Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
(((((((((((((((((moon)))))))))))))))))) 
I know you know how much I can relate to every single thing you wrote. I am stuck in the same place and it's painful and it's hard.
I wish I knew the way out. Yesterday, T said something about how children should be treated, and I thought about how my children ARE treated that way...and suddenly I had this "a-ha" moment...*I* was a child, and *I* was supposed to be treated that way too. It's hard for me to wrap my brain around that, but the times I have a glimmer of forgiveness or compassion towards myself are those moments when I can somehow step outside of my life, see myself as just any old child, and realize that the child that I was deserved the same things all children deserve. |
I wonder how I am able to love my children so deeply and to believe with every bone in my body that they deserve that moment by moment nurturing and care for their thoughts and feelings. How they are precious just because they were born and every smile and tear is a gift. But I dont see myself that way.
I love your "ah-ha" moments
and I would like to believe that I was a precious child at one point myself. And I still am that precious. I wonder if I was ever considered as precious as I consider my children. My mother just didnt make the effort to understand who her children were- I mean as gifts to be cherished. I wish I had felt cherished as a child, or deserving of being cherished.
When I step outside myself, there are those moments, but it does stretch my brain to think of me that way
Oh, Tree, thank you
Lets find our way out of this together
