Hi Obiswife,
I just wanted to say thank you for these beautifully written posts - they're articulate an so revealing of true emotions past and present. I think you're a very wise person and you've come so far already. It's seems that you're well on the road to healing. I'm very sorry your husband left you and to do it on Mother's Day weekend - that's brutal. I really think you're too good for him and make sure you get a good lawyer and don't give him a penny.
I know very well that feeling you describe where you opened your palms and asked the heavens what you should do. You describe a pivotal moment where you reach inward for your own strength. You seem like a strong woman and I bet you're going to be just fine soon and perhaps better than before. You're well on the road to healing and self discovery. You GO GIRL !