Hang on to THIS, reflection. It is THEIR issue.

Family stuff is so tricky...there is a whole lifetime of patterns of interaction, everyone plays their role, and it's SO HARD to break out of. When I had the flu last week, my mom came over to watch my kids while I went to the doctor and I immediately reverted into my childhood behaviors...acting like I was fine (even though I had no voice and could barely stand), being "the grown up", pretending I didn't need anything and I was only a little sick, etc.

I think that even when we have worked HARD on healing, and have changed how we relate to the world in huge ways, being thrown together with our family of origin makes it ridiculously hard to hang on to those new ways of thinking/being. T went to a couples therapy training and in the training, they were saying that when a couple visits one partner's family of origin, the other partner has to step in and play the role of "adult" because the person visiting their family has such a tendency to revert back to "child" in that atmosphere.

I'm sure this is something you talk about with T, since it sounds like an ongoing issue. I know how hard it is. I wonder if she can help you set some boundaries so you can avoid not only dealing with your health issues, but having to deal with people who are unsupportive around those issues.

Be gentle with you. Rest, breathe. Don't be afraid to have boundaries.