Quote:
|
In my case if I ever become visibly on the verge of crying...My T mentioning this would make me feel uncomfortable and it wouldn't likely happen again in the near future.
|
chaotic, that's how I'm afraid I might react, and I don't want that - I want to feel more open to showing my emotions freely in therapy.
Quote:
|
she tells me that i should never take up a career playing poker because she can tell by my face who is going to come out and tell her what!
|
stumpy, that is too funny! It is rather nice and comforting, and also a bit scary, to know that our T's can read us that well, isn't it? My T used a word that I didn't like, and I told her I didn't like it - she said she could tell right away. I definitely don't have a poker face, either!
Quote:
|
I think it may vary from person to person. It sounds like your T has judged that it would not be good for you to directly call attention to your emotions. Do you wish she would acknowledge your feelings more? You could always tell her, if that's the case. It sounds like you are getting more and more comfortable having feelings around her, so one of these days, the tears will probably come.
|
Sunrise, your T sounds wonderful! But I think you're right - I'm already not 100% comfortable with being the center of T's attention for those 45 minutes, so maybe that's why my T isn't verbalizing times when I'm close to crying. She is certainly pointing out more when I'm avoiding, though - maybe because I'm more comfortable with that than with showing the emotions.
I'm just really curious if she's seeing the changes like I feel them, when I'm about to cry - she must, though, because she's very attuned to me in many other respects.
Quote:
|
But she may not want to do that because it puts her in the position of giving you permission to cry, something she surely wants you to feel free to do, but on your own terms and not on her cue or as a direction from her.
|
That's exactly what I was thinking, ECHOES... and as much as I want to move things along and break through that wall, I do trust my T that she knows what she's doing. Plus, it's happening more in each session now, the almost-crying feeling, so I think I am close. I also think I need to take some of the pressure off myself!
Quote:
|
i guess she is waiting for me to tell her what the upsetting thought is but last time it happened I was FAR from ready to talk about that. Sometimes I really feel as if I am wasting her time.
|
SAWE, you are definitely not wasting your T's time!
My T just keeps on asking me questions about whatever it is that we're talking about, maybe she's trying to figure out what triggers my reactions. But it's never a waste of time!
Quote:
|
Sometimes if she notices a change in my voice, she will say something like, I can tell that this subject goes very deep for you, or is more painful than what you show.
|
hangingon, my T has done something similar a few times, only she waits until we're further into the discussion and I've regained my composure - not sure why she's making that choice, but it may have to do with her wanting me to feel safe. I told her that I am very afraid of losing control of my emotions in therapy, but I also told her that I want to cry in therapy - oy!
Thanks for the thoughtful responses, everyone!
