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Default Dec 14, 2022 at 10:25 PM
  #1
So I'm into the second week of my six week temp job for a franchise, where there is only two staff onsite (the front desk person and the licensed person). Today, the branch manager visited the site to check in with the licensed guy and the two of them apparently didn't care that a woman was in the office (me). They are both in their early 30s and their conversation was littered with a few curse words and references to every kindergartener's favorite word, "poop."

I'm in hell. I'm 51 years old and I'm in hell.

Yes, I could quit, and thus end the only income I could generate after being released from three years of substitute teaching (another level of Dante's Divine comedy since substitute teaching is its own level of hellscape).

And believe me. I want to quit. But I need the $$ for the next six weeks. And yes, I'm furiously applying for jobs (always have been). I joined another temp agency but the recruiter I spoke to blatantly told me she wasn't going to present me for the types of roles I have experience in, because according to her, I don't have enough experience (I do, it's just older than 5 years, so her ageism is showing and she's violating the EEOC policies written to protect older workers like myself).

That brings me to this question, the two misogynist guys and the ageist temporary recruiter demonstrated different biases today. Ironically, they did this WHILE I was watching an onboarding video about that very topic: biases in the workplace. Part of this franchise's attempt at diversity training of their employees.

The kicker is, even if I wanted to get hired on at another location I can't. Not until the temp agency's six month contract expires with this company. They won't pay the release fee required to direct-hire temporary employees b/c that can cost upwards of $5-7K just for one person.

So, I have to make the best of this temp job from hell. Suck it up, buttercup. That's what I have to do. I need the next six weeks of income so I can at minimum get another temp job lined up and maximum, find a real career-eque job.

Types of biases:

Confirmation Bias.
Similarity-Attraction Bias.
Conformity Bias.
Affinity Bias.
Contrast Effect.
Halo and Horns Effect.
Attribution Bias.
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Default Dec 15, 2022 at 03:43 PM
  #2
I am so sorry you are in that situation. Wish I knew what to say.
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Default Dec 15, 2022 at 07:09 PM
  #3
I appreciate you responding at least. No one really responds to my posts anymore. I’m not sure why it’s kind of annoying. I’m not posting need to vent. I’m posting for support. Oh well. It is what it is. People are going to be who they are. Nothing I can do about it.
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Default Dec 15, 2022 at 07:35 PM
  #4
Two guys might just be rude. Many people are rude. Do you think they were rude because you are a woman or just plain rude? Would they be just as rude if you were a man?

Not having recent experience could mean she implies you are old but could just literally meaning you have no recent experience. You could be 30 and have no recent experience

They could be biased of course. I’d not quit a job over it. I do understand it’s hard. But some things you can’t change because you have to eat. So you must stick around. Life is tough.
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Default Dec 15, 2022 at 10:59 PM
  #5
In both temp work and substitute teaching these jobs don’t really come with much power or social recognition because it’s so short term. Many years ago I did temp work and I noticed that, yet I found it interesting in that it gave me a chance to move around and observe different work environments.

It sounds like you are expecting more status then you experience and that doesn’t really happen with temp jobs. It’s similar as being cast as an extra in a play or movie where you just fill a space an no one sees you as anything more than that. For example these two young guys who interact with each other that use undesirable language. These guys are not even acknowledging your presence. I can see how that can be triggering, yet that’s how people can be.

Temp work is mostly just a pay check and being just a filler, an extra that is not really considered part of. There is no true power of presence or identity. That’s what temp work is, a paycheck.
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Default Dec 16, 2022 at 01:41 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
In both temp work and substitute teaching these jobs don’t really come with much power or social recognition because it’s so short term. Many years ago I did temp work and I noticed that, yet I found it interesting in that it gave me a chance to move around and observe different work environments.

It sounds like you are expecting more status then you experience and that doesn’t really happen with temp jobs. It’s similar as being cast as an extra in a play or movie where you just fill a space an no one sees you as anything more than that. For example these two young guys who interact with each other that use undesirable language. These guys are not even acknowledging your presence. I can see how that can be triggering, yet that’s how people can be.

Temp work is mostly just a pay check and being just a filler, an extra that is not really considered part of. There is no true power of presence or identity. That’s what temp work is, a paycheck.
I appreciate your insight, Open Eyes. And you're right about the two young men...to them, I'm just invisible since I'm a seat filler for the next few weeks while the receptionist is on medical leave. Their dismissive behavior towards me was very, very triggering. It hurt my feelings. I may be a temp, but I am still human. I should still be treated with respect despite the circumstances.

