(((((((((((((((((moon))))))))))))))))))

I know you know how much I can relate to every single thing you wrote. I am stuck in the same place and it's painful and it's hard.

I wish I knew the way out. Yesterday, T said something about how children should be treated, and I thought about how my children ARE treated that way...and suddenly I had this "a-ha" moment...*I* was a child, and *I* was supposed to be treated that way too. It's hard for me to wrap my brain around that, but the times I have a glimmer of forgiveness or compassion towards myself are those moments when I can somehow step outside of my life, see myself as just any old child, and realize that the child that I was deserved the same things all children deserve.

I know you feel the same way I do about children, so I wonder if that perspective would help you too??

It's a painful place, sweet moon, and one that will probably take a lot of unlearning and relearning and hard work to move out of it. It's clear to ME that you are so, so, SO deserving of love...but I know that until it's clear to you, it's hard to believe that and hang on to that.

Maybe we can hold each other's hand and find our way out of this place together.