Hi everyone,

I don't normally post on here, due to the fact that I am not currently dx with depression......I suffer from Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder and the extreme symptoms of perimenpause. I am 36......

PMDD is treated usually with anti-depressants and birth control pills......peri is usually controlled by anti-depressants, HRT and benzo's.......so I got both whammys coming straight for me right now.......and I am in the biggest pit.

I was put on AD's(after being off them for a few years) and they made me suicidal(most likely due to the shutting down of the ovaries and different hormone fluctuations), the BCP fixed some of the symptoms and made others worse. I am hesitant to take the HRT due to our family's history with an aggressive strain of breast cancer......I will end up taking it though as the symptoms become unbearable at times. Like now

The difference between clinical/endogenous depression and PMDD is the cycles. PMDD is cyclic and corresponds to physiological markers.....however, it can be the same intensity to Major Depressive Disorder.......so every month or when my cycle decides to kick in, I am floored. Suicidal, rage, crying, irritability, acute fatigue, insomnia and all the lovely physical attributes that go along with it.......I feel like once a cycle I go through a combine harvester and it can last up to 3 weeks.

I feel like I am being pulled in half......I don't know who I am......and the most AWFUL nightmares.......I just want to cry and cry and cry......

Thanks for listening everybody......

Michah