Hi:
You are in a tough spot. I feel for you. Especailly about the flashbacks. I am the frakkin' queen of flashbacks. I am here for you if you ever want to talk. Just PM me. PSTD is one of the worst things I deal with. I've had to change T's like 4 times this year becuz of Insurances, so I can totally relate. It's the time befor ethe change that is the worst, the worrying , etc, but remember if you don't get a good fit, you can move on to the next one. I had to do that twice and now I've got a real sweetheart and am on the best meds and I am feeling better than I have in 8 years. So there is hope! I know it doesn't seem like it now, but there is hope beyond the flashbacks. Just keep talking/posting it'll help.