It's not just you. I know exactly how you feel. My current boyfriend was kind of like that until I about exploded on him lol. Eventually I told him that I couldn't take not having that deep connection with him during sex and that I felt like he used jokes etc... to keep himself closed off.

Come to find out, his ex that he was with for 5 years left him for another man out of the blue. So he has a really hard time letting his guard down with me, afraid I'm just going to do the same thing. And one thing I've heard on this site from a few different people is that when we choose the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with, we're choosing someone who we want to grow emotionally with. That we pick the person who we learn how to open up with etc... So, just because he is like this now doesn't mean he will always be, or that he wants to be that way.

And, a lot of times, guys who are struggling with money or a problem at work will take their anger out on everything EXCEPT the actual problem. So, if a guy didn't get the promotion at work, you'll find him screaming at his 1 sock when he can't find the match - that type of thing. And it all goes back to allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Sounds like maybe he's just stressed?

But try not to pry into his mind - that'll probably just upset him. Try opening up yourself to kind of bring him out of his shell. If you suspect it's a problem at work then say something about your job that you think might make him say "yeah, speaking of work..." and get him to talk about what's on his mind.

Depending on how long you've been noticing this, I wouldn't worry too much. Guys are into 'doing' instead of 'thinking'. Still try and get to the bottom of this, but be careful how you approach it.