if people get upset because you don't follow their advice, they shouldn't. pc is supposed to provide non-judgmental support. no one should get upset or angry, and if they do they're not being very supportive.

i used to tell everyone the analogy that i was a broken vase- if you have a glass vase and it keeps falling off a table, it keeps getting cracked and eventually is broken beyond repair. i was convinced i was that vase and that i could no longer be fixed, and that anyone who said otherwise was lying or just trying to make me feel better. i was a broken vase, a broken toy, a puzzle missing pieces. no matter what anyone told me, it never mattered, no one could change my mind. i listened to people's words but they couldn't change what i thought. i am a stubborn person.

i know now i'm not an object. i may feel like an object sometimes but i'm human and you can't compare people to objects. people are people and i realized that my analogy was faulty and wrong. i had to realize that on my own time. i know my words won't change your way of thinking but no good person sees you as an object. there are still plenty of times i tell myself i am that broken vase and nothing will mend me, and when i think that, no one's words will budge my way of thinking, until i realize again on my own time i am wrong. i will never be perfect but i can get better. i am a human, i have survived this much and i'm resiliant. i'm not an object, so i can heal.

you rposting shows you care about your own well-being at least a bit. you may think you've lost everything and i am in no way trying to belittle your situation but you're young and there's plenty of good in the world you haven't yet seen. you have yourself and your future to live for.

i know how hard it is to act in a bad situation and no matter how rational someone thinks their advice is. fear overtakes us and so does helplessness.

do what's best for you when it comes to posting and if people get upset they shouldn't read it. post, don't post, whatever you think is best for you. if getting it out helps then get it out. the people who matter will be non-judgmental and won't get upset at you and will do their best to support you.

not eloquent with words so i hope this doesn't offend. take care of yourself and remember people here wish you well.