oh can i relate to how you descibed you described your anger. Please know you are not alone...cannot think straight. Therapist gave me a great tip...expend the energy first in a non distructive way but one in which only seems distructive. What always works for me is to toilet paper the inside of my house! The reason always comes out in the process. Someone else i know would buy inexpensive plates and throw them in a field, another plays fetch with her dog...although her dog could not throw worth a darn and she got tired of looking for the ball in the woods (kidding about the dog part). Hope this helps.