Needing someone to listen - sorry it's a bit long

I'm kind of all over the place right now, and I wasn't sure where to put this so it went here, since most of it has to do with my bf.
My boyfriend and I have been together for well over a year now, living together in a studio apartment for most of it.

My problem now - cats.

They chew. I am driven nuts by them. They make me want to walk out the door and not come back. I had already decided not to have cats for at least 15-20 years if ever, because I knew I wouldn't be able handle them. They are needy and expensive for someone just barely scraping by, and are destructive to my property. They also cause me a lot of emotional harm. Part of this stems from the cat I lost a few years back, a family cat but I loved her like a sister and more. One cat pratically gloats after she does something bad, she vies for my bf's attention. The other is a bit nicer but EXTREMELY needy.
Not to mention they wake us up hours before we need to be awake to get fed, walk all over me at night, and I just got a brand new computer one has already tried to chew on it when I was right there watching.

I feel horrible for being the way I am but I even have been running after the one in fits of anger. I never thought I could harm an animal but now I know I can lay hands on one. I don't know if I can ever live that down, but I need help dealing with this, since I'm living in a studio apartment with no space to get away.

I just hate and love them so much. The hate drives me bonkers, and is dangerous to both me and the cats.


I'm also freaked about alot of other things at this time with my relationship which is another story altogether. Thank you for reading. I'm not expecting much from this. I wish there were a forum for this trouble I'm having but I really don't think very many have been in this position, which makes me feel even worse.

So thank you for reading, please be honest and if necessary brutal in your replies.
*hangs head in shame*

((((((((((((turquoisesea))))))))))))))

Animals can be a pain. My grandfather has a dog, for instance, that only likes him (and semi-tolerates my grandmother). She barks when you come in the door and doesn't STOP barking until you leave; she will try to bite your ankles if you get too close to her and she growls and bares her teeth if you get too close to my grandpa. Now, I'm a dog person -- I have two dogs myself, and they are my babies, and I could never imagine hurting them. But THAT dog ... well, that dog is just evil. Animals have personalities as much as people do, and disliking a particular animal is no worse than disliking a particular person because you just don't get along.

Up until very recently, one of my friends was living with someone who had a cat that she couldn't stand. It was very much like your boyfriend's cats -- destructive of property, needy, and on top of that it seemed to take pleasure in sinking its claws in your feet when you weren't paying attention. My friend eventually got a cheap spray bottle, filled it with water, and kept it with her at all times. Whenever the cat got in the way, started chewing on things it shouldn't, or bothered her in general, she would squirt it once with the water. It doesn't harm the cat, but the cat doesn't like it, so it'll either stop what it's doing or it'll try to get away. Eventually, if you do it enough, the cat will learn not to come near you (or your stuff!)

Also, have you spoken to your boyfriend about the cats? I know it's hard to tell someone -- especially someone you care about -- that you hate their pets. I get really defensive of my dogs, myself. But maybe there's some way of compromising, like not letting the cats into certain parts of the apartment, or finding some way of better protecting your stuff. Try to be as calm as you can when you talk to him, and make sure he knows that you understand what the cats mean to him, it's just that you're not really getting along and it might be time to come up with a plan so that the four of you can live together.

((((((((justfloating))))))))))

Yes I've talked to the bf about the cats, we're completely up to speed, just neither of us knows what to do. Maybe I SHOULD get a spraybottle *turquoisesea on PATROL teheee *

I'd love to keep the cats in one part of the apartment only, but since we're in a studio apartment, it's one big space - bed kitchen everything all in the same space (it's a really NICE big space though), walk in closet *small for 2 cats to "live in" and a bathroom *again... poor kitties. At first my boyfriend would refuse to lock them anywhere and then I'D be the one in the closet, but since then he's been willing to lock them up. It's tough cuz then they scratch the floors to get out. This morning, my boyfriend brought the cat cariers upstairs from the storage space in the basement and put them in the carriers, in the closet, and closed the door. They made a huge racket for a little while but then they actually calmed down. Maybe that'll have to happen for a little while - they keep waking us up WAY too early.

I'm allergic to cats. Pretty bad. Put the cats in the list of issues you have with the relationship and bring them up. Either at home or at a couples' counseling session. You cannot be happy in the relationship if you have a lot of issues with your "side" of the relationship.

However - look inward too. Do you have issues with any relationship or just this one? If this one ends, will the next one be "tained" by the fact that this relathionship ended? (like the cat you lost, if you lose this relationship - does it transfer on to the next?)

You may need to have therapy yourself (I've been in therapy since 2004 pretty regularly - I enjoy it but you have to do the work). You could work on yourself and see how the relationship grows from that. But don't ignore your own needs - whether it is to get better or make the relationship better. But be clear and work on what bugs you.