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Anonymous43372
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Default Aug 09, 2023 at 07:00 PM
  #1
So, I took a 2 week front desk temp job starting this week. I'm so tired of temping and today's experience with a non-manager just validates the underside of the temp world that is: people view temps as invisible, non-humans.

I was at the front desk, filling out my online timecard when one of the staff came and grabbed the mouse out of my hand and proceeded to use my computer without acknowledging me.

I'm so used to being treated like dirt at temp jobs, that I just sat there silent. Eventually she finished what she was doing and left the front desk area without even acknowledging my presence.

I've been doing virtual interviews for full-time jobs for nearly 4 months with no job offers, and I'm just mentally frazzled and physically exhausted. I have anxiety and insomnia again and spent an hour in my car weeping today, over my lunch hour.

Two people who work with this staff member saw what she did and didn't say or do anything. They also didn't acknowledge my existence. I'm not going to say anything to my temp agency recruiter because I need to complete this temp job.
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Default Aug 10, 2023 at 08:39 PM
  #2
I am so sorry that happened to you. Sometimes people can be so clueless and cruel. You are definitely not "invisible" here on these Forums. We respect and treasure you. Hope you find full-time work soon!
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Default Aug 11, 2023 at 08:23 AM
  #3
Try to remember that people who behave the way you describe are making statements about themselves not you. Yes, there are a lot of self centered people out there in this world. It can get depressing.
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Default Aug 11, 2023 at 08:50 AM
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So rude. Wouldn’t even say they had to use a computer for a minute. Atrocious behavior
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Default Aug 11, 2023 at 08:52 AM
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I am so sorry that happened to you. Sometimes people can be so clueless and cruel. You are definitely not "invisible" here on these Forums. We respect and treasure you. Hope you find full-time work soon!
Yes, sometimes people can be very clueless and cruel. I'm just feeling very sensitive these days. Maybe she didn't do it intentionally but it sure felt intentional. Like, her subconscious way of telling me that I'm not important.

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Try to remember that people who behave the way you describe are making statements about themselves not you. Yes, there are a lot of self centered people out there in this world. It can get depressing.
It seems like her statement is that she's important and the people around her are not. That's definitely what her actions communicated to me. She is very self-centered, because someone kind and respectful wouldn't treat another person that way. Being kind to the temp (me), is not on her list of work priorities at all. Yuck. It's very depressing.
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Default Aug 11, 2023 at 09:18 PM
  #6
People that behave the way you describe lack self awareness. In other words they lack in the ability to recognize how their behaviors affect others. In the particular case this woman did not even acknowledge your existence.

Very poor/low quality person.
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Default Aug 11, 2023 at 10:02 PM
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People that behave the way you describe lack self awareness. In other words they lack in the ability to recognize how their behaviors affect others. In the particular case this woman did not even acknowledge your existence.

Very poor/low quality person.
Thank you for your post, Open Eyes. I agree. I think she doesn't have the self-awareness or the interest in being collaborative in her work environment; that is, to think about how her words and actions affect her coworkers, even me, the temp.

She has been there for 3 years; her coworker has been there for 3 years, and their boss has been there for 9 years. All they've done this week is ignore me, and then complain to each other and talk about the people who live in this Section 8 building as if they were all losers. These are people who have nobody; they are on work release from jail, coming out of being homeless, unemployed, recovering addicts, recovering alcoholics, mentally ill, some have physical and mental disabilities too. There is a nonprofit organization whose case workers are assigned to work with the tenants in the building to create a plan for them to 1) find employment 2) get a checking account 3) continue their treatment plan 4) attend group therapy 5) stay clean 6) pay their bills, buy their groceries, etc.

Yes, I'm stuck working with three very desensitized people who lack self-awareness and whose callousness is either from feeling emotionally burnout as the property managers of this building, which according to them has been mismanaged for the past twenty years.

I'm just a temp. I just want to be useful. I want to be treated with respect. I was told this job has the potential to be extended. I need the money so I would tough it out, if my assignment gets extended.

At least it's an easy job and I can ignore these three people and focus my energy on helping the vulnerable tenants who are all trying to exist and be happy with where they're at.

Is it a toxic work environment? Definitely. The nonprofit office in the back, is behind locked doors. I went to use the bathroom back there and saw a coffee pot FULL of old, cold coffee with green mold spores floating inside it.

When I let the 3 staff know, they all just shrugged and stared at me, like I just wasted their time with unimportant information. If this building is so mismanaged due to funding or lack of staff, why is that my fault? I'm a temp.

