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blueparakeet78
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Default Apr 09, 2023 at 10:55 PM
  #1
I'm so curious how people decide their careers. And I don't mean just regular 9-5 job type careers because most 9-5 jobs for majority are just that - 'jobs' to earn a living. Those are easy to decide.

I'm talking about careers or jobs that people do that they are passionate about, really enjoy, devote their entire lives to, and wouldn't trade for another career. For example an engineer who is an expert in earthquake proof buildings, an artist who specializes in glass art, a university professor researching something, a local farmer expert in growing microgreens etc.

How do they determine, or find, what it is they like to do? How did they determine that they have a passion for that particular field?

This is what I am struggling with. I always wanted to be successful at something. To be a professional in a field, an authority in a subject, or an expert at doing something. But never in my life could I pick a specific field that said to me 'that is what I want to devote my entire life to'. I always look at those successful people, and I'm so jealous. I wanted to be that person but I don't feel like I ever will. And in fact it's gotten to the point where I've completely given up on trying.

I just can't figure it out, and the more time that passes, the less time I have in life to become that which I always wanted to be.
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Default Apr 10, 2023 at 12:51 PM
  #2
Great and important question! Thanks for posting it. I hope you get lots of responses!

I think it helps some people to take out a sheet of paper and try to put into words what their deepest values are and what is most important to them.

Now sometimes depression and other mental illnesses if left untreated or under treated can make this difficult or even impossible. So there's that.

When I was young I wanted a job where I could sit down most of time but one where I didn't have to interact with loads of people. And I wanted a job where I could help people and feel that each day I made some little difference in the lives of others.

There is something called the difference between inner values and introjected values. Heard of it?

Interjected values are values passed on by parents, teachers and others. Some people pursue these "introjected" values but feel unhappy and empty inside. The reason is that these are values placed on them by others and not their true values.

I was raised with values like: work hard, be a winner, get the upper hand in relationships and dealing with others, be "macho", don't make mistakes, strive endlessly. Be suspicious of things like joy and peace of mind.

I pursued these for awhile but felt empty until I realized they are "introjected" values, not mine. Perhaps you are in a somewhat similarly situation. I don't know.

The happiest I ever was when I was working on a kind of suicide prevention chat line. I thought the stress might do me in but found it ok and it was so rewarding to me personally to have the chance to maybe save a human life.

Now this kind of thing might be a total turnoff to you or others. But I think it might in some case be helpful to try to take some time to figure out what is important to you or what your core values are. Maybe I am wrong.

My hero was Oskar Schindler the Holocaust rescuer. He was pretty much a failure at life. Bad at relationships. Bad at business. He had lots of bad habits and was not the neatest person in the world. He neglected a lot of things that others thought important.

But he is not remembered for this.

He is remembered for rescuing thousands of people from the Holocaust. When one finds one's core values, one can kind of let other values slip. Sadly after the Holocaust, Schindler was very poor and had to sell light bulbs door to door to make ends meet.

But he is known as a real hero. And thousands of people visit his grave each year to pray for him and honor him.

You mention "what you always wanted to be." What is that? Perhaps that might be a good place to start?

Sorry I could not be helpful to you. Hopefully others here will make up for my deficits and be able to help you. I wish you all good things!
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Default Apr 11, 2023 at 11:07 AM
  #3
Believe it or not I am in the same boat. I keep changing my career path every week like a 7 year old child. I honestly don't know how people can just be so sure of what they want to do. Right now I'm reading a book on Business and Finance, tomorrow it will be something else. At this rate, I might as well open a flipping book shop because that's all my life is now... just books and trying to picture myself in a certain profession, I talk a lot but never act or is consistent on one thing. I have the passion but the drive to actually do it is another thing entirely, ill see someone else in a great profession and then I'll try find out about it and dabble with it for a while and get bored and move on. You couldn't make it up Lol
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Default Apr 11, 2023 at 12:05 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yaowen View Post
There is something called the difference between inner values and introjected values. Heard of it?

Interjected values are values passed on by parents, teachers and others. Some people pursue these "introjected" values but feel unhappy and empty inside. The reason is that these are values placed on them by others and not their true values.

I was raised with values like: work hard, be a winner, get the upper hand in relationships and dealing with others, be "macho", don't make mistakes, strive endlessly. Be suspicious of things like joy and peace of mind.
Yeah I have been aware of this for a long time, but it's so hard to separate them out from what is truly your own values. I think it's because society and relatives have ingrained these values in us since very young age and they almost become who we are as adults. We believe that is what we identify as. Its just so hard to figure out if something I value is actually my own or not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gavreel View Post
Believe it or not I am in the same boat. I keep changing my career path every week like a 7 year old child. I honestly don't know how people can just be so sure of what they want to do. Right now I'm reading a book on Business and Finance, tomorrow it will be something else. At this rate, I might as well open a flipping book shop because that's all my life is now... just books and trying to picture myself in a certain profession, I talk a lot but never act or is consistent on one thing. I have the passion but the drive to actually do it is another thing entirely, ill see someone else in a great profession and then I'll try find out about it and dabble with it for a while and get bored and move on. You couldn't make it up Lol
Wow you sound like me. I always start things too then drop it and never dive deep or continue, then move onto something else. I think it's ok to do this when you're young and are trying to find what you like. But as you get older I think there has to come a point where I wish something would stick.

