PPatty....

You offer alot of researched information, which has its value, sure.
But, unless I've simply overlooked it, I have yet to read anything from you which even directs LOVE itself, (whether through your textbooks & research findings, or even from yourself).

With ANY relationship, there has to be love, (among all the other goodies, of course...lol). It is as simple as that. And although your case studies and concluded statistics are interesting, they are missing the main ingredient.. emotions.

If everyone were to make their choices by what all these cold, calloused and rigid studies provide, those 'statistics' would certainly be far higher.
Love is what's needed, and that's something which your studies and statistics lack.

I don't mean to sound harsh or offensive, (not my intention). But, it just occurred to me that while most of these discussions througout this thread were about choices of age, age variance, and our experiences, the majority of them also included emotions in them, as well.

The one statement you made:
When I see a marriage that has lasted for 50 years or longer, I often wonder which person had to do the most sacrificing in order to make the marriage work.
My first reaction was, how sad that the first thing you think of is something so cynical and negative.

To me, when I see the same, the first thing I think of is "How wonderful", "How fortunate"....and I can only wish that I will be as blessed as they have been, as well.
That couple who has had such a long life together HAS that one ingredient, (among all those other goodies..lol)....LOVE. And bless their hearts.
I can only hope the same for you Patty, (as for us all). That someday love will present itself to you, as well. We all needs.

Also, the second statement of yours:
And that's why I personally think a long and happy marriage-- where both parties are EQUALLY happy with their lives and the choices they made, is such a very, very rare thing.
I think that maybe the measure of equality shouldn't be placed on just happiness alone, as that would seemingly only result imbalanced as every one of us have different perceptions of happiness.
But maybe, the equality should be more placed on the overall success of the "whole", (IF a measurement should need to be applied at all).
It would seem to me, however, once a relationship has reached long and prosperous into their years, I'd be more interested in seeking out their recipe for success....lol, because, yes, it is a very blessed unity.

Take care~

Shangrala