Since it's easier to get a job when you have a job, as toxic as the work environment is there, I'd stay for the stable paycheck while I continue to job search. I've kept a spreadsheet and so far I've applied to 70 jobs since May with no job offers and 15 interviews. Those are terrible odds but I know that it's like this for everyone; the job market is tough.
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Default Aug 11, 2023 at 11:15 PM
  #8
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When I let the 3 staff know, they all just shrugged and stared at me, like I just wasted their time with unimportant information. If this building is so mismanaged due to funding or lack of staff, why is that my fault? I'm a temp.
It’s not your fault, None of what you are witnessing is.

The people you are dealing with have zero desire to contribute anything positive. These people don’t even try to make the best of anything. They just exist and punch a time clock they are basically Zombies.

You can have respect for the fact that this place provides a rehabilitative step ladder. That comes from your deep respect for education. These co workers can’t see that and instead can only stand in judgement of
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Default Aug 14, 2023 at 12:29 PM
  #9
Seriously, these 3 people are super toxic to me. And...why? I'm just the temp.

Example 1:

A tenant asked for a new fob/key. They have a wall cupboard of fobs and keys. I could have easily programmed the fob and given the tenant a new apt key, by taking one of the extra keys off of his apt # hook.

Did the two guys/staff members let me? Nope.
The poor tenant has been waiting 4 hours and these two guys couldn't be bothered to give me the task to take over.

Example 2:

They don't communicate with me at all - and there's zero training so I don't have a list of the full extend of what my tasks are to help tenants with, other than answer the phone and input maintenance requests.

There are daily events that take place here, run by outside volunteers. These two guys don't have a list of the volunteers or events to give to me, so that I can be informed to answer tenants' questions, and help set up/break down the events (coffee and donuts, etc.) and attend so that I could get to know the tenants.

Example 3:

Territorial behavior from the two guys. The front desk is long and has two chairs. One chair is in front of 3 monitors, which the security guards sit overnight at. I could sit there too, but I sit on the second chair next to the 3 monitors with the laptop the main office manager gave me to use for work requests etc. The 2 of the 3 monitors are cameras and the 3 monitor is the property mgmet email that's open. So I wouldn't use it anyway.

So, i sit off to the side and the tenants all know me. They like my ice breaker "trivia questions" that I write on the white board with the day's high/low temperatures too.

The territorial male behavior (equivalent to a male dog kicking up dirt after he poops) is today when the property manager took MY chair to sit and view the cameras instead of sitting in the middle chair in front of the 3 monitors.

He did that to claim his territory from me, "the temp" because I have to assume that he ignores me, dismisses me, because 1) I'm a temp and 2) he HATES the positive feedback that the tenants and the nonprofit case workers give him about my positive presence at the front desk.

He was a total **** too, ignoring me standing behind him. He didn't say anything to me or even acknowledge my existence.

He wouldn't even answer my question, "Will you extend my contract for this role?" So, I have to assume "no," he won't. He's just too arrogant or can't be bothered to treat me with respect. Hopefully, his supervisor will respond to my email question. Otherwise, fine. I'll just finish the week.

Meanwhile, I continue to apply for jobs. What else can I control?
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Default Aug 14, 2023 at 03:00 PM
  #10
Well, my Monday just got more interesting.

A stray Siamese male kitten either came into the apt building where I'm temping, or one of the homeless residents let it out of his/her apartment. I spoke to one of the case workers as the two guys/property management staff are busy, and got permission to take the kitten back to my apartment, so I did.

When I came back, I asked the property mgr what he wanted me to do. He responded, "I don't know. Call animal control?" I'm going to be here until the end of the week. If none of the tenants ask about a lost kitten, I guess I've just become the new owner of a kitten (not that I mind at all).

At the very least, getting a free kitten from a temp job where the work environment is toxic for multiple reasons, makes me glad I stuck it out.
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Default Aug 14, 2023 at 06:12 PM
  #11
Nothing you can do to change the toxic bully type person you are describing. People like this play games to get a reaction. They consider any reactions a win and a good “feed”.

When your contract is up you can write a higher up and share what you observed.

Always remember these behaviors reflect a person who is a nothing and doesn’t feel they exist until they get another person to react. Neglected toddler behavior or even a toddler jealous when a younger sibling is born and suddenly they are no longer the center of attention. This can lead to these teasing games to get the younger sibling to complain and annoy the parent. The older sibling then plays the victim to regain attention and favor.

Last edited by Open Eyes; Aug 14, 2023 at 08:18 PM..
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Default Aug 14, 2023 at 08:57 PM
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Nothing you can do to change the toxic bully type person you are describing. People like this play games to get a reaction. They consider any reactions a win and a good “feed”.

When your contract is up you can write a higher up and share what you observed.

