Place, I really think you are right with this being a matter of control. I have to have total control over any aspect of my life. And right now I don't feel like I have any control over anything. Last nights T was extremely hard. I've even told T that I really can't handle much right now.
I went for my blood work this morning, they also did a urine test again. I came back with blood in my urine. I've only been off the antibiotics for 2 weeks now. They sent it off for more test and said that they can't give me anything for the depression till they know more from all the blood work and urine sample. She said that if my urine test comes back negative again they are sending me to the kidney specialist. She asked me if I've had any pain. Which I don't I can't feel anything really to do with my body. Sometimes the DID really gets in the way.