Thanks to all for all the replies. I just don't know what T gets from the relationship, and I am still thinking about it. I know he gets $200 per week. I hope he gets a hell of a lot more. I hope he feels the caring and love I feel for him. I hope he enjoys the opportunities I give him to feel proud of my growth--kind of like I feel with my own children. I know he gets to worry about me when I am very depressed and that makes me feel good and bad simultaneously. I hope I expand his understanding of human-kind (the kind of person I am, because culturally we come from different backgrounds)....this way he can help others more.

I know I hope for a lot but I just couldn't bear to think that this relationship was anything less to him. After all, he was the one who said to me, "Miss, this relationship is real."

Peaceout