|
I'm kind of all over the place right now, and I wasn't sure where to put this so it went here, since most of it has to do with my bf.
My boyfriend and I have been together for well over a year now, living together in a studio apartment for most of it.
My problem now - cats.
They chew. I am driven nuts by them. They make me want to walk out the door and not come back. I had already decided not to have cats for at least 15-20 years if ever, because I knew I wouldn't be able handle them. They are needy and expensive for someone just barely scraping by, and are destructive to my property. They also cause me a lot of emotional harm. Part of this stems from the cat I lost a few years back, a family cat but I loved her like a sister and more. One cat pratically gloats after she does something bad, she vies for my bf's attention. The other is a bit nicer but EXTREMELY needy.
Not to mention they wake us up hours before we need to be awake to get fed, walk all over me at night, and I just got a brand new computer one has already tried to chew on it when I was right there watching.
I feel horrible for being the way I am but I even have been running after the one in fits of anger. I never thought I could harm an animal but now I know I can lay hands on one. I don't know if I can ever live that down, but I need help dealing with this, since I'm living in a studio apartment with no space to get away.
I just hate and love them so much. The hate drives me bonkers, and is dangerous to both me and the cats.
I'm also freaked about alot of other things at this time with my relationship which is another story altogether. Thank you for reading. I'm not expecting much from this. I wish there were a forum for this trouble I'm having but I really don't think very many have been in this position, which makes me feel even worse.
So thank you for reading, please be honest and if necessary brutal in your replies.
*hangs head in shame*
__________________
Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
|