[Martina]

So my psych nurse asked me to bring in an old photo album of me as a baby/child/teen. I did, and also brought in some pictures bringing her from then till now. She noticed that most if not all of the pictures were of me and my husband (or then boyfriend) on a vacation.

We used to go on a LOT of vacations! Cruises, Bahamas, Vegas, San Francisco, Disneyland, the works. My husband was a vacation fanatic before we met, and it just carried over. He used to work two jobs when he was single - he would work his arse off all year, then take a huge vacation all by himself. That was his "thing." And when I came along, that was our "thing."

Well...since our daughter was born, we haven't been on any major vacation. Only one weekend trip to the coast and the Redwoods, which was nice.

My psych nurse knows that our marriage is in shambles. We are actually doing marriage counseling with her as well. Anyway - when she saw all the pictures, and saw how happy we were, she mentioned that maybe we should go on a romantic getaway, just the two of us, to reconnect.

But I'm unemployed. Receiving unemployment benefits - government money. Don't know when I'll get a job, or if I ever will.

But on the other hand...I'm not working, so I don't have to worry about taking the time off work. My husband has 3 MONTHS of vacation time at his job (it accrues forever, he would always take the time from his other job not this one). We have an awesome babysitter that LOVES our daughter and has offered in the past to take her overnight.

Am I crazy to want to go on a little getaway? Nothing extravagant, maybe a road trip to San Francisco or just a nice B&B on the coast or something. I live 4 hours from the coast, 5 hours from San Francisco.

Is it "wrong" to use unemployment money to spend on a vacation? Should I only be using it on necessities?

Even when I get a job, we won't be able to go on vacation for at least a year because I'll be brand new on the job with no vacation leave. And I do NOT want to take any time off without pay - that will only get me into the situation I was at before that got me fired. I need to show them that I'm dependable, that I'll show up to work when they want me to. So that means one more year without a vacation - well, maybe a weekend getaway, but nothing more.

[Wants2Fly]

If your husband has paid vacation time available, would any of his money be available for this trip?

B & B's are always a tad expensive for frugal me. You probably could find some great deals by scanning the web.

Do you know how your darling husband will respond to this? Will he feel that the two of you are wasting money? Is he in the middle of any projects that he cannot leave right now? Will he interpret your scheduling such as a trip as an attempt to gloss over real problems that exist? Are relations good enough between you so that spending all that time together will be a pleasure, or it is likely to produce only more strain? Extended time together can be a great way to reconnect -- or a pressure cooker that might make the problems explode.

It seems to me that the important opinions are those of your husband and counselor, not me.

Camping trips cost virtualy nothing and its real nice snuggling up to an open fire ......

[Rachie]

I say go for it the two of you deserve it and it will be great for you to get some time away from family life and get some quality you and hubby time. I dont think its wrong if you use your benefit money to go on a holiday. By the sounds of it you need it and you dererve it

[Peppermint_Patty]

Hi Martina

I say go for it.

I have been unemployed before and have taken vacations while getting unemployment. You are not going to get much free time when you get employed again, and you only live once... so pack your bags and go!

Even if it doesn't help your marriage, a vacation can be a good way for the both of you to just de-stress and relax a bit. Also... problems can be viewed in a more objective manner when one views them from a distance.