I am sick of yearly job insecurity

Hello, I am a new member and I just need advice and/or encouragement. Probably more encouragement than anything. I live in the United States for reference. I have always struggled with traditional employment due to my mental health and am currently in another pickle.

I am 26 years old and I still live at home due to financial instability and insecurity for the past 3 years. I feel like a failure still living at home at my adult age. I have had depression, social anxiety, and chronic stress since my adolescence. It took years for me to even understand the nature of mental illness and my issues, such as isolating, perfectionism, limiting beliefs, and resisting reality. I say all of this to say that I am at my worst state health wise and my memory and cognition has taken a lot of damage.

I graduated with a B.S. in Nutrition and Food Science in 2020. Though I completed a DPD program (dietetics) to become a registered dietitian or dietetic technician, it wasn't until 2023 that I became a registered dietetic technician (DTR), which requires an exam to become credentialed. I am proud of myself for finally getting it but I am currently not in practice because it requires helping a dietitian and working directly with patients.

After college, I got lucky and found a job as a remote contractor position as a food and nutrition analyst, but that only lasted 5 months. I feel into a dark place mentally having felt like I wasted my college years being depressed and anxious and having lost my job after being a recent college graduate. I tried working in person in 2021 at a senior home in foodservice, but that was short lived due to the physical demands (I also have physical ailments) and feeling miserable mentally. I found a volunteer position in 2021-22 and then another paid contracting position in March 2022. My department was let go Jan 2023, I found an internship (unpaid) in March and then another paid contract position in Jun 2023. As an AI Trainer in the nutrition domain, this has been the most money I made and gave me financial stability for the first time. I was able to pay off credit card debt, afford groceries and necessities, and even have my first solo travel for my birthday. Towards the end of December and now Jan 2024, my old nightmare of less work has plagued me again.

I am over the instability and insecurity of independent contracting, but the flexible schedule fits with my unpredictable health. I can only work for 2 or 3 hours at a time before my brain fog kicks in. I also take longer at work to complete tasks then expected, which stresses me out and makes me feel like a failure. I also deal with performance anxiety daily and never feel that I am doing my best at work. I am upset about having to consider traditional work to end this cycle. I was told to do both freelancing and get a part-time job (remotely) that offers accommodations.

It would also have to require 4-hour shifts because I can't do more than that. The thing is I don't know what I want to do with my life. I know I want a job in the background not having to interact with customers, like data entry. I did meal planning during my internship, and struggled to find something like that, but will try again. I also enjoy making graphics and designing websites but people have degrees for that. My main concern is making money and reaching financial goals, like paying of medical bills (stacks and stacks) and moving out. I want something simple and low-stress that relates to nutrition so that my degree and certification doesn't feel like a waste. I found three freelance positions today (sigh) and will look for actual employee positions, but the interview process is a nightmare. I just wish employment was easy for people like me. I literally hate working, though of course I know I have no other choice.

Employment is not easy. And even people who love their jobs, be glad not to work if they didn’t have to.

Living at home in your 20s is not wrong or unusual. There are people who live at home in their 40s and 50s. I guess if their parents are around and willing to support them, who are we to judge. But 20s is perfectly common.

Your career field is exciting. It sounds like it’s versatile

Are you working with your doctor and psychiatrist to manage your brain fogs and physical ailments?

I am sorry but I have lost track of the narrative. Are you still an AI Trainer in the nutrition domain or has that gig ended?

My doctor has simply told me that it is all in my head, as in if I stop stressing my problems will be solved. He just doesn't understand how hard mental illness can be on someone. He literally made me cry in his office. I currently see a therapist biweekly. They recently told me to talk to a psychiatrist about increasing my dosage of my antidepressants, but that's not something I want to do. I have been on so many different medications over the years, and while this one has worked the best, I feel it is on me to tackle my underlying issues.

If this medication has worked the best and if the therapist you see biweekly recommends increasing its dosage to make it even more effective, why are you resisting this adjustment?

It seems logical, if you find a pharmaceutical agent that works, to look for the sweet spot where it is most useful. That would require going up and down on the dosages until you hit the sweet spot. Why are you not experimenting with that? You seem to be sabotaging your own treatment, not being a good partner in your own healthcare.

Okay, I will schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist. I didn't see this as self-sabotage. I guess my whole thing is that medication can only help so much, I've been on the same medication for a couple years now. My therapist mentioned that it can stop being as effective over time. I have my mind set on not being on medication forever and that I need to make personal changes in my thinking and behaviors to see real changes. And to answer your previous question, I am still an AI Trainer, I just didn't have any work for a few weeks which is a part of gig work and was scary. @Tart Cherry Jam

Yes, it is part of gig work. But I am glad you are still an AI trainer. Can you add hours by working as an AI trainer in the general domain or can you only work in the nutrition domain?

Yes, antidepressants can lose effectiveness over time requiring dosage increase.

Using antidepressant medication is not a sign of weakness. It is smart of make use of available tools. Of course you also need to utilize other techniques.

How about the federal government? I could see the VA needing registered dietitian. But almost any job would be a good thing. I actually saw a article this morning about the FAA looking to hire those with mental health issues. I work for the federal government and, by and large, if you get though the probation period you have a job for life and very good benefits. You could start at an entry level job to get in the door.

BTW I lived at home until I was 32 (with some years away for school) noting wrong with that.

Okay, thanks for the suggestion. I am a registered dietetic technician, meaning we typically work under the supervision of a registered dietitian. There are minimal online jobs for my credentials unfortunately, so I have to opt for nutrition related positions. I can still look and see if there are any government jobs related to my credentials.