Esp. the lack of transparency and the lack of communication from them. I think that is the most triggering of all for me. I'm very transparent and always express my intentions with people. I realize not everyone communicates like I do, yet that shouldn't excuse people from treating me like crap.

I love your analogy about being cast as an extra in a play or movie, where you just fill a space, and are never seen, because it aptly describes contract work.

I have been trapped in that hamster wheel of contract work for a decade and I can't stand it. And whenever I see an opportunity to move forward into something full-time, I take the opportunity to no avail.

Like today. I emailed my certificate's program director and a professor asking them if they could serve as a reference for me for a full-time job that I applied for.
Their silence, their non-response, was their actual response. A "no" without directly telling me no. That was very emotionally disappointing to experience.

How am I supposed to advance forward if no one will be my reference, or give me an opportunity to shine.
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Default Dec 16, 2022 at 04:58 AM
  #7
People can be very self centered and selfish and they often don’t care to extend themselves in giving recommendations. The business world has changed a lot in the past ten years alone. The corporate world has grown cold and the overall sense of job security has changed. It’s not just you that is challenged.

I think a lot also depends on what state a person lives in too. The quality of education has changed and Covid made an already challenged system even worse. People are not as connected as they used to be thanks to all our technology. The in person social experience has changed in certain areas.
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Default Dec 16, 2022 at 10:50 AM
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People can be very self centered and selfish and they often don’t care to extend themselves in giving recommendations. The business world has changed a lot in the past ten years alone. The corporate world has grown cold and the overall sense of job security has changed. It’s not just you that is challenged.

I think a lot also depends on what state a person lives in too. The quality of education has changed and Covid made an already challenged system even worse. People are not as connected as they used to be thanks to all our technology. The in person social experience has changed in certain areas.
People are very self-centered and selfish and don't care to extend themselves to give others recommendations. This is a true statement. I agree with you.

I also agree that the leadership style and management style in corporate and education environments has not advanced despite technology.

What makes me frustrated is that I have so much to offer yet constantly am dismissed or ignored because of my low status on the totem pole. It's emotionally exhausting to be consistently ignored. It's very defeating to endure on a regular basis and contributes to distorted thinking about my own self image that the public sees. That I'm incapable and unworthy. And that's just not true or accurate AT ALL.
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Default Dec 16, 2022 at 01:43 PM
  #9
Yes, I believe you and I have listened to several people that have put up with being treated poorly but step back from complaining for fear of losing their job. I have also listened to different individuals trying to find a different job going through a few interview steps and suddenly nothing despite being experienced and qualified. It does have a negative effect on a person’s self esteem. It’s not just you.
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Default Dec 16, 2022 at 04:05 PM
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Yes, I believe you and I have listened to several people that have put up with being treated poorly but step back from complaining for fear of losing their job. I have also listened to different individuals trying to find a different job going through a few interview steps and suddenly nothing despite being experienced and qualified. It does have a negative effect on a person’s self esteem. It’s not just you.
I tell myself before I walk in the door that I'm playing a role...that I'm a character on a tv show like the office (Pam but without the 'tude). That's the only way that I can mentally survive this awful situation. I have to infuse it with abstract humor or I will quit.

An article in the Huffington Post was published today by a woman in her 50s, talking about my exact situation. It took her 6 years to find a job after she was laid off. I'm in my 10th year of running on the hamster wheel of contract work, that has me going in circles exhausting myself, because I'm going nowhere.

I have to figure out how to make enough money to support myself that takes me off this hamster wheel of temporary work. It's exhausting and morally depleting.
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Default Dec 16, 2022 at 05:46 PM
  #11
That’s what most people do, they slip into their work mindset which is very much playing a role.
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Default Dec 19, 2022 at 04:13 PM
  #12
I think that’s smart Motts, when I’ve not been happy in a workplace that’s what I’ve done too, viewed it as a bad sitcom.

Only other advice I can think of is ramp up your self care and try not to think about work when you’re not there.
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Default Dec 20, 2022 at 10:09 PM
  #13
@Motts have you ever investigated online teaching jobs. Online teacher.live.
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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 07:58 PM
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I think that’s smart Motts, when I’ve not been happy in a workplace that’s what I’ve done too, viewed it as a bad sitcom.

Only other advice I can think of is ramp up your self care and try not to think about work when you’re not there.
Bad sitcoms definitely serve a purpose in real life, right?!