Always remember these behaviors reflect a person who is a nothing and doesn’t feel they exist until they get another person to react. Neglected toddler behavior or even a toddler jealous when a younger sibling is born and suddenly they are no longer the center of attention. This can lead to these teasing games to get the younger sibling to complain and annoy the parent. The older sibling then plays the victim to regain attention and favor.
Thank you for responding to my post. I feel better having read it.

I agree with your perceptive toddler analogy. He is definitely projecting his own "issues" onto me like a neglected child jealous that the tenants are excited to have someone at the front desk again (I guess it's been about 5 years with no front desk person).

That tenant still never received his reprogrammed fob/key today b/c the property manager wouldn't let me make the copy (I'm just a temp).

That kitten belonged to a tenant who leaves her door open when she and her boyfriend use weed (which is legal now to do in my state) and are so high, they don't know up front down/right from left. She came asking for the kitten two hours after I brought it home.

I found out she had a second kitten and when I went into her apt (invited), it was a hoarding situation. So, I asked her if she and her boyfriend would let me adopt their kittens for $125 and they agreed. So, now I have 2 kittens in my apt.

The nonprofit manager said she'd recommend me for one of the jobs that her nonprofit is hiring for. I forgot to write down her colleague's name but I did print out my resume and gave it to her before I left for the day. My hope is to see her tomorrow, and ask her for her colleague's name so I can add that to a cover letter before I fill out my online application.

I'm tired of failing life's tests though...I posted about it in another thread. I get my hopes up, just to be rejected again. Or lied to. Or manipulated because I have the bandwith of the Midwestern trope, Rose Nylun from The Golden Girls. I am so easy to manipulate. Like, I can see it happening and I don't stop it despite having the knowledge of how to stop it (not react). And even when I don't react, I get clobbered.
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Default Aug 14, 2023 at 10:24 PM
  #13
Maybe something will develop with the non profit.
I will say some prayers 🙏🙏 for you and ask Saint Anthony to help you find a job you can flourish in. ❤️
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Default Aug 15, 2023 at 09:15 AM
  #14
Fingers crossed for that job prospect. Good idea to ask her info so you can send a cover letter.

It sounds that these type of jobs are a good fit for you. It sounds rewarding. These people need the support and someone who cares.

How are the kitties doing? Are they ok settling in a new place?
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Default Aug 15, 2023 at 12:29 PM
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Maybe something will develop with the non profit.
I will say some prayers 🙏🙏 for you and ask Saint Anthony to help you find a job you can flourish in. ❤️
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Fingers crossed for that job prospect. Good idea to ask her info so you can send a cover letter.

It sounds that these type of jobs are a good fit for you. It sounds rewarding. These people need the support and someone who cares.

How are the kitties doing? Are they ok settling in a new place?
I'm really depressed now.

A classmate from my grad program who is the HR director recommended me for an admin role at her company.

I interviewed for the role then received a rejection email today.

I emailed my classmate today to ask her what happened, since she is also the hiring manager for her company.

So, she recommended me to her colleagues who were filling the role, THEN she decided to reject me without ANY email explaining her decision.

She has a masters degree like me, but chose to ignore my feelings. She sat next to me at our graduation ceremony this spring and knew that my mom died because we had class together when my mom died.

So, I'm flummoxed by her lack of respect and professionalism. Apparently, she doesn't respect me...at all.

If I had been in her shoes, I 1) wouldn't recommend a classmate whom I didn't want to hire. Or 2) I would realize my mistake, then send my classmate an email or phone call explaining my hiring decision so that I respect his/her feelings and not mess up the social connection.

I think My 30 year work history is like a cursed object from the Harry Potter movies. A Horcrux of my former, awful job-hopping self.

What the...I will never stop rolling my boulder up a hill, will I?
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Default Aug 15, 2023 at 12:33 PM
  #16
Oh and the kitties are FABULOUS. They are so happy and purring and played all morning with each other and with me before I took a shower and left for the temp job.

I am in love with the kitties. They came into my life at exactly the right time. I need someone to love and I definitely love them.
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Default Aug 15, 2023 at 12:44 PM
  #17
How awful. Did she respond? Is it possible that it wasn’t her decision not to hire you or was there someone else interviewed who they thought was better? I really don’t understand what’s happening with you not getting jobs. Gaps in employment should not be causing so many problems. I’d want an explanation so I could use it for my benefit for the next interview. Ridiculous

Honestly having masters degree doesn’t mean this woman would be so insightful all of a sudden. Nowadays one can’t get ahead without masters so everyone and their mama has it. But many people still suck. Degree doesn’t change who people are
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Default Aug 15, 2023 at 01:13 PM
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How awful. Did she respond? Is it possible that it wasn’t her decision not to hire you or was there someone else interviewed who they thought was better? I really don’t understand what’s happening with you not getting jobs. Gaps in employment should not be causing so many problems. I’d want an explanation so I could use it for my benefit for the next interview. Ridiculous

Honestly having masters degree doesn’t mean this woman would be so insightful all of a sudden. Nowadays one can’t get ahead without masters so everyone and their mama has it. But many people still suck. Degree doesn’t change who people are
Very awful because it's so unnecessary and insensitive, considering she sat next to me at our graduation ceremony and feigned comforting words to me when I told my class that my mom had died.

