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Member
Member Since Dec 2022
Location: New York State
Posts: 325
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Nov 25, 2023 at 06:47 PM
#1
My direct co-worker, in very close proximity, has a volatile temper. Frequently yelling, punching her hand and angry outbursts. She is high all day. Takes extra long breaks and yells at her boyfriend on the phone.
Another co-worker across the way is very rude and sharp with her words. Some very upsetting things happened I've spoken to my boss about both of them, and I was told that's just what it's like working with women. And I need to get used to it I am seen as overly sensitive, and no one really speaks to me, so I need some coping skills while I am looking for another job FYI this is a medical office front desk so it's hard to leave and take a break some days Sent from my SM-A146U using Tapatalk Last edited by DeeeSchmeee68; Nov 25, 2023 at 07:07 PM.. |
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 Anonymous49105, unaluna
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Grand Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 803
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Nov 25, 2023 at 10:30 PM
#2
Your coworkers' behaviors are unprofessional. My therapist just started working with me on managing stressors similar to yours. The approach is mindfulness technique called RAIN, which stands for Recognize, Accept, Investigate, Nurture. How do their behaviors affect your work performance? What accommodations will your boss provide to help you succeed in this environment?
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 DeeeSchmeee68
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Member
Member Since Dec 2022
Location: New York State
Posts: 325
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Nov 26, 2023 at 06:54 AM
#3
Very good information
 I've never heard of RAIN My boss said I can leave the area when things get bad as long as I tell the head nurse and it's not too busy I am in high alert and I try not to engage her at all unless completely necessary. Stressed and isolated at work. But I think the c-ptsd makes me super sensitive to agression I hear others around me (her & the new girl) laughing and hanging out and then I feel so so sad because I don't engage with anyone Someone recommended Gray Rocking technique until I find a better job Sent from my SM-A146U using Tapatalk |
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Grand Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 803
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Nov 26, 2023 at 07:58 PM
#4
I had to look it up, but I have heard of Gray Rock technique. That should help if they feed of your reactions. There's also Box Breathing that could help manage anxiety from their behavior. Good luck!
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DeeeSchmeee68
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Member
Member Since Dec 2022
Location: New York State
Posts: 325
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Nov 27, 2023 at 12:49 PM
#5
Thanks
My counselor wrote a letter stating I need to remove myself from the environment when I get triggered Sent from my SM-A146U using Tapatalk |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,882
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Nov 27, 2023 at 07:27 PM
#6
Your boss is just as horrid as these folks. That’s how it’s to work with women? What a sexist comment. Both I and my husband work mostly with women our whole lives. I can ensure you that it’s not a common or typical “women” behavior to show up to work high and then yell and scream.
In most places they’d not keep a job and will be long gone. So I blame your management for hiring and keeping such people. Look for a different job. ASAP. |
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DeeeSchmeee68
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Grand Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 803
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Nov 27, 2023 at 08:36 PM
#7
It sounds like a place that my wife worked at. Even during the job interview, she was warned by the female office manager about the environment with a comment "you know how women can be." (I paraphrase.) The male boss only nodded but said, "I can't tell you that, but she can." But it's this boss's expectations of female behavior and acceptance of it that's the real problem.
And when our (autistic) daughter was just starting middle school, a girl might befriend her on Monday and refuse to be seen with her on Wednesday. That's how cliques affect girls' relationships. Even worse, a girl might pretend to be her friend but then backstab her by revealing something to other group of girls who would then taunt her about it. Maybe she was easy prey because of her autism -- too naive to be wary or on guard... As a male, this affects me like water on a duck's back (not at all). |
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DeeeSchmeee68
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,882
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Nov 27, 2023 at 09:32 PM
#8
It’s shocking to me that people on this thread keep repeating this is “female behavior”. It’s disturbing. So sexist. This isn’t a female behavior. It’s simply bad behavior. For any gender.
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DeeeSchmeee68
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Member
Member Since Dec 2022
Location: New York State
Posts: 325
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Nov 28, 2023 at 12:43 PM
#9
Quote:
You're right. My boss is no better accepting poor behavior because That's just how women are. I sit in the lunchroom and see and hear other women who speak kind to one another. I am definitely job hunting. This time I'll be asking what that management style is. Is it a supportive work environment? And what is the chain of command? Sent from my SM-A146U using Tapatalk |
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