Hi Peaches,

I don't know anything about your history so forgive me if this is off the mark. There is a psychological term "object constancy" that might relate to what you are describing. Basically, when we are very young, we learn to hold an image of a parental figure in our mind even when they are not around, and this provides comfort and also the sense of continuity. Learning this depends on the parental figure being somewhat consistent, fairly responsive, and able to help us reconnect after there has been a disconnection. (Like one or the other person being angry, or even just absent)

If we don't experience those things, we can fail to learn that 'objects (ie attachment figures) remain constant over time. And that can result in what you seem to be describing...which is also my experience in all of my relationships, most especially that with my therapist. My hope though, (and in reading the other responses here I am encouraged!) is that I can gain enough experience of this consistency and reconnection in therapy to allow me to feel more continuity everywhere.

Hmmm...I would also add that I don't experience myself as very continuous...I live very much in response to others, as opposed to from within myself...so things get pretty disconnected.

sorry if this is too intellectual...I read a lot of psychology books looking for answers!

Bottom line...hang in there!!