She's the Direct of HR so it's actually HER decision. She makes all the hiring decisions. Has for a decade.

I think I have bad references...or people like her are turned off by my personality? And don't like me?

I agree. People with employment gaps as wide as the cracks in the Grand Canyon get jobs all the time.

So, like I said, I'm Horcruxing myself somehow. I have ****ed myself over and either no one will tell me the truth why they won't hire me, or I'm just a huge asshole and don't deserve to work a real job/develop a career.

I really don't know what's happening to me. Clearly, I'm the problem. It's my resume. It's my personality. So, I'm the problem. That part is obvious.

To quote TS, "it's me. I'm the problem. It's me."

I guess I"m an anti-hero? Anti-heroes are good people but our different approach to achieve our goals doesn't fit within societal norms? Possibly?

Maybe I should just become a writer or stand up comedian. I sure as hell have 30 years worth of material I could mine material from.

Last edited by Anonymous43372; Aug 15, 2023 at 01:46 PM..
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Default Aug 15, 2023 at 02:24 PM
  #19
I don’t know how they can even find out your life philosophy during interviews unless they ask some existential questions. How do you think your personality comes across during interviews? Something maybe needs to be amped up or toned down? I want you to get a job!
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Default Aug 15, 2023 at 03:15 PM
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Seriously, these 3 people are super toxic to me. And...why? I'm just the temp.

Example 1:

A tenant asked for a new fob/key. They have a wall cupboard of fobs and keys. I could have easily programmed the fob and given the tenant a new apt key, by taking one of the extra keys off of his apt # hook.

Did the two guys/staff members let me? Nope.
The poor tenant has been waiting 4 hours and these two guys couldn't be bothered to give me the task to take over.

Example 2:

They don't communicate with me at all - and there's zero training so I don't have a list of the full extend of what my tasks are to help tenants with, other than answer the phone and input maintenance requests.

There are daily events that take place here, run by outside volunteers. These two guys don't have a list of the volunteers or events to give to me, so that I can be informed to answer tenants' questions, and help set up/break down the events (coffee and donuts, etc.) and attend so that I could get to know the tenants.

Example 3:

Territorial behavior from the two guys. The front desk is long and has two chairs. One chair is in front of 3 monitors, which the security guards sit overnight at. I could sit there too, but I sit on the second chair next to the 3 monitors with the laptop the main office manager gave me to use for work requests etc. The 2 of the 3 monitors are cameras and the 3 monitor is the property mgmet email that's open. So I wouldn't use it anyway.

So, i sit off to the side and the tenants all know me. They like my ice breaker "trivia questions" that I write on the white board with the day's high/low temperatures too.

The territorial male behavior (equivalent to a male dog kicking up dirt after he poops) is today when the property manager took MY chair to sit and view the cameras instead of sitting in the middle chair in front of the 3 monitors.

He did that to claim his territory from me, "the temp" because I have to assume that he ignores me, dismisses me, because 1) I'm a temp and 2) he HATES the positive feedback that the tenants and the nonprofit case workers give him about my positive presence at the front desk.

He was a total **** too, ignoring me standing behind him. He didn't say anything to me or even acknowledge my existence.

He wouldn't even answer my question, "Will you extend my contract for this role?" So, I have to assume "no," he won't. He's just too arrogant or can't be bothered to treat me with respect. Hopefully, his supervisor will respond to my email question. Otherwise, fine. I'll just finish the week.

Meanwhile, I continue to apply for jobs. What else can I control?
Hi, I can relate somewhat. I'm in a long job search and wake up early and have felt the stress for over 6 months. I know temp work and haven't quite had that level of rudeness to contend with. I've had more trouble w recruiters since their real allegiance is to the client. I try to stay away from. Temp work if I can.

I took a retail job as a simpler less street alternative while I looked. It was even fun at points and a good way for me to break back into work.

Office work doesn't appeal tome now in general after after doing massage therapy for 15 years. After Covid I decided any other work would be safer.

Good luck to you!!. I'm currently looking for something remote out of my home office now. I'm done with the office culture in general.
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