I also talk a lot too but don't act. One day I was looking into a starting an online business and was so hyped up after watching some youtube videos about other peoples success. I was like man just wait until everyone sees me driving my brand new car I'll be able to afford etc. I researched it for a while, what I had to do, then as the days passed, all that was left were the sound of crickets, and nothing came of anything lol
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Default Apr 11, 2023 at 05:24 PM
  #5
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Originally Posted by blueparakeet78 View Post
I always wanted to be successful at something. To be a professional in a field, an authority in a subject, or an expert at doing something. But never in my life could I pick a specific field that said to me 'that is what I want to devote my entire life to'. I always look at those successful people, and I'm so jealous. I wanted to be that person but I don't feel like I ever will. And in fact it's gotten to the point where I've completely given up on trying.
Most of the people I know who are really excellent and respected in their fields just sort of landed in those positions due to a fortuitous combination of education/preparation and talent. One friend who is a respected academic in humanities simply went to a very high-level high school which left him with extremely strong Latin and Greek - so he went with it. He did, however, have a talent for languages. Another colleague was a very annoying kid who never wanted to study, but had great talent for math - his parents forced him to study and develop his mathematical talent, and again, he's now a very respected academic in biochemistry.

I didn't know what I wanted to do, but in my early 20s I had to figure something out for myself so I went with computers. I'd always liked computers--that was all the reasoning behind the decision. I took a few random C++ classes at a local college, ended up getting my degree in compsci, ended up getting a masters in compsci, ended up getting a phd, etc. But it all started with those C++ courses I took part-time at that no-name college.

You don't necessarily need to know exactly what you want, but you do need enough of a direction to start building your foundation. Being an "expert in a field" means having a solid foundation in something and expanding from there. The harder the field you choose is, the less competition - so pick the hardest thing you think you can feasibly do and then start small, for example by building up your college credits. This path takes maturity and patience - once on it, you can't change your mind and drop everything to strike off in a different direction.

I've had several friends who were smart and talented and could have done almost anything they wanted with their lives, but because they were never able to actually decide what they wanted to do, they ended up drifting for decades. Avoid that at all costs, even if it means choosing something "randomly." In the end, most of what happens in people's lives is random and that's true too for people who seem exceptional.

You might also like to read Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers." It might help you change some aspects of your perspective.

Good luck!
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Default Apr 20, 2023 at 06:59 AM
  #6
My working life has been a series of different careers, some planned, other's not so much.

When I went for my BA, my father told me to study whatever I was interested in, and worry about finding a job later. As a result I did a double major in English literature and philosophy, pretty much unemployable majors, but hey I had fun.

My only early objective for a career was I wanted to be like one of my aunts who was one of the few adult females in my life who had a successful business career. I wanted an expense account, a company car, autonomy, and travel for work, oh and a good salary so that I could afford nice clothes and jewellery. I achieved it - got a job in sales and was quite successful in it, but I was bored, and travelling across Canada 4 times a year started to get old.

So from there I moved into product development thinking it would be more intellectually challenging than sales, and it was but I hated it. But while I was in that job I went back to school at night and earned an MBA in finance. I had intended to major in marketing, but when I took the intro courses I hated marketing and loved finance so I switched to it.

Just as I was graduating from my MBA my company was going through a merger and as a result there were openings in the finance department, so I was able to flip into that without changing companies. Then I realized I needed more accounting knowledge than I had got in the finance specialization, so I went back to school again and got my accounting designation. That was my second major career stint, working in corporate accounting, and I loved it.

Unfortunately I ultimately had to leave the work force due to mental health and addictions struggles and it took me a long time to get back to work. Now I'm working in mental health as a peer support worker and I really enjoy it. It doesn't have the same financial perks that I enjoyed in my prior jobs, but it feels good to be able to be open about my history at work, and knowing I'm helping people.

Not sure what the next chapter will be.

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How did successful professionals decide what they are passionate about?
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Default Jun 16, 2023 at 07:46 AM
  #7
I would strongly recommend the book "So good they canīt ignore you" by Cal Newport. He makes the case that the whole idea of "finding" your passion is actually a misunderstanding of how passion works, and that passion is actually something that is built over time. He claims that the idea of there being some job out there that matches your pre-existing passion, waiting to be discovered, more often than not keeps people stuck in a vicious cycle of job switching, because thatīs simply not how it works.

Instead, according to Newport, there is likely multiple paths that could turn into a passion for any given individual. Itīs all about finding something that matches your personality trait structure, that you find meaningful, and actually sticking to it long enough to get good at it. When you stick to it you start building competence and connections within the field, which fosters intrinsic motivation (drawing on ideas from the highly validated self determination theory in psychology), and along with it you also build career capital. Career capital, in turn, will grant you ever increasing degrees of freedom in how you structure your work, which creates a sense of autonomy, further fostering intrinsic motivation (not to mention the fact that the details of what your work day looks like is likely as important to work satisfaction as the nature of the work itself).

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Default Jun 20, 2023 at 01:22 PM
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Really great question and really great answers. This thread is helping me, too.
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Default Jun 25, 2023 at 07:37 PM
  #9
For me, mental health became my passion when I started to find stability and
Realized I had to
Become an advocate!

Now I’m
Starting my masters of social
Work degreeZ

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