I think I should stay out of the chat rooms for a little while. I just end up pissing people off. The weird thing is that no one ever has a problem with me during the day. It's just when I get on in the early hours of the morning when I can't sleep. I hate people being mad at me and sometimes I don't relize what I've said can be hurtful til it's already on the screen. Then After I relize people are mad at me I get upset. It's so stupid really. Cause then not only do I not have my family and friends, but I also don't have the people here, which makes me feel really alone and completely worthless. Now I feel like every time I get on the chat those people that didn't like the things that I said are sitting around hating me and waiting for me to leave, but I can't leave cause then I start to think too much and that leads me to bad places mentally. They left me to go talk in a password protected room. I would have just left if they had asked me to. If anyone is still reading this, you can stop. I just don't want to have nothing to do right now, so I decided to start typing and just keep going til I'm okay again. Even the people who didn't say anything just left. Meaning they didn't want me around. I don't know why I have to be so stupid sometimes. I should have known not to say what I did, but I was upset from an earlier conversation and they just kept going on about it and I had to say something. I should have just kept my mouth shut. but I didn't. And there is nothing I can do about it now. at least thats what I keep telling myself, I can tell myself that all day long but it won't make me believe it. But I have to. I promised myself I would stop thinking so much and gosh darn it I mean it. I think I'm alright. If you read the whole thing, i really sorry for having wasted your time with my rant.