Hope for employment

Although I cant be called unemployed in strictest sense as I keep doing something or the other for keeping myself occupied. I have done all kinds of menial jobs after doing graduation in engineering from one of the top institutes.I believe I did work the hardest I could and I have no doubt but just did not apply as much smartness as expected.!! They say smart work is always better than Hard Work!! and I totally agree now!! But I believe there are other factors as well required for success at the corporate level !! One of that and I am saying in India specially with the kind of population we have, that Nepotism is a huge factor in it too. Many in India get jobs only because of nepotism, they have some sort of uncles that help them all their careers. If not nepotism, then favoritism works!! They say Emotional Intelligence is a huge factor for relying on favoritism!! But the question is how does one develop EQ when you are already in a state of low self esteem,low confidence due to endless rejections not just professionally but even in terms of personal life ,as when your are financiallly unsound nobody bothers to even care about you. I keep getting talks of EQ but where the hell do I begin with in such a state of mind?

I am sorry you are having to struggle.

There are many factors that affect employment. You mention nepotism in your country. And it is certainly a factor. I don't know much abut India but I believe you when you say it is a huge factor where you live.

Luck is another factor. We are not all-knowing, all-powerful beings who can control everything. We are subject to surprises, good and bad ones.

I know a bit about aviation engineering and find that even engineers who are doing everything in their power to make aircraft safe, sometimes are surprised by things they did not anticipate. They try to anticipate anything that could go wrong but there are still unhappy surprises.

Clinical Depression can affect a person's outlook, mood, personal skills, motivation, self-esteem and a host of other factors. Do you think that you might suffer from clinical depression? Low self-esteem is a strong marker for this illness.

I worked in low paying jobs although I was highly educated. Suffering from depression, but not knowing it, I dropped out of graduate school just weeks before receiving my PhD.

And even though I could have gotten good jobs with a Master's Degree, I settled for low paying work. Of course the job market at the time was very poor, unemployment was very high. There were certain bad luck elements involved, but I think if I had not been burdened with clinical depression I might have handled things better.

Obviously medication for clinical depression does not make one a superman. But it allows one to experience things as a normal person as opposed to experiencing them as a depressed person.

And sometimes that can increase the odds of success in personal matters and in career matter. It isn't magic or anything.

Self-esteem comes from being an absolutely unique human being, a human being who has never existed before or will exist again. This uniqueness cannot be taken from you. It is written into your very being. You have value because of it.

This value doesn't have to be earned. It is sort of like royalty. A prince or princess is born to those titles. They start at the top. They don't have to earn their worth. They are born with it. They may fail at things, even many things, but they are always a prince or princess. Self-worth is like that.

You are unique and you have unique things to offer to the world that no one else does. You bring something into the universe that was never there before. That is your great dignity and value. Even a diamond dropped in the mud is still a diamond.

I think it is important, perhaps to try not to give up on yourself even when things are opposing you and trying to chain you down.

While we are not free to choose everything that happens to us, we are free to choose what attitude we will take to these things.

All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a little candle.

There have been people who seemed to be failures in their lives who upon reaching a certain age: 30, 40, 50 and so on, went on to do great things.

I believe you have greatness within you and that you will be given the chance to show it.

Greatness can be had even in the worst of circumstances. People unjustly imprisoned have endured and shown heroic virtue by enduring the unendurable. I know a person with stage 4 cancer who has shown heroic nobility and virtue in their last years on this earth.

I hope you will not let nepotism and favoritism and the rest of the burdens you mentioned, destroy your spirit. There is certainly greatness in you.

Having a low paying job does not prevent one from greatness because there are many paths to it. People with miserable careers and personal lives have become great or rather have revealed the greatest within them. I think here of Oskar Schindler and people like him.

I am so very sorry that you are terribly burdened with misfortunes that you did not ask for and which are unwelcome. I hope some good luck will come your way to open some doors for you personally and in your work life.

Wish I knew how to help you but I am a fellow struggler. Best to you!

That's tough. People can be hard to understand.

I'd try to understand your strengths and weaknesses and use those to your advantage. Highlight your strengths, and be honest about your weaknesses (like you are being honest here with us), and try to accurately convey your thought processes as to why you do the things you do, and how you can be an asset to their company.