hi shangrala. so sorry to hear about your marriage situation. i hear so many times of wives that having been trying for years to fix marital problems and the husbands are quite unresponsive, and then when they finally decide to leave or divorce, the guy finally wakes up and then wants to work things out. usually, the wife, like you, doesn't seem to have any more left in her to work on the marriage after trying for so many years. i don't know why this happens but it seems somewhat common. i wonder if it's that many guys respond better to (drastic?) action than words or what? i've never been married so i'm just guessing here and feel free to take it all with a big heap of salt. your husband has probably also realized how great you are by being with someone else. he's probably been comparing her to you and seeing where your strengths are and is now realizing what he will be losing. i do think it would be wise to think about how you got into this marriage i.e. by caretaking and how it seems you may be doing the same thing with the younger guy you've mentioned.

take care.