((((((((hangingon)))))))
you are being just so mature about all this in the way you are handling it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hangingon
My T replied to my email, taking some blame, but telling me that its my unexpressed concern that affected our work. I just told her how it was affecting me, and look how she responded, would it really have made a difference if I told her 3 months earlier?
She admitted to her counter-transference and also said take not of your transference.
This is so frustrating.....
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i'm glad she's taking some responsibility. this really reminds me of my friend i mentioned. i have such an incredibly hard time confronting people so when i do it is really a sign of health and means i care and i do try to do it nicely. my friend would be very combative like your t was in session because they just don't want to admit they've done anything wrong. my friend would actually turn around what hurt me and try to make it my fault. for someone like me who is really non-confrontational this was just the worst response i could have ever imagined. after the initial confrontations where she'd been so combative she'd then later take a bit of responsibility like your t. i told her after this happened a couple of times that i wasn't sure i'd be able to continue in a friendship if this kept happening because it was just too much drama for me. it was like she would start a problem to test our friendship or something. i don't know. after she did something really hurtful to me i couldn't take anymore and ended the friendship. needless to say she went ballistic. she had some wonderful characteristics but not being able to resolve conflict without getting mad and blaming me for what she had done was a real dealbreaker for me.
the reason i brought all that up is that i'm concerned with how your t is dealing with you confronting her both with this huge incident and the taking breaks thing you had recently. i am guessing this is her pattern so i think you need to consider it in whether or not you decide to stay with her. maybe you can put up with that knowing that if you confront her on things initially she won't handle it well and will be defensive and combative but then will calm down later and be a bit more reasonable. i think it's worth considering as you make your decision. i'm sure she has other great qualities and maybe they will outway this but it's good to be a bit prepared.
you really are handling this all beautifully h.o.
