I hate my job and there is nothing I can do about it

First, I cannot leave. In 7 years I will get a solid pension and I need to stick it out for 7 years. But I am so miserable.

The basic problem is too much work and poor management. And it never ever changes no matter how much we complain.

My boss has been urging me to take a long vacation for a long time. I had grave concerns about doing so but decided to give it a try. It did not work out. All the things i feared happened. First, my job just cannot stop and he refuses to stop it. So I have to get coverage. Beyond the fact that getting coverage was a nightmare and still is... which irritates the crud out of me and takes up so much time.... everyone who "covered" for me just kicked the work down the road. As usual. So now, when I return, I have two weeks worth of work, just everyone will want it done right now because they have been waiting two weeks.

I have "customers" who can be abusive and I am the spokesperson but other people control when the work gets done. So in a sense... they force me to deal with abuse... and I am about to blow my top.

Finally, after the pandemic my physical body just can't take going into work. I mean literally. I don't know what happened, but after about 3 days I can hardly stand. This is making me panic about going back. I have joined a gym to try to get my strength up but more and more I am starting to think it is just because commuting into work is so miserable and legit takes a ton of energy. My fit bit has me at 8K steps on the days I go in. 2K on the days I am home.

Going forward I am going to cancel much of my vacation time. It just isn't worth the hassle to get coverage and I end up far more miserable on the days I return after a "break". Because I can't get the work done and I am forever missing things. Because I am scheduled to do things at 10 am on the day I return and it takes about 4 hours to even read my emails.

I have been there 20 years and it just never changes. No one will get us help... everyone is always demanding that we do things right now. No one plans ahead...

I swear it feels like prison, but prison would be less stressful.

1. You can quit. You won't get the pension but you can find a job that is more fitting to you, less stressful and more fulfilling. Life is short. Truthfully 7 years is too long to stay in a miserable job imo.

2. If you choose to stay, practice self care and do things you enjoy on the side as much as you can.

I know what you mean about pension.

Not only you likely contribute significant portion of your salary towards pension (typically it’s just not just state, you add your own), but also that’s how you planned to live in retirement. Sure many people don’t have pensions but they plan their retirement differently. You have plans for pension. Otherwise you’ll eat cat foot.

No I don’t recommend you quit.

But let me ask you if you could go in a different facility in the same field and still keep your pension? In my field I don’t have to be in a specific building to keep my pension, just in the same network so to speak. I’d lose some money if I go elsewhere, but not the pension

I don't think so. I have tried to do that before and they won't even consider me. Ultimately I am good at my job so they don't want to lose me in that role. I think at my age no matter what job I would apply for -- in or out of the workplace - they don't want to hire me. The workplace is very much against people moving around or getting any respite from jobs they are sick of. There is also no place to get promoted. Essentially I am at the top. The next step is management but they will not let anyone from the "lower classes" get up there. One did, tried to change things, and quit in frustration.

Yesterday I went into work for one day. And I came home exhausted and in pain. And this is after a month going to the gym. I think it is just something about being in person for the entire day that exhausts my body.

It is exhausting. I don’t know if you commute to work too. For me it’s long commute that just gets to me. Very tiring. I get it.

And my boss is doing a new thing which is very hurtful to me. He seems to want to extend the day for me as long as possible. So my "end time" is 5:00 PM. And I try to leave around 4:50 just to make the train. But I still have my phone with email so there is almost nothing I can't do with that for the 10 minutes that I would be gone.

First, he started with this... we get work to do all through the day, at 9 am, 1 pm, 3 pm and ever single one of them he sets up for execution at 4:30, 4:45, and 5. (and execution takes a few minutes) so I absolutely will miss my train. And what you have to know is that the trains are so bad that if you miss the first one, they get delayed. So if you go for the second at rush hour it could be 10 minutes late. And beyond that.. there are no more seats at the station anymore because the homeless sleep there so if the train is late... get stand for the 30 minutes or so I am at the station.

Second, there is one thing I can't do from the phone, that is put these packages on the shared drive. Also, no one else can do that because it is limited to people who have access. Now, he keeps demanding that anything that people want to do after hours be put on the drive. EVEN THOUGH HE CAN DO THAT.

IMHO, a clear sign that he is trying to keep me late. The rule is, and has always been that I work during "regular business hours" but our "customers" refuse to do that. He gets paid 3X what I do, so, if something comes in outside of regular business hours, he has to deal with it himself -- but he is always trying to push me to spend my night dealing with it, even though it doesn't help him at all.

