Sounds like my parents.

They use money as a leash. I don't think it's intentional, but that's the effect. I try telling them to just throw me out of the house--that I'm too used to being unmotivated and taken care of, but they say they love me too much to stop giving me money and shelter.

I just have to figure this out. I lived away from home for four years--but they paid for my apartment and all my other expenses. I was away at college.

It's weird when your parents don't do anything explicitly abusive, but you still feel some kind of abuse. I just think my parents are really good at passive aggressive guilty abuse.

Anytime some issue gets brought up, my mom sends me some long melodramatic E-mail telling me how things are going to be from now on, or she comes up to my room and gives me a lot of unwanted affection. Just stuff that makes me feel kind of gross as a 23-year-old male. I don't need to be showered with kisses and "I love yous." It makes me feel weird. I actually feel this really awful tingling sensation when it happens--like when someone touches you inappropriately and you want to recoil. I almost feel like she relies on me for her love because my dad is such a problem to get along with. This also makes me feel guilty when I spend time alone or without her. She's just milling about the house doing nothing because my dad's either at work or sitting in his office doing work E-mails. Guilt is all perception, but I genuinely feel like there's resentment shared between my parents when I dare enjoy my time without them.

Hope you find a way. Give me some advice if you do. I'm thinking of just jetting without much fanfare, myself. I just don't know how far the money I have will take me. I'm worried about the guilt I'll feel when I do it. I shouldn't feel guilty, though. I'm an adult. Why do my parents make me feel guilty about wanting to be an adult? I don't get it. The more they do this stuff to me, the more I resent them. It blows my mind they're so oblivious to that. Last night, my dad gave me a lecture on how he has no problem with me wanting to move on with my life, but I need to present him with a plan that proves I'm mature enough to move on. Then he'll give me tons of money and keep supporting me while I'm away so I can still feel that invisible leash around my neck. Like, what? I don't need to ask permission to get away from you guys. What is this? I feel so infantilized and emasculated around them.

The thing that bothers me the most is that I seem to be a lot more educated and intellectually curious than either of them. I don't know how I ended up with such boring, "broken" parents. I try to talk myself out of thinking like that, but I can't help it. Their personalities seem like one of my biggest obstacles to overcome. It's honestly just numbing my brain and emotions being around them so much.

I know I sound like a spoiled whiner, but it's the effects of what they give me and do that bug me, not the actual substance. I think there's a way to be loving without making a person feel guilty and embarrassed.