Thanks everyone for all of your kind words of support.

It's all set up ... I've got the extra meds, I've got an appointment to see a T in two weeks... I'll just have to wait and see I guess.

Today I just indulged the depression, because I felt like I had to. I needed to take a day to wallow in self-pity, to sleep on and off, to be by myself and just let it have me. Eventually I managed to drag myself to the bookstore where I used to work and a lot of my friends are still there, so I curled up in a chair and read until they closed and sat quietly with a friend afterwards who knows about my depression and could tell I wasn't doing so great. After having spent so long fighting it back I was too exhausted to do it anymore, and now that I've had my day of not fighting I think tomorrow I'll be able to get up and go again. I'm trying hard not to be too hard on myself for needing to up my meds or go back to therapy. It sucks because I feel like I'm just going backwards, and I'm nervous about meeting and having to learn to trust a new T, but the last time my depression got bad, upping my meds and starting therapy not only saved my life, but did me a WORLD of good. So I'm going to try to look at this as an opportunity to get back to how good I was feeling a few weeks ago.