My friend says I should talk to him about but I can't. First, after 20+ years of bosses doing this exact same thing to me, it is hurtful and demeaning in a way that I don't think I could have a conversation without crying. And second, I have lost faith that if he is doing this -- that it isn't on purpose. How could I believe otherwise? I have worked with him for years and every year more demeaning work comes my way.

I fear our relationship is falling into passive agressive games like my last boss, but I don't really know how to stop it. I don't trust that talking to him would do anything but make him angry. All of the people he works with do this too. And all of their employees stay late. I have tried to get them not to but they all do.

And then I got into a fight this week with another manager. Basically, I am not allowed to have leave during certain time periods per year. However, those things can be imposed at a moments notice.

So I put in for leave in February. My boss didn't act on the slips ... I requested coverage in Early June -- no response, in early July, another boss put this non leave time down during one of my vacations. Notice of this is posted on a common board. Then my other boss, approved my slips. Leading me to believe that I was going to get coverage.

So I tried to talk to my boss... I emailed him, I tried to see him when he was in... several times. He never responded. And he had people with him when I went in... I asked him to email me... he didn't.

Finally three days before leave... he says, I can't have the leave because one of these periods has happened. He says that he approved the slips not knowing I had one of these time periods -- Yes, because you didn't do any checking and when I tried to talk to you about it you ignored me.

In addition, he is full of it. There are plenty of times that I have had people tell me they were covering on this period and I wasn't asking that they do any of the difficult work. The time I was asking for was the easiest period.

So I can't have the leave. The leave I requested in February wasted my time trying to get approved. My leave is an illusion. It can be taken away at any time for people they like better. It is not first come first serve.

I would say I was out, but how to I interview when I can't get time off?

This whole fight made me angry and I came home with a headache and tested by BP. It was 150/90. I am too old for this crap and they know they have me because I have 7 years left.

It’s aggravating. Could you take sick days/emergency personal days though and use those for interviews?

My husband’s work place has really hard policy on taking days off/vacations. You could be denied, only allowed if you find someone to work for you etc When he requests vacation time, he specifies that this is family big event/family wedding etc that involves tickets that were already purchased. They’ve been times that he called sick because they didn’t allow him to take a day off requested 3 months ahead of time. It’s a constant stress.

So I think your option is just call sick every time they deny your vacation time and when requesting vacations specify that it’s a family thing with tickets already purchased. At this point I’d lie. Nephew’s wedding etc you are in a wedding party etc

I think if I did that (call out sick when I wanted leave time during these times i am not supposed to have leave) they would have me in disciplinary proceedings they won't play these games.

I also feel that way about an interview. It is going to get noticeable if I keep calling out sick to interview with other places.

My boss always says I should travel but I think he is out of his mind. I am not risking 4K in travel to have my other boss deny my leave at the last second.

It is the point as well - leave shouldn't be decided based on what you are doing with that leave? It should be first come - first serve. I don't understand what the point of leave is if you have to go through this kind of insanity. I don't understand the point of a manager if they don't manage.

Thanks, it is frustrating. I am considering my options. I am going to start calling out sick more. Just to get them used to it.

Well yeah it shouldn’t be based on what you do with your vacation days but if they make it hard then you got to jump through their hoops. What should be and what’s really happening isn’t the same thing.

Well how often would you be going to interviews that they’d question it?

I think it matters what’s important for you. Like ideally you’d never have to lie or explain why you need vacation days. But in reality apparently you can’t get those days otherwise. So you have some choices to make.

You have high blood pressure. It’s a serious concern. They’ll have discipline proceedings if you take a day for that? They’d have to look for proof that you did not have high blood pressure. They’d have lawsuits on their hands if they had disciplinary proceeding against people with health issues taking sick days.

I know it appears that the management runs the show. And they do. But you aren’t powerless and without any rights. It can’t be that no one ever takes vacations or travels or takes sick days in your work place. I am sure they do. Maybe find out how they manage to get those and play the game

I would say 2 days calling in sick - unless they were in a row would put me on their radar. 1x if I called in sick when I was on the "must be in times". It would be less questioned if I called out stick 3 or 4 days in a row. But just for one day? They are going to question.

It doesn't matter what you say... if you call out sick, they don't bring you up on disiplinary proceedings for that... they start noticing that x wasn't done on time. Or that you were late three time last month. That is the game.