I'm definitely ramping up my self-care. The temp agency recruiters at another agency are stonewalling me from submitting me to active roles, by lying (and I don't know why they do, other than they don't like me). Example, I sent my references over for a role the recruiter told me I would be a good fit for.

Two weeks went by with no update from the recruiter, so I reached out to ask her for an update. I mentioned that I checked with my references whether or not the recruiter contacted them (the recruiter hadn't yet), and asked her why she hadn't contacted my references two weeks ago.

The recruiter's lying response to me via email; that the company hadn't sent over details of the position (she forgot she'd EMAILED ME the details of the position) yet, and she couldn't check my references until she had those details. Total baloney of course. I've been in the temp agency world for decades and I know when I'm being blackballed.

So, lots of self-care going on. I'm still at the six week temp job at least so I have income for the next few weeks at least.

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@Motts have you ever investigated online teaching jobs. Online teacher.live.
I have and they pay $7/hr despite their marketing online of paying $15-20/hr. Just not true. And I have zero desire to wakeup at 3 a.m. to teach to students in other countries for such low pay with no guarantee I'd be paid regularly. I appreciate the suggestion.

I'm applying to other online jobs that I can do alongside the 6 week temp job. Haven't received any responses yet but its so close to the holidays I may not hear anything for a couple of weeks until after NYE is over.
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Default Dec 22, 2022 at 11:21 PM
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Hmm, this must mean the company/agency that hires online teachers charges $15 an hour and only pays the teacher half which turns out to be $7 an hour. Idk how they can get away with that as most states minimum wage is close to $15 an hour now. That doesn’t even sound legal.
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Default Dec 23, 2022 at 11:20 AM
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I had to research into the online English teaching industry for a work project. A lot of the schools are based outside of the U.S. - China, India, etc. Here in South America one of the biggest ones, Open English used to be headquartered in Venezuela, although I am not sure if they still are. In my case, I had to find examples of U.S.-based businesses and there weren't many. I am guessing with that business model, few companies are following U.S. labor law, even if they hire people from the U.S.
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Default Jan 10, 2023 at 05:24 PM
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I feel like the provider is creating a file against me. Since I was only hired to answer phones and book appointments, he doesn't provide much support or direction when he tells me to do other administrative tasks that I have not been trained to do, that his front office assistant does.

I feel like I'm being undermined and sabotaged by this guy. He wants me to do (A) but won't train me how to do (A), then expects me to just do it. And if I ask him to show me how to do (A) he undermines me by telling me that I should know how to do it, i.e. gaslight me. He also said he isn't going to be a reference for me since according to him, I'm making too many mistakes. He also spends a lot of his time on his cellphone. People like him, who don't communicate or train their staff, yet expect their staff to just do things (mindread) are immature and passive aggress.

Toxic boss? Yes, he definitely is. He doesn't want to train me how to do other things and then expects me to do them anyway, then may report to my recruiter that I didn't ask him for help and made a lot of mistakes. All I've tried to do is get away from the substitute teaching and contract temp work to a full-time job. Yet, no luck. And I've taken the steps: career center workshops, resume help, networking through social media and in person. I'm not making headway due to my resume content (relevant experience is older than ten years) and my age, and that is very frustrating.
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Default Jan 11, 2023 at 07:29 AM
  #18
Oh boy, I hope you’re feeding back to him that he’s being unrealistic and unreasonable, he sounds a poor manager.
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Default Jan 11, 2023 at 09:49 AM
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He is a poor manager. Yesterday, he commented "You're an adult. You can make your own decisions." I'm 12 years older than him so technically he's correct. He asks me to take FedEx packages to the FedEx store, ok fine. When I ask him if he wants the receipts, he says, "Why? If you lose those packages, you get me fired which gets you fired." So passive aggressive. Jesus. Just say, "yes, that would be great" or "no, I trust you." I mean, who hired this guy thinking he could manage even just his front desk office assistant?

I haven't tried to reason with him b/c when confronted with past toxic managers, that always got me fired. Toxic managers are emotionally immature akin to toddlers in their psychological development. They don't want to be held accountable or deal with someone else's healthy boundaries. So they just throw a tantrum and blame the other person for their own actions. I find it's useless to reason with an adult who doesn't even respect me to begin with.

So, I just stay quiet and look forward to the end of the assignment.
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Default Jan 11, 2023 at 03:36 PM
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Sorry you are in such a bad work environment, Motts. I was in a bad work environment for 3 years. I went and got my degree and then changed professions. Not sure if that is an option for you? HUGS if wanted, kit

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