at 08:36 PM
  #2
I'm going to try to make it work for now. If anyone has any support around that I'm open.
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Default May 13, 2022 at 02:13 AM
  #3
I’m glad you’re giving it another go, you wrote the job itself is okay, maybe a little boring, and physical but okay. It seems like you’re stressed more from the personal interactions with supervisors?

I think establishing yourself in a new workplace is always stressful and with your very unfortunate sickness that sounds like it’s made it more so.

I’m not defending rude behaviour (because it sounds like this supervisor’s manner was rude) but she may have snapped because of pressure of having to cover shifts. I know where I work there is a big problem covering shifts. So it may not have been personal, rather her snapping under pressure. She will no doubt have experienced many staff who aren’t reliable and possibly she’s alert to that with any new members of staff until they prove themselves trustworthy and reliable.

What I’ve found myself is that in time when I became part of an established team and people knew me that interactions became a lot easier. People know for sure what kind of person you are by then and hopefully should therefore mean they are more accommodating around unavoidable absence (like for example I gave some flexibility and worked extra shifts so they let me leave work early for a funeral that kind of thing, tit for tat). So in my experience it definitely does get easier - and the paycheque is always something to look forward to!

Good luck and hoping your next week will be better and you’ll feel better too.
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Default May 13, 2022 at 04:59 AM
  #4
It is definitely / completely about the interactions I've had with my supervisors, and not the job itself (though yes, a bit boring and physical).

Thank you for the insight of your personal experiences, Discombobulated!
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Default May 14, 2022 at 05:19 PM
  #5
That’s retail. It’s not you. They always act all miserable if you call in sick.

I have a side job in retail. Right now it’s one evening a week. Last fall my husband had to go to ER so I called them that I am driving him to ER. They didn’t allow me in ER so I sat on a parking lot.

After an hour of this my husband called that he is admitted. I had to drive back home to pick his things and then drive back to the hospital. Just to give a context he stayed in the hospital for a week after that and then another two weeks home on IV. So it wasn’t running nose.

So I am calling the store explaining my driving back and forth situation and worrying about him and they asked if I can drop my husbands stuff with him and drive back to the store to work even if just one hour. It was so stupid that I laughed. Say what???

I have bunch of stories like this. It’s a very common attitude in retail. Not personal. If you sick, take sick day and let them deal. Not your problem
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Default May 15, 2022 at 03:44 PM
  #6
Thanks. Yeah I agree you shouldn't have to go in when you're driving your H to the hospital.

Update to all: I'm feeling better so going in Monday. I was sick for 4 days M-Th. It was so scary and uncomfortable. My doc said I need to be symptom free 24hrs before going back. She wrote that in her note to my work too.

I think its important to say, this is not in my head. When dealing with the manager on Fri morning, she kept telling me how my dept manager is "none too happy with" me, because she had to do a huge load by herself.
I thought this was weird. I could not help being sick, no matter the timing. I will go in this week, but if I'm retaliated against (which is preposterous), including rude mean annoyed tones with me, I will quit, and not give notice.

The hiring mgr was happy I had a doc note. Its like I was guilty until proven innocent. I'm sure they've dealt with lots of bs from other employees. But, again, I'm really not pleased with them.

I will go in tmrw. I am in the meantime, putting it out of my head.

And, I stuck up for myself on Friday. When I brought the doc note in, I was furious inside bc of what she'd said to me on the phone ("she's none too happy with you," she played my illness down as "not feeling well"). In an even and strong tone, I said "I was sick for 4 days. There was nothing I could have done differently to change this." It seemed to help, plus my Dr note.
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Default May 15, 2022 at 03:56 PM
  #7
I refuse to have diarrhea. I cant deal with it. One bad poopy, followed by a scary intestinal rumble, and im shoveling in Immodium. I know some people say oh no you have to let it work itself out but i do not subscribe to that school of thought.

I admire you for trying to work even though you are not feeling 100 percent. I kept telling myself i would do something productive if i ever got my ish together.

When i was at uni taking a math degree, the joke was that mathematicians keep themselves alive by committing themselves to an unsolvable problem, then keep trying to solve it. I feel like my weight and my hoarding are my unsolvable problem.
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Default May 15, 2022 at 05:03 PM
  #8
I'm thinking about quitting. It would suck. For everyone. Including me - it would be so uncomfortable to have that convo. I know this is awful and immature but I think about just not showing up.

I need to distract myself. right now.

Edit: I had a realization that running away from this, will not save me from having a crappy job ever again. It will not stop people from ever assuming something wrong about me ever again, or being angry with me for reasons I think are stupid. I have done everything right regarding this, and there is some hope. I will plan to go in tomorrow.

Last edited by WovenGalaxy; May 15, 2022 at 05:53 PM..
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Default May 15, 2022 at 05:55 PM
  #9
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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
I refuse to have diarrhea. I cant deal with it. One bad poopy, followed by a scary intestinal rumble, and im shoveling in Immodium. I know some people say oh no you have to let it work itself out but i do not subscribe to that school of thought.

I admire you for trying to work even though you are not feeling 100 percent. I kept telling myself i would do something productive if i ever got my ish together.

When i was at uni taking a math degree, the joke was that mathematicians keep themselves alive by committing themselves to an unsolvable problem, then keep trying to solve it. I feel like my weight and my hoarding are my unsolvable problem.

Hugs, una.
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Default May 15, 2022 at 11:22 PM
  #10
I hear you, and thinking of you!

I think there is generally an expectation you’ll come in even if your leg is dropping off in retail and many other jobs too. Honestly covid was the first time we could take time off sick without being hassled!

Yeah retail is constantly bare bones staffing and a sick call means you’re left with all the work. It happens basically (that’s my attitude).

None of this experience will be making you feel valued as an employee, and that sucks as a start. I’m rooting for you though that you can get in this week and get some good experiences in too - you’re a nice person and I’m sure you’ll be a great colleague once you get a chance to prove yourself.
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Default May 16, 2022 at 05:40 AM
  #11
I've decided to quit.
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Default May 16, 2022 at 06:57 AM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy View Post
I've decided to quit.
Oh. Maybe give it a week?
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