The people who get leave are their favorites.

Dang. I assume it’s a non-union job, going by he they blatantly disregard any human decency.

Yes. My job was sold to me as a place with compassion and kindness and they like to pretend that is the case but they are insanely evil.

I have for a while thought that I need to "quit" on my own in order to have any chance at getting another job. But at 53 that is dangerous to do. I just don't know if I can do this much longer.

I downloaded a "time to retirement" clock and it turns out I am 7 years and 28 days away from retirement. Ugh.

Yes. Finally I am done with the worst parts of my job. I spent 5 + weeks going to work. And on my final day I set a record for walking (for me) on my fitbit.

I am now expected to not have to go in again until December. (maybe one or two days).

Also...for much of my last few weeks I have been dealing with sort of the public and I like to take an approach of fun with the public that I take care of. I think they like it. So they told me they liked it and -- they were very positive. I mean truly I think some of them wanted to get to know me in real life.

But when they were done my boss went up to talk to them. As he always does to talk about the subject matter that they were there for. He thought they were going to talk about that.. but all they did was talk about me. So that was gratifying. Also my part in the thing comes at the end and I know for some reason my boss thinks I am incapable of doing it right. And even though I had to read 10 pages -- with big words -- out loud, I did it perfectly. It is tricky too because I have to start reading right after I do a lot of walking.

Sometimes you get a group that you can't stand but when you get a group that is good it can be fun.

Ahh -- 7 more years to retirement.

I am glad to hear that public liked you. That’s a good feel!

So you’ll work from home now? No more commute. I know you prefer that.

I hate working from home but I hate commute just as bad. During pandemics we were in person but one Friday a month we worked from home because they deep cleaned the building. It was our favorite thing of all times. One day a month not to drive. It was heaven

Yes, mostly from home. My commute is unbearable. It is 2 hours because the public transportation is so bad. Yesterday I went in again and they had a train to a concert. Departing 10 minutes before my train to the same end location. I had no idea it was happening. Well of course the crowd for that was late... that train was late... and it delayed the rest of the line 30 minutes. Thanks, thanks so much.

I would like to start driving in (not that it is much better) but I think I won't do that until closer to retirement.

And here we go again.

Since I started my job - my "class" has had too much work. I mean insane work that can't possibly be done in 40 hours a week. About every 5 years we are asked to try to justify to higher ups why we need help.

And every time, we don't get the help help we need.

This time the person asking has actually done some good stuff. So I tried to explain to her the reasons... and she came back with a question that made me doubt if she could understand.

In addition... I feel gaslit. This person has actual data to try to justify the work. There are three categories of persons..

1. Has management duties and data entry. Their data entry average per month is 134 entries per month

2. Has no management duties and only data entry. Their data entry average per month is 278 entries per month.

3. My group. Has management duties AND data entry. Our group does about 280 entries per month.

After viewing these numbers, imho clearly my group has way more work than the other two groups. In fact if we were to say that my group should be standard for work that can fit in an 8 hour day... then, clearly the other two groups have extra time per day. (but obviously the assumption is that we should work more than that).

But I was stunned to see in the memo, that management thinks these numbers are comparable. What? Even agreeing that my group has the management and data entry and has double data entry of the other group that has both things to do.

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

I only have 7 more years until retirement but, I am just done.

What actually happens if you do less work? Obviously the backlog increases, but what is the impact? I am sorry if this sounds glib, but I am assuming the sky will not fall down. If we compare national debt, what happens when the USA does not pay it off is the debt increases (it is currently $33tn) and still nobody pays it off so it will rise further and further and the sky will still not fall down.

You get harassed put on PIP plans and eventually fired.

One person I worked with refused to do the work. He did get two years of pay while he was refusing to do the job but eventually they made him resign or be fried.

I think the only reason they are even talking about this is because of what happened with him.

You might want to look into how your pension plan works. If you leave, you should be able to either A) Leave in the portion that you've contributed to so far, and get a partial pension when you retire or B) cash in the plan value and self-manage it. They normally can't just take away your pension when you leave, or just refund your contributions. You should be entitled to anything you contributed to the plan plus whatever interest it has made on investments.

I left my job of 22 years because it was destroying my mental and physical health. My grandfather died on the day he retired, and my father died 1.5 years after he retired. No way was I going to take that chance. No pension is worth your health.