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Nov 07, 2009, 11:48 AM
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Member Since: Feb 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,611
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Berries   It sort of sounds like you may (unconciously?) ambivalent about these things you want to do, like being in the mentoring program. I would do things like sign up to volunteer - I really wanted to do it. But I never felt sure enough of myself, or simply became frightened, when it came right down to doing something like that. Then I would beat myself up for "failing again." Perhaps you are in some kind of cycle like this?
I finally ended up not doing anything for a long while. I still don't "do" much outside of being a wife and taking care of my home and 2 dogs. When I really FEEL that I'm ready to take on something - my wants and my feelings are together - then I DO. Mostly I find being around people and most socializing to be very stressful for me, so I simply don't do it. It ends up causing me more harm, emotionally or psychologically, than any good it does me. You, and I, are worthwhile even if we "be" more than "do." But that took me a long time to learn.
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