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DeeeSchmeee68
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Default May 19, 2024 at 10:40 AM
  #1
I'll try to make this brief and uncomplicated

I've been at my job 2 1/2 months. Month 1, they all told me to be aware of this creepy married guy who hits on everyone. Then, they gave examples. So married guy comes in, and I waited on him (it's a credit union) and was super nervous. After he left, he called the branch. I answered, and he asked for the other new woman. He just wanted to say hello it's nice to see you! I freaked out a bit and maybe went a little overboard, asking if we could have him banned, it's sexual harassment etc. Since it's a member owned credit union, it would have to be voted on.

The next day, I get spoken to and was told that they'll see what they can do. However, "You did say Mary would like a ride on your motorcycle!" to a different member. So we can't say those types of things either.

Now, no one really speaks to me. It's very quiet until Mary gets there. 2 days a week. She and another woman have known each other for over 20 years. So when she comes in, its more lively. Mary will ask if "so and so" the member who just came in is single. Or say oh he's cute!"" The other woman says, 'You're like a cat in heat! Gimmie, a squirt bottle for her!' So I get a little carried away thinking it's all fun. Everyone is laughing at what she said, and I say, "Does he have a nice butt?'"

The woman starts getting louder and more animated and says. "Didn't we already have this conversation! We're not supposed to talk about that!" But she seems like she's joking. And I said that's not the same thing.

So here's my question.
Is my asking about a guy's butt when no customers are around the same thing as a married man calling to flirt with another employee?

AND should I mention it or apologize to the woman at work?
If I'm wrong, I take responsibility

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Default May 19, 2024 at 12:02 PM
  #2
Maybe mentioning a sexual body part is a step too far? It's like talking about a specific person's boobs. Just a bit too personal? Whereas telling someone they are like a cat in heat is a simile. Like they are like a white tornado.

I had a coworker who was ALWAYS going on about guys' cute butts. I never understood it. Turned out she was a lesbian. But maybe i need a course in sex education to explain why a guy's butt should be compelling to me!
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Default May 19, 2024 at 01:01 PM
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Very interesting comparison. I do see your point. However, I didn't equate it with the married man calling the branch to talk to women.
That's the part that confused me. My comment was compared to that situation. Should I go in to work tomorrow and apologize for making anyone uncomfortable?
I know I need to be more careful and aware of what I say in the workplace

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Default May 19, 2024 at 01:02 PM
  #4
I could explain the butt fascination but i'm sure it wouldn't be appropriate here

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Default May 19, 2024 at 01:21 PM
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I wouldnt bring it up. My work experience has always been that if i just stop doing whatever it was that i was doing, people just forgot about it and absolutely moved on. Unlike my family, esp my mother, who would keep bringing it up and bringing it up and bringing it up and never letting me live it down. It was like such a relief!
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Default May 19, 2024 at 01:32 PM
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I wouldnt bring it up. My work experience has always been that if i just stop doing whatever it was that i was doing, people just forgot about it and absolutely moved on. Unlike my family, esp my mother, who would keep bringing it up and bringing it up and bringing it up and never letting me live it down. It was like such a relief!
Good advice, hopefully.I don't get a talking too by my managerConfused at Work

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Default May 19, 2024 at 01:35 PM
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Yeah hopefully you can just say like "oh yeah sorry i thought we were going there but apparently we werent, my bad!"
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Default May 19, 2024 at 02:04 PM
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Yeah hopefully you can just say like "oh yeah sorry i thought we were going there but apparently we werent, my bad!"
Good thinkingConfused at Work

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Default May 20, 2024 at 05:12 PM
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I think the difference is that the flirting guy is a customer but you are an employee. He’s not subjected to the same kind of rules

I’d try to forget about it and hopefully it will blow over.
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Default May 20, 2024 at 05:44 PM
  #10
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I think the difference is that the flirting guy is a customer but you are an employee. He’s not subjected to the same kind of rules


I’d try to forget about it and hopefully it will blow over.
Good idea. No mention of it today Confused at Work

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