No, not ok, don't know why

keep trying to post and can't...erase, sit, stare, type, erase

not ok at all! (but ty for asking)

teary and crying today, don't know why

overwhelmed with don't know what

WHY must i be such a mystery to myself? IF i made my parts (if i have them), why don't they just tell me my life?! WHY do i have to wonder all the time about my life??? i'm sick of this! IF what i've thought happened to me actually happened, WHY can't i just know it? Knowing but not knowing. i don't know who i are anymore. i don't know if i ever did. i'm so tired of it all. So so tired.

tears trickling down my face...why? i don't CARE! i'm just crazy...and i don't know why i should be alive for this.